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Happy Heavenly Birthday 🕊️

Dear Grandma,
It’s your birthday, you would have been 80 if you hadn’t been taken away from this world so soon 💔 I’ve been thinking about you so much today, and I wish more than anything that I could sit next to you and just talk like we used to. I miss you. I miss your love, your hugs, your soft silky hands and the way you made everything feel safe just by being there.
You were my safe person and my best friend. No one else has ever made me feel as seen, or as understood as you did. Sometimes I still catch myself wanting to tell you little things, It still pops into my head “I’m going to tell grandma when I see her” I just want to sit down with you and have one of our mini gossip sessions just like old times.
So much changed since you left and it never gets easier, I never stopped internally screaming and each day gets harder and harder, you’ve been an angel for 180 days 🥺 you were the only person to ask if I was comfortable with hugs and you were the only person I’d accept hugs from because they were always the kindest of hugs. I’d do anything for one last hug 😭
You never leave my mind, I always think about your grave, I wish I could just sit there for hours talking to you, I know It’s not the same as a proper conversation but maybe you listen to me when I speak to you.
Everyone is going up to the cemetery to see you: mum is taking auntie J to see you for the first time and I think I might go up too, then mum, grandad, the boys, aunty N and uncle J are going to, I think J’s new girlfriend will be there, she seems nice I suppose, I’m not sure I’ll go up then, you know how I feel about family gatherings but I will definitely go and see you that’s a promise 💕
In the evening, everyone is having a Chinese for dinner, your probably thinking no surprise there, I won’t have it though, it makes me feel uneasy
You always said you had a favourite hair style on me so I decided that tomorrow I will do that hairstyle for you and then if your looking over me then you can see it 💕
I miss you so much and I wish you were here but your the prettiest angel in the sky and always will be 💕
I found an old picture of us both from when I was younger, before you got too poorly to come to our house, I’ll put the picture below incase you can see it 💕
Here’s a video I made for your birthday to, I hope you like it https://streamable.com/44f4zk
Love you always
- H
It’s your birthday, you would have been 80 if you hadn’t been taken away from this world so soon 💔 I’ve been thinking about you so much today, and I wish more than anything that I could sit next to you and just talk like we used to. I miss you. I miss your love, your hugs, your soft silky hands and the way you made everything feel safe just by being there.
You were my safe person and my best friend. No one else has ever made me feel as seen, or as understood as you did. Sometimes I still catch myself wanting to tell you little things, It still pops into my head “I’m going to tell grandma when I see her” I just want to sit down with you and have one of our mini gossip sessions just like old times.
So much changed since you left and it never gets easier, I never stopped internally screaming and each day gets harder and harder, you’ve been an angel for 180 days 🥺 you were the only person to ask if I was comfortable with hugs and you were the only person I’d accept hugs from because they were always the kindest of hugs. I’d do anything for one last hug 😭
You never leave my mind, I always think about your grave, I wish I could just sit there for hours talking to you, I know It’s not the same as a proper conversation but maybe you listen to me when I speak to you.
Everyone is going up to the cemetery to see you: mum is taking auntie J to see you for the first time and I think I might go up too, then mum, grandad, the boys, aunty N and uncle J are going to, I think J’s new girlfriend will be there, she seems nice I suppose, I’m not sure I’ll go up then, you know how I feel about family gatherings but I will definitely go and see you that’s a promise 💕
In the evening, everyone is having a Chinese for dinner, your probably thinking no surprise there, I won’t have it though, it makes me feel uneasy
You always said you had a favourite hair style on me so I decided that tomorrow I will do that hairstyle for you and then if your looking over me then you can see it 💕
I miss you so much and I wish you were here but your the prettiest angel in the sky and always will be 💕
I found an old picture of us both from when I was younger, before you got too poorly to come to our house, I’ll put the picture below incase you can see it 💕
Here’s a video I made for your birthday to, I hope you like it https://streamable.com/44f4zk
Love you always
- H

Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
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