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Overwhelming week
Redemption
Community Connector Posts: 4,722 The Mix Elder
My family are currently on holiday so I’ve been having to drive my cousin around and handle his post because he sells stuff online but doesn’t have a car. I’ve been dropping off all his items to be shipped and taking him to football and honestly it’s been overwhelming. On top of everything I’m already feeling overwhelmed trying to find my place in life and I feel like I’ve been dumped with responsibilities that aren’t mine. Housework is fine and I don’t mind doing a bit of that like running the washing machine loading the dishwasher taking out the bins as that is just doing my part. But breaks in my routine that aren’t for my benefit are tough and I don’t really want to voice my opinion because I can’t be bothered with arguments. I get really anxious when my routine is disrupted and this has thrown things off completely. I normally spend my evenings relaxing and getting support here through chat sessions but I’ve missed several of them due to all the driving. I hope I don’t seem down by saying this it’s just been a lot to deal with. On Wednesday for example I had to drop him halfway to meet someone who was giving him a lift to football. I don’t know why he couldn’t have just asked the guy to pick him up from our house. I’ve thought about it and he has a few options. He could pay for an Uber which is expensive but would take pressure off me he could ask the guy to pick him up fully he could get the bus which I know isn’t great as I hate it too or he could just skip football until our family comes back.
All this made me realise I need to be more assertive. I’ve told my family I won’t be doing this anymore and I only helped this week because no one else was around. It’s frustrating because it’s not that I don’t want to help but when it starts affecting my mental health and routine it becomes too much. I even started thinking that if I ever lost my car I’d probably just take the bus rather than rely on others. I did that during my course taking the bus daily because driving in the city centre was too stressful. I know routine changes will come when I get a job but that’s for my own benefit. Lately though my routine has been changing to suit other people and that’s what gets to me. I’ve still had a bit of time for PS5 and checking in here but it’s not the same. I’m taking him to football again this Sunday but I’ve decided that might be the last time. I’m probably quitting football after that potentially for good. It’s been getting less enjoyable anyway with people playing way too aggressively and blasting the ball hard not just one or two but several. With everything going on I think I just need a break.
All this made me realise I need to be more assertive. I’ve told my family I won’t be doing this anymore and I only helped this week because no one else was around. It’s frustrating because it’s not that I don’t want to help but when it starts affecting my mental health and routine it becomes too much. I even started thinking that if I ever lost my car I’d probably just take the bus rather than rely on others. I did that during my course taking the bus daily because driving in the city centre was too stressful. I know routine changes will come when I get a job but that’s for my own benefit. Lately though my routine has been changing to suit other people and that’s what gets to me. I’ve still had a bit of time for PS5 and checking in here but it’s not the same. I’m taking him to football again this Sunday but I’ve decided that might be the last time. I’m probably quitting football after that potentially for good. It’s been getting less enjoyable anyway with people playing way too aggressively and blasting the ball hard not just one or two but several. With everything going on I think I just need a break.
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