Home› Home, Law & Money
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.

Argument with uncle

RedemptionRedemption Posts: 3,823 Community Veteran
edited April 24 in Home, Law & Money
Today, I had another argument with my uncle because I wanted to go and collect a car vacuum cleaner I ordered. I just said, “Could we go and collect it now?” and he started shouting at me, making threats and having a tantrum not crying or screaming, just shouting and being aggressive over something so small like all that just over asking to get something. What happened today is kind of the typical thing that can happen at home like I can come back from something that's supposed to boost my confidence then things like this can happen where it's most of the time unprovoked and it can put me back.


TW Mentions of physical assault
A few years ago, this was just before covid he even punched me in the mouth when I was learning to drive just for going into manual mode in an automatic car. So I snapped the badge off his car a few weeks later in retaliation. He did apoligise and it was before covid like a month or 2 before so 5 plus years ago now and I think he was stressed out at the time.


He’s not right in the head. It’s aggressive behaviour, and he should have been locked up years ago. I do think sometimes, what’s it going to take? Like, what does he think he’s playing at? He does it to random people too. If he carries on, like this, one way or another like last time, he’ll pay. Im safe, he doesn't get physical but he just shouts like maybe if he's in a bad mood he'll lash out.
Post edited by Redemption on

Comments

  • AzzimanAzziman Discussion Boards Moderator, Community Connector Posts: 2,246 Boards Champion
    edited April 26
    Hey @Redemption, I'm sorry to hear what you've experienced. You asked a reasonable question, and were given a completely disproportionately aggressive response. It's concerning that this is typical behaviour, and it sounds like this is something that can knock you back. Feeling safe is important, and it sounds like this is something that isn't restricted to the privacy of home either. Of course, everyone can go through stress in life, and people have different approaches to dealing with it - that doesn't excuse acting in this manner towards you or anyone else though. How are you feeling? Are you alright? We're here to listen to you.
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • RedemptionRedemption Posts: 3,823 Community Veteran
    Azziman wrote: »
    Hey @Redemption, I'm sorry to hear what you've experienced. You asked a reasonable question, and were given a completely disproportionately aggressive response. It's concerning that this is typical behaviour, and it sounds like this is something that can knock you back. Feeling safe is important, and it sounds like this is something that isn't restricted to the privacy of home either. Of course, everyone can go through stress in life, and people have different approaches to dealing with it - that doesn't excuse acting in this manner towards you or anyone else though. How are you feeling? Are you alright? We're here to listen to you.

    @Azziman thanks so much for replying again and asking here checking up on me, I have all my unanswered threads answered now. I'm feeling ok now, I hope you are good too. Sometimes it can be helpful to take a break from people and then taking some time to kind of reset before reconnecting to that person again. I'm alright though, cheers.
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 1,094 Wise Owl
    Hi @Redemption , thank you so much for sharing about this. It sounds really hard to have to navigate his aggressive and unpredicatble behaviour like this, and I hear you saying it effects your own mental wellbeing too.

    I'd like to echo Azziman's question and to ask how safe you're feeling at the moment when you're around your uncle? Are there moments where you feel more safe, or less safe? I wonder whether anyone else in your life is aware that he can become aggressive towards you sometimes?

    I will share below some organisations that you may wish to reach out to for further support if ever you do need. No one has a right to make you feel unsafe:
    Is This Ok? Is an organisation that supports young people with anything you are worrying about or finding difficult covering a wide range of topics. If it is something you feel like you can't speak to anyone else about, they are there for you. They can also support you if you are worried that someone else is being badly treated or abused. They have a chatbot which can support you with advice and information 24/7. Is This Ok? use a chat-bot as an easy way of identifying the support you need. The chat-bot will be able to give you advice and information 24/7. You will then have the option to be transferred through to a trained chat advisor who will be able to listen and provide non-judgemental support. Their specialist advisers are available to chat to from 2:30pm-9:30pm Monday to Thursday and 4pm-11pm Friday, Saturday and Sunday. They are a completely anonymous service and won't ask you for any personal information. They are a service mainly for 13-18 year olds, but if you are slightly older than this and present an issue that they can support with, they will try and help. Their website is https://www.isthisok.org.uk/

    There is an organisation called Family Lives which offers information, advice, guidance and support on any aspect of parenting and family life, including bullying. You can call them at 0808 800 2222 on Monday to Friday 9am-9pm and Saturday to Sunday 10am-3pm. They also run an online forum and have a webchat service on their website: www.familylives.org.uk open on weekdays 1:30pm - 9pm. You can also email askus@familylives.org.uk

    ManKind provides help and support to male victims of domestic abuse and violence. They provide an information, support and signposting service to men suffering from domestic abuse from their current or former partner. Their confidential helpline is open weekdays 10am-4pm on 01823 334244 and they also offer a freephone that doesn’t show on your bills on 0808 800 1170. You can find out more on their website https://www.mankind.org.uk/
  • RedemptionRedemption Posts: 3,823 Community Veteran
    Sian321 wrote: »
    Hi @Redemption , thank you so much for sharing about this. It sounds really hard to have to navigate his aggressive and unpredicatble behaviour like this, and I hear you saying it effects your own mental wellbeing too.

    I'd like to echo Azziman's question and to ask how safe you're feeling at the moment when you're around your uncle? Are there moments where you feel more safe, or less safe? I wonder whether anyone else in your life is aware that he can become aggressive towards you sometimes?

    I will share below some organisations that you may wish to reach out to for further support if ever you do need. No one has a right to make you feel unsafe:
    Is This Ok? Is an organisation that supports young people with anything you are worrying about or finding difficult covering a wide range of topics. If it is something you feel like you can't speak to anyone else about, they are there for you. They can also support you if you are worried that someone else is being badly treated or abused. They have a chatbot which can support you with advice and information 24/7. Is This Ok? use a chat-bot as an easy way of identifying the support you need. The chat-bot will be able to give you advice and information 24/7. You will then have the option to be transferred through to a trained chat advisor who will be able to listen and provide non-judgemental support. Their specialist advisers are available to chat to from 2:30pm-9:30pm Monday to Thursday and 4pm-11pm Friday, Saturday and Sunday. They are a completely anonymous service and won't ask you for any personal information. They are a service mainly for 13-18 year olds, but if you are slightly older than this and present an issue that they can support with, they will try and help. Their website is https://www.isthisok.org.uk/

    There is an organisation called Family Lives which offers information, advice, guidance and support on any aspect of parenting and family life, including bullying. You can call them at 0808 800 2222 on Monday to Friday 9am-9pm and Saturday to Sunday 10am-3pm. They also run an online forum and have a webchat service on their website: www.familylives.org.uk open on weekdays 1:30pm - 9pm. You can also email askus@familylives.org.uk

    ManKind provides help and support to male victims of domestic abuse and violence. They provide an information, support and signposting service to men suffering from domestic abuse from their current or former partner. Their confidential helpline is open weekdays 10am-4pm on 01823 334244 and they also offer a freephone that doesn’t show on your bills on 0808 800 1170. You can find out more on their website https://www.mankind.org.uk/

    Hey @Sian321 I appreciate everything you said as always. For your questions there's no concerns about being unsafe but I do appreciate the helplines. All it is, is a bit of shouting and he did punch me in the mouth but it was 5 years ago now and he fully apologised he's not done anything physical like that recently.
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 1,094 Wise Owl
    Hi @Redemption , I hear you. Thank you for confirming that right now you do feel physically safe., To be shouted at and punched sounds like it could have felt extreamly hard, and we're here to support you and to listen should ever you wish.

    Dayto-day, how do things feel at home with family, and I wonder whether there tend to be any moments where things feel better or worse?
  • RedemptionRedemption Posts: 3,823 Community Veteran
    edited 10:45AM
    Sian321 wrote: »
    Hi @Redemption , I hear you. Thank you for confirming that right now you do feel physically safe., To be shouted at and punched sounds like it could have felt extreamly hard, and we're here to support you and to listen should ever you wish.

    Dayto-day, how do things feel at home with family, and I wonder whether there tend to be any moments where things feel better or worse?

    @Sian321 being shouted at definitely not fun being shouted at or getting assaulted I remember that time so well I remember teachers at college clocked on to me telling my friend about it and they were going to get social services involved but I said leave it its all in hand. Can I ask what would happen I was unsafe here? I'm safe but just wondering.


    It's definitely a bit hectic at home at times sometimes worse and better at times with other family members not just my uncle but not unsafe. Thanks so much for the replies
Sign In or Register to comment.