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feel like giving up. tw.
eylah
Posts: 8,618 Legendary Poster
pls dont say I matter etc bc i definitely don’t. but i had a shitty letter from police and it’s making me feel like shit. 
telling me they want to establish something ( didn’t tell me what. ) and that they want to go further with the investigation but ive told them so fucking clearly i don’t want to . im giving up i am so done with this world i have no one to turn to or anything . im stuck in this homeless shelter with 0 support. im fed up 
.
im safe i am not in crisis i do not need extra support. i just need to rant.
telling me they want to establish something ( didn’t tell me what. ) and that they want to go further with the investigation but ive told them so fucking clearly i don’t want to . im giving up i am so done with this world i have no one to turn to or anything . im stuck in this homeless shelter with 0 support. im fed up .im safe i am not in crisis i do not need extra support. i just need to rant.
ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
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@eylah i know your probably gonna hate me for saying this and ignoring what you said, but you 100% matter to me, and i'm certain to everybody else here. You are a ray of sunshine in a really dark and cold world. That is what is so amazing about you. That you've gone through hell, and you're still that ray of sunshine. That is what is so amazing about you, never forget that.
The police cannot force you to revisit old traumas, they can only pressure you unless they get a legal mandate. Screw them. If they ignore what your saying, you ignore them. They don't deserve a moment of your time if they aren't going to respect you.
And I know how demoralising being stuck there is. It's truly heartbreaking, because you deserve so much better than that. And this is no consolation, but remember that things can always improve. They can always get better even if it's hard to see. Things are dark right now, but it's sometimes like a rough storm. You go through the worst of the storm, and eventually, you come out the other side to better times. It's no consolation right now, and doesn't make things better for you at the minute, but remember, things can always improve. Sometimes, it's about holding on until those better times come.
Sending you 2 hugs my favourite twat in the whole wide world
Btw, i'm back now (you're 90% of the reason I couldn't stay away from the mix 😂
your first msg means a lot to me
yeah police can’t force me but bc of the nature of the report they want to know im safe from this guy bc hes done this before so i think they meant that in their msg but they have stated even though they wanna know im safe which i am they are not investigating anymore. but the reason why i cant do a investigation rn sadly i cant share bc i dont want anyone getting triggered by me.
your words are so true and mean a lot to me.
id be lost if my favourite twat left so im so happy to hear you’re staying it makes me so happy.
@eylah it's hard when somebody's been through such systemic hardship and struggled for so long, for them to see themselves in a good light sometimes, but from an outside perspective, you really are the floodlight keeping the darkness of the world at bay. That one shining light, and that one ray of sunlight that stands out above the rest. You'll have to trust me on this one, you truly are an amazing special person, worth so much more than you think you are. I'm a happy twat just from being able to tell you this.
And I know it's tricky with the police and whatever happened, but please always know, if you want, i can create a new thread altogether, just for you to have a space to say it and vent about it, with pretty much every trigger warning attached to the thread, so that it doesn't get seen by people with triggers. I wish DM's were still here. But again, i completely understand not wanting to risk triggering others even then. Only share if you feel comfortable, and the fact your still putting other peoples feelings and triggers first, is another example of how kind hearted of a person you are. Please never change, because you are about as amazing as a person can get
And i know at times, it might seem hopeless, but remember, there's always hope things get better, even when it doesn't seem that way. I'm proud of you so much for holding on, and still staying the same ray of sunshine you always are, and i'm always gonna be here for you throughout it all. You're never going to be alone. You mean the world to me too
And yeah there isn't any way I could leave the Mix and not speak to my favourite twat in the whole wide world again. Crickey, i couldn't stay away for even a week without having a chat with you at some point on here. I don't think you fully realise just how much of a positive impact you have on others, just by you being you
We all care about you Eylah ❤️, I'm sorry shout were shit, we're here for you matter what ❤️
@eylah I'm so sorry they were shitbags at shout. A lot of helplines nowadays seem to be. But please remember, the helplines failures are not reflective of you, but rather of them. This must be the 6th person i've heard complain about the shout helpline on here. So you aren't the only one who thinks that they are shit. None of it means you deserve to be treated that way, it only means that shout are being staffed with absolute baboons that they've taught the english language to, taught how to operate helplines in the most rude and insulting way imaginable, and set to work on said helplines.
How your feeling is completely valid, and understandable, and i'm sending you a hug cause you need it right now my special twat
You are cared about eylah, you're my favourite twat in the world and nothing will change that.
im safe still just having thoughts