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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition)

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  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 1,716 Extreme Poster
    eylah wrote: »
    scared for surgery next monday bc they said i might need to stay in bc after my general anaesthetic i need someone to be with me 24 hours after but i have noone. i cant stay in bc of what happened to my mum. :(

    @eylah so, if you reach out to the hospital, they might be able to recommend home health care services for afterwards. And you did so great going today, i'm gonna be here for you as much as i can, and i know it's not the same as having somebody with you, but i can help you to find somebody who can be. There could be community support, there could be temporary caregivers, or all sorts
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 1,716 Extreme Poster
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    tw - suicide
    i want to die so badly and its not my voice (aka gertrude) who is pushing me to die this time its me. my dad and ARC Rapid Response thinks its gertrude but its in fact me. but i know my survival instincts will force me to live so i might as well just mask my feelings with a smile.

    @toffuna101 don't mask it or hide it. it will be exhausting and can make things worse. I'm so sorry your battling with this all, and for it to have come from you and not your voices must be especially terrifying. I'm here for you, and sending a hug if your okay with it.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,655 Legendary Poster
    DonnerKebab wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    scared for surgery next monday bc they said i might need to stay in bc after my general anaesthetic i need someone to be with me 24 hours after but i have noone. i cant stay in bc of what happened to my mum. :(

    @eylah so, if you reach out to the hospital, they might be able to recommend home health care services for afterwards. And you did so great going today, i'm gonna be here for you as much as i can, and i know it's not the same as having somebody with you, but i can help you to find somebody who can be. There could be community support, there could be temporary caregivers, or all sorts

    i have 0 help outside of this community so asking for ppl to stay with me is impossible. and the hospital have already said there’s noone that can stay with me. and it’s so far from home travelling back on public transport after surgery is just impossible. but i find out on wednesday anyway.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,655 Legendary Poster
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    tw - suicide
    i want to die so badly and its not my voice (aka gertrude) who is pushing me to die this time its me. my dad and ARC Rapid Response thinks its gertrude but its in fact me. but i know my survival instincts will force me to live so i might as well just mask my feelings with a smile.

    are you feeling safe rn?
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,136 Boards Guru
    DonnerKebab wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    tw - suicide
    i want to die so badly and its not my voice (aka gertrude) who is pushing me to die this time its me. my dad and ARC Rapid Response thinks its gertrude but its in fact me. but i know my survival instincts will force me to live so i might as well just mask my feelings with a smile.

    @toffuna101 don't mask it or hide it. it will be exhausting and can make things worse. I'm so sorry your battling with this all, and for it to have come from you and not your voices must be especially terrifying. I'm here for you, and sending a hug if your okay with it.

    thank you
    tw - suicide attempt
    i just had my second suicide attempt. i wont tell you all how i did it but it was scary.
    eylah wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    tw - suicide
    i want to die so badly and its not my voice (aka gertrude) who is pushing me to die this time its me. my dad and ARC Rapid Response thinks its gertrude but its in fact me. but i know my survival instincts will force me to live so i might as well just mask my feelings with a smile.

    are you feeling safe rn?

    im safe now, i wasnt feeling safe before but i called my dad and he made the atmosphere safe so that i wouldnt have another sucide attempt.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,655 Legendary Poster
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    DonnerKebab wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    tw - suicide
    i want to die so badly and its not my voice (aka gertrude) who is pushing me to die this time its me. my dad and ARC Rapid Response thinks its gertrude but its in fact me. but i know my survival instincts will force me to live so i might as well just mask my feelings with a smile.

    @toffuna101 don't mask it or hide it. it will be exhausting and can make things worse. I'm so sorry your battling with this all, and for it to have come from you and not your voices must be especially terrifying. I'm here for you, and sending a hug if your okay with it.

    thank you
    tw - suicide attempt
    i just had my second suicide attempt. i wont tell you all how i did it but it was scary.
    eylah wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    tw - suicide
    i want to die so badly and its not my voice (aka gertrude) who is pushing me to die this time its me. my dad and ARC Rapid Response thinks its gertrude but its in fact me. but i know my survival instincts will force me to live so i might as well just mask my feelings with a smile.

    are you feeling safe rn?

    im safe now, i wasnt feeling safe before but i called my dad and he made the atmosphere safe so that i wouldnt have another sucide attempt.

    if you’ve harmed yourself you need to call 999 and request an ambulance we’re not able to support you if you’re in active crisis.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,655 Legendary Poster
    if you’ve harmed yourself you need to get yourself to a&e or reach out to a healthcare professional.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,801 The Mix Elder
    @toffuna101 please tell an adult and go to A&E or call an ambulance so you can get the help you need a deserve: @eylah is right we can’t support you if you’ve made an attempt on your life/ planning one

    Crisis support: https://community.themix.org.uk/discussion/3597021/need-support-urgently
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 1,716 Extreme Poster
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    DonnerKebab wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    tw - suicide
    i want to die so badly and its not my voice (aka gertrude) who is pushing me to die this time its me. my dad and ARC Rapid Response thinks its gertrude but its in fact me. but i know my survival instincts will force me to live so i might as well just mask my feelings with a smile.

    @toffuna101 don't mask it or hide it. it will be exhausting and can make things worse. I'm so sorry your battling with this all, and for it to have come from you and not your voices must be especially terrifying. I'm here for you, and sending a hug if your okay with it.

    thank you
    tw - suicide attempt
    i just had my second suicide attempt. i wont tell you all how i did it but it was scary.
    eylah wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    tw - suicide
    i want to die so badly and its not my voice (aka gertrude) who is pushing me to die this time its me. my dad and ARC Rapid Response thinks its gertrude but its in fact me. but i know my survival instincts will force me to live so i might as well just mask my feelings with a smile.

    are you feeling safe rn?

    im safe now, i wasnt feeling safe before but i called my dad and he made the atmosphere safe so that i wouldnt have another sucide attempt.

    @toffuna101 eylah is right. You need to go to A&E, even if your feeling safe now. I don't know how you tried it, but some stuff can have delayed reactions. So get yourself there, and get yourself seen too. It's the safest option, and they will hopefully see the severity and realise ARC hasn't worked for you and take the next steps. I'm glad you feel safe now, but still go, and be seen to, and they will do more for you and make sure you are 100% safe.

    Masking it, or hoping it will go away won't work, and will just make it worse in the long run. I'm so sorry your going through this, get yourself to A&E now.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 1,716 Extreme Poster
    River wrote: »
    @toffuna101 please tell an adult and go to A&E or call an ambulance so you can get the help you need a deserve: @eylah is right we can’t support you if you’ve made an attempt on your life/ planning one

    Crisis support: https://community.themix.org.uk/discussion/3597021/need-support-urgently

    @toffuna101 River is 100% right. We can offer words of support but not the help you need. A&E will make sure you a physically safe, ensure that anything you did didn't have delayed effects, and will put in place more support than last time and get you help mentally. Your safety is 100% the most important thing right now. If you can't make it on your own currently, ring an ambulance, because this is as severe as any other medical emergency.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,655 Legendary Poster
    @toffuna101 how are you doing? did you get medical help? here for you <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 1,716 Extreme Poster
    @toffuna101 i just want to check in and see that your doing okay. I know it's been brutal for you and you've gone through such agony. When we said can't support you, it's only when your having a mental health emergency and are in urgent need of emergency services, so please don't feel like if you've gotten support, we're not here for you, it's just your safety comes first and getting that emergency intervention from professionals must always come first.

    Once you've gotten the help you deserve, we're here for you. You are a gem of a human being, and i wish you the best. I understand if you've been sectioned and can't come on here and see this, but just incase not, keep yourself safe and don't feel like your not welcome.
  • KatieKatie Community Manager Posts: 1,114 Wise Owl
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    im safe now, i wasnt feeling safe before but i called my dad and he made the atmosphere safe so that i wouldnt have another sucide attempt.
    Hey @toffuna101 how are you feeling today? Yesterday sounds like it was pretty heavy and scary. I hear you was able to call your dad who helped you feel safe. Are you still feeling safe today?

    Have you also been able to receive any medical attention since yesterday?
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,901 The Mix Elder
    @toffuna101 I'm glad you're safe now, sorry things have been hard for you, please please reach out if you are unsafe, we all care about you and you absolutely matter. I'm also sorry I wasn't here when you were struggling this much. Please always keep safe.
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,136 Boards Guru
    Katie wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    im safe now, i wasnt feeling safe before but i called my dad and he made the atmosphere safe so that i wouldnt have another sucide attempt.
    Hey @toffuna101 how are you feeling today? Yesterday sounds like it was pretty heavy and scary. I hear you was able to call your dad who helped you feel safe. Are you still feeling safe today?

    Have you also been able to receive any medical attention since yesterday?

    yes im safe. i didnt receive any medical attention. im physically fine.
    Redemption wrote: »
    @toffuna101 I'm glad you're safe now, sorry things have been hard for you, please please reach out if you are unsafe, we all care about you and you absolutely matter. I'm also sorry I wasn't here when you were struggling this much. Please always keep safe.

    its ok. i have no idea what i was thinking yesterday.
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,136 Boards Guru
    eylah wrote: »
    @toffuna101 how are you doing? did you get medical help? here for you <3

    im physically fine dw @eylah <3 i didnt need to have any medical attention.
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,136 Boards Guru
    im gonna make a separate post about this because i simply cant answer everyone's posts.
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,136 Boards Guru
    im pissed off right now because camhs discharged me instantly whilst i was in A&E. they said its not within my best interests for me to go inpatient. ill manage to keep myself safe tonight dont worry.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,655 Legendary Poster
    if you feel like you’re at risk pls contact 111 option 2. shout or samaritans bc we can’t safely support you in a active crisis. or if it’s a emergency contact 999 and ask for a ambulance. if they think a inpatient stay wont benefit you then that’s a gd thing but i hear you that you’re frustrated abt this. if you have a psychiatrist pls contact them and maybe explain what you’re feeling.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,136 Boards Guru
    eylah wrote: »
    if you feel like you’re at risk pls contact 111 option 2. shout or samaritans bc we can’t safely support you in a active crisis. or if it’s a emergency contact 999 and ask for a ambulance. if they think a inpatient stay wont benefit you then that’s a gd thing but i hear you that you’re frustrated abt this. if you have a psychiatrist pls contact them and maybe explain what you’re feeling.

    i cant call anyone because my parents take away my phone at night right now because i could call the police or some random people in times of crisis. so i have to wait until i get better to use my phone at night. i have a psychiatrist appointment next month so ill tell the psychiatrist everything.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,655 Legendary Poster
    you can txt shout on 85258 or txt papryus on - 88247
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,136 Boards Guru
    eylah wrote: »
    you can txt shout on 85258 or txt papryus on - 88247

    can i text them on my computer?
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,136 Boards Guru
    im also in the queue to talk to a childline counsellor on a 1-2-1 chat
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,655 Legendary Poster
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    you can txt shout on 85258 or txt papryus on - 88247

    can i text them on my computer?

    i don’t think so.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,655 Legendary Poster
    papyrus web chat is available rn
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,136 Boards Guru
    eylah wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    you can txt shout on 85258 or txt papryus on - 88247

    can i text them on my computer?

    i don’t think so.

    ok. i guess childline could work for now then
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,136 Boards Guru
    eylah wrote: »
    papyrus web chat is available rn

    ill make sure to check that out then
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,655 Legendary Poster
    yes or childline. sry im trying to find ways that you can access help. you can email samaritans but you will have to wait a while to get a response.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,136 Boards Guru
    eylah wrote: »
    yes or childline. sry im trying to find ways that you can access help. you can email samaritans but you will have to wait a while to get a response.

    yeah.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 1,716 Extreme Poster
    edited June 25
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    if you feel like you’re at risk pls contact 111 option 2. shout or samaritans bc we can’t safely support you in a active crisis. or if it’s a emergency contact 999 and ask for a ambulance. if they think a inpatient stay wont benefit you then that’s a gd thing but i hear you that you’re frustrated abt this. if you have a psychiatrist pls contact them and maybe explain what you’re feeling.

    i cant call anyone because my parents take away my phone at night right now because i could call the police or some random people in times of crisis. so i have to wait until i get better to use my phone at night. i have a psychiatrist appointment next month so ill tell the psychiatrist everything.

    @toffuna101 A month is a very long time to wait given the circumstances. Just make sure you tell helplines you reach out to, everything, and if you ever need to go to A&E because your life is at risk, and can't contact emergency services via phone, contact 111 online or contact a helpline and they'll contact emergency services for you. It may also be worth dropping an email to the psychiatrist for possible advice or help.
This discussion has been closed.