tw - suicide attempt

eylah · June 26

hope you’re feeling better!

toffuna101 · June 26

I dont know if I am at this point.

eylah · June 26

are you feeling safe? just checking bc i know things have been rly hard recently for you.

toffuna101 · June 26

eylah wrote: »

are you feeling safe? just checking bc i know things have been rly hard recently for you.

i don't know if I'm safe at home honestly. But I'm being supervised so I guess that would count as safe. I broke down in tears when the camhs crisis team said that they can't send me to a psychiatric hospital because my camhs team think it's not in my best interests. i said that I cannot keep myself safe at home, at least if I wasn't supervised. But I am being supervised now so I guess I'm safe? I don't know. I just hate this so much. I just wish they took my best interests at heart. Because I personally believe that I need to informally stay at a psychiatric hospital.

Redemption · June 26

toffuna101 wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

are you feeling safe? just checking bc i know things have been rly hard recently for you.

i don't know if I'm safe at home honestly. But I'm being supervised so I guess that would count as safe. I broke down in tears when the camhs crisis team said that they can't send me to a psychiatric hospital because my camhs team think it's not in my best interests. i said that I cannot keep myself safe at home, at least if I wasn't supervised. But I am being supervised now so I guess I'm safe? I don't know. I just hate this so much. I just wish they took my best interests at heart. Because I personally believe that I need to informally stay at a psychiatric hospital.

Please make sure to keep safe at all times @toffuna101 reach out, remember, people care for you including all of us, you absolutely matter

toffuna101 · June 27

thanks @Redemption
im still gonna refuse treatment from camhs unless if they refer me to a psychiatric hospital or at the very least they refer me to the home treatment team from them. because im so done. i went to A&E three times in one week but they still didnt send me to a psychiatric hospital. and yes i know that psychiatric hospitals can be more detrimental than good but at least itll keep me safe.

shannon_164 · June 27

i hear you @toffuna101 and how you’re feeling is valid.

tw// i know someone who tried to end their life over 10 times in one week, ending up in a&e daily, and as soon as she was medically cleared she then got sent home even though she told them what she was gonna do once she left the hospital and they didn’t listen to her, she then left and again tried to end her life to be brought back to a&e. she had helplines involving emergency services and police putting her on section 136 to just be discharged and left with no support. she did finally end up being sectioned, but after 4 days, she was discharged again. it really is so hard to get inpatient care in the uk unfortunately:(

we really do hear how much you’re struggling right now and you’re doing really well to reach out for support, we’re so proud of you for that! are you feeling safe today? you matter so much

Sian321 · June 27

@toffuna101 thank you for these messages. It sounds extremely frustrating and also heartbreaking to keep getting turned away from the kind of support and help that you're craving right now, which is to be admitted to hospital.

How did last night feel? And what is today looking like? Is your Dad able to continue supervising you?

You also mentioned a plan to call your psychiatrist today. That sounds really positive, Toffuna. I hope you're able to get through to them quickly to have that conversation.

We're all thinking of you and are right here by your side.

toffuna101 · June 27

shannon_164 wrote: »

i hear you @toffuna101 and how you’re feeling is valid.

tw// i know someone who tried to end their life over 10 times in one week, ending up in a&e daily, and as soon as she was medically cleared she then got sent home even though she told them what she was gonna do once she left the hospital and they didn’t listen to her, she then left and again tried to end her life to be brought back to a&e. she had helplines involving emergency services and police putting her on section 136 to just be discharged and left with no support. she did finally end up being sectioned, but after 4 days, she was discharged again. it really is so hard to get inpatient care in the uk unfortunately:(

we really do hear how much you’re struggling right now and you’re doing really well to reach out for support, we’re so proud of you for that! are you feeling safe today? you matter so much

thats really bad that they tried to end their life over 10 times in one week then to not get any support. in my case im getting community camhs support but i feel that its not enough. i dont know if im feeling safe today. ARC Rapid Response are supposed to come over today in like 15 minutes so i guess im waiting for them. my dad's at work so he cant supervise me.

Sian321 wrote: »

@toffuna101 thank you for these messages. It sounds extremely frustrating and also heartbreaking to keep getting turned away from the kind of support and help that you're craving right now, which is to be admitted to hospital.

How did last night feel? And what is today looking like? Is your Dad able to continue supervising you?

You also mentioned a plan to call your psychiatrist today. That sounds really positive, Toffuna. I hope you're able to get through to them quickly to have that conversation.

We're all thinking of you and are right here by your side.

i was just so tired that i fell asleep. my dad cant supervise me since hes busy at work so im stuck. i called my care coordinator instead but i wasnt able to get through to him instantly. i need to talk to him as well about something important.

toffuna101 · June 27

i swear to god if i end up dead then my parents are going to sue the nhs

eylah · June 27

if you’re in crisis or needing immediate support pls contact childline nhs 111 option 2 or call 999 and ask for an ambulance. there is also papryus which you can txt and there’s shout. theres samaritans too. we can’t help you unfortunately if you’re needing immediate support but pls reach out.

shannon_164 · June 27

i hear you @toffuna101 - i’m glad you’re getting some support from camhs, even if you don’t feel like it’s enough - you’re so deserving of support!

how are you feeling about them coming soon? do you feel able to tell them that you’re unsure if you’re feeling safe today?

it’s really good that you tried to speak to your care coordinator, i know that likely wasn’t easy to do so i’m really proud of you for that - do you think you will be able to get in contact with them at some point today?

eylah · June 27

how are you doing @toffuna101 ? sending my love to you

.

toffuna101 · June 27

shannon_164 wrote: »

i hear you @toffuna101 - i’m glad you’re getting some support from camhs, even if you don’t feel like it’s enough - you’re so deserving of support!

how are you feeling about them coming soon? do you feel able to tell them that you’re unsure if you’re feeling safe today?

it’s really good that you tried to speak to your care coordinator, i know that likely wasn’t easy to do so i’m really proud of you for that - do you think you will be able to get in contact with them at some point today?

theyre not coming to me, i have to come to them. i forgot to tell them that. i already did get in contact with them.

eylah wrote: »

how are you doing @toffuna101 ? sending my love to you .

im feeling slightly better now. i had mcdonald's. i ordered a mcspicy for the first time and it tasted good. they got my drink wrong so i had to get my carer to change it to the right one.

shannon_164 · June 27

ah @toffuna101, i thought you’d said earlier that they were coming over! how did it go with them? if you want to share ofc, no pressure

eylah · June 27

hey @toffuna101 how did it go with them? i hope it went well. what do you have planned for the rest of the evening?

toffuna101 · June 27

shannon_164 wrote: »

ah @toffuna101, i thought you’d said earlier that they were coming over! how did it go with them? if you want to share ofc, no pressure

eylah wrote: »

hey @toffuna101 how did it go with them? i hope it went well. what do you have planned for the rest of the evening?

they said that i have to engage within tier 3 camhs in order to go to a psychiatric hospital or at least have the home treatment team again. nothing much, just chilling.

shannon_164 · June 27

how are you feeling about what they’ve suggested @toffuna101 - you’re so deserving of support!

toffuna101 · June 27

shannon_164 wrote: »

how are you feeling about what they’ve suggested @toffuna101 - you’re so deserving of support!

well i dont know how i feel. theyre asking me to go to a different town which is far away for my appointments and my parents refuse to take me.

Leyla · June 27

Hey Toffuna, thank you for reaching out, we've sent you a DM so we can check in with everything, but we want you to know that the Community hears how much you're struggling right now and we appreciate your honestly and updating this post with everything going on. Thank you for reaching out!

(If you saw this before then sorry, posted on the wrong account!)

toffuna101 · June 27

Leyla wrote: »

Hey Toffuna, thank you for reaching out, we've sent you a DM so we can check in with everything, but we want you to know that the Community hears how much you're struggling right now and we appreciate your honestly and updating this post with everything going on. Thank you for reaching out!

(If you saw this before then sorry, posted on the wrong account!)

thanks for sending me a dm.

eylah · June 27

how are you now?

toffuna101 · June 27

eylah wrote: »

how are you now?

im coping

Sian321 · 11:03AM

Hi @toffuna101 , thank you so much for these posts. We're all here for you as your Community. You're doing so well to reach out for support.

Just a reminder, if at any point you do feel unsafe or unable to cope, you can reach out for 1:1 support via these spaces, as here on Boards we're not able to safely or practically support you through crisis moments but wouldn't ever want you to have to go through that alone:

Emergency services - 999, visit your local A&E
Samaritans - https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
Papyrus - https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
CALM - https://www.thecalmzone.net/
SHOUT 24/7 Text service - https://giveusashout.org/
Childline (18 and under only) - https://www.childline.org.uk/
Switchboard (LGBTQIA+) - https://switchboard.lgbt/

For emotional support, however, we are absolutely here! You said your parents mentioned that they won't drive you to the new mental health team appointments - that sounds really hard. I wonder if your MH team are aware that your parents have said this, or that there might be a barrier for you being able to attend?

I can imagine the last few days might have felt exhausting, and really hope that today there can be even little pockets of rest or comfort. I remember you saying you like Plushies. Look at this ginormous plushy in the window of an Edinburgh shop right now! -

toffuna101 · 12:01PM

thanks for providing me with the links. dont worry, my dad finally agreed that hes going to take me to that town on tuesday for my camhs appointment so i have that sorted out now. and the plushies look so cute!!

Sian321 · 12:45PM

That's really positive to hear that you'll be able to attend the appointment now on Tuesday @toffuna101 . We'll be thinking of you that day and will be here to chat before and afterwards if you wish.

toffuna101 · 12:53PM

Sian321 wrote: »

That's really positive to hear that you'll be able to attend the appointment now on Tuesday @toffuna101 . We'll be thinking of you that day and will be here to chat before and afterwards if you wish.

thank you

toffuna101 · 3:37PM

the suicidal thoughts are back but im managing them well. im safe and i can cope.

shannon_164 · 3:44PM

i’m glad that you’re feeling safe and able to cope at the moment @toffuna101 but remember there is support out there if you need it, and we’re always here too ofc!

i’m just gonna add some support options here in case you need:

if you’re feeling unsafe pls reach out for immediate support from the following:
nhs 111 - england / scotland / wales (option 2 for mental health)

phone first - northern ireland (8am-6pm monday-friday; the number will vary depending on the health & social care trust area that you live in)

out of hours - northern ireland (6pm-7:30am monday-friday, 24/7 weekends; the number will vary depending on the health & social care trust area that you live in)

999 - england / scotland / wales / northern ireland

uk helplines - some of these are specific to england / scotland / wales / northern ireland & also depend on age too:
childline (24/7) - call 08001111

shout (24/7) - text ‘shout’ to 85258

hopeline (24/7) - text 88247

samaritans (24/7) - call 116123

lifeline (24/7) - call 08088088000

papyrus (24/7) - call 08000684141

inspire wellbeing (24/7) - call 08081890036

community advice and listening line (24/7) - call 0800132737

knus (24/7) - whatsapp 07700165687

mind (9am-6pm) - call 03001233393

rethink mental illness (9:30am-4pm) - call 03005000927

kooth (12pm-10pm) - webchat on website

saneline (4pm-10pm) - call 03003047000

calm (5pm-12am) - call 0800585858

suicide prevention uk (6pm-12am) - call 08005870800

kelly’s heroes (6pm-11pm) - webchat on website

sos (8pm-

if you’re feeling unsafe pls reach out for immediate support from the following:
nhs 111 - england / scotland / wales (option 2 for mental health)

phone first - northern ireland (8am-6pm monday-friday; the number will vary depending on the health & social care trust area that you live in)

out of hours - northern ireland (6pm-7:30am monday-friday, 24/7 weekends; the number will vary depending on the health & social care trust area that you live in)

999 - england / scotland / wales / northern ireland

uk helplines - some of these are specific to england / scotland / wales / northern ireland & also depend on age too:
childline (24/7) - call 08001111

shout (24/7) - text ‘shout’ to 85258

hopeline (24/7) - text 88247

samaritans (24/7) - call 116123

lifeline (24/7) - call 08088088000

papyrus (24/7) - call 08000684141

inspire wellbeing (24/7) - call 08081890036

community advice and listening line (24/7) - call 0800132737

knus (24/7) - whatsapp 07700165687

mind (9am-6pm) - call 03001233393

rethink mental illness (9:30am-4pm) - call 03005000927

kooth (12pm-10pm) - webchat on website

saneline (4pm-10pm) - call 03003047000

calm (5pm-12am) - call 0800585858

suicide prevention uk (6pm-12am) - call 08005870800

kelly’s heroes (6pm-11pm) - webchat on website

sos (8pm-12am) - call 08001151505

you’ve got this

tw - suicide attempt

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