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Should I tell my GP or the nurse what's going on?
Lottie5433
Posts: 698 Incredible Poster
Idk why I'm even writing this coz I think in the back of my mind i know what i should do but I almost just dont want to do it.
Anyways, ive mentioned it and few times that I have to see the ED health nurse every month pretty much even though im discharged from the service.
During these appointments I have to have my weight checked 🤮, blood pressure stood up and sat down, then have my heart rate and O2 levels looked at, finally we do bloods (i dont mind this but it takes a few attempts at times, im also weird that i like seeing it/the pain when trying to find a vein) - although during all of these i dont like that she see my SH.
Now to cut to the chase, i am seeing Nurse J on Wednesday and i dont know if I tell her what been happening: like she knows about the not eating (when at work), purging and the SH/SI. But here's what I dont know if I want to bring up, the physical symptoms
Nurse J has told me previously that the team have said to contact them if I get any of these symptoms
However this is the bit I don't know i mention. For the last few days/week my heart rate has been dropping below range and staying there for 10 minutes or more. I know I shouldnt use "dr google" but its making me think the worst about it. Like this has happened before and I've not mentioned it because it settled but my parents were trying to push me to tell someone because in the family there are underlying heart issues mainly on the maternal side.
I just dont know what i should do
I dont want to do this anymore
Wish the mental health team didn't pick up of my relationship with food
I'm just internally screaming about everything.
Maybe i will cancel it and hope it all settles like it usually does
Anyways again idk why I made this, not really looking for advice or anything, just needed to get it out in a way
Anyways, ive mentioned it and few times that I have to see the ED health nurse every month pretty much even though im discharged from the service.
During these appointments I have to have my weight checked 🤮, blood pressure stood up and sat down, then have my heart rate and O2 levels looked at, finally we do bloods (i dont mind this but it takes a few attempts at times, im also weird that i like seeing it/the pain when trying to find a vein) - although during all of these i dont like that she see my SH.
Now to cut to the chase, i am seeing Nurse J on Wednesday and i dont know if I tell her what been happening: like she knows about the not eating (when at work), purging and the SH/SI. But here's what I dont know if I want to bring up, the physical symptoms
- dizziness - especially when getting up
- light-headedness
- palpitation
- constantly cold
- in pain - stabbing/cramping pain
- muscle sorness/weakness
- heart rate issues - bradycardia?
Nurse J has told me previously that the team have said to contact them if I get any of these symptoms
Palpitations, cramps in arms and legs, tingling sensations or numbness or feeling generally unwell with weakness/tiredness.
as these are almost tale-tale-signs of low potassium and need my blood checked like asap so I can have supplements of potassium so i dont cause permentant damage.However this is the bit I don't know i mention. For the last few days/week my heart rate has been dropping below range and staying there for 10 minutes or more. I know I shouldnt use "dr google" but its making me think the worst about it. Like this has happened before and I've not mentioned it because it settled but my parents were trying to push me to tell someone because in the family there are underlying heart issues mainly on the maternal side.
I just dont know what i should do
- do i email and tell her this
- she will just try to get me in earlier (physically can't with work though)
- do i push it aside and sweep it under the rug
- should I mention it to my GP (on my record it says I'm due for an ECG) and im due to see them for a med review in 2 weeks
- can I just cancel it all together and pretend it doesn't exist
I dont want to do this anymore
Wish the mental health team didn't pick up of my relationship with food
I'm just internally screaming about everything.
Maybe i will cancel it and hope it all settles like it usually does
Anyways again idk why I made this, not really looking for advice or anything, just needed to get it out in a way
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Comments
I know how much you are debating this. It seems as if there's things in placee for you by having these checks to allow then to review and check how things are for you but at the same time you are feeling overwhelmed by it all. Am I right in understanding that yoy feel the less you'll disclose and "pretend things,are okay" the less apots that will then happen avoiding this overwhelm and constant checks? But also because your wiry if what next and that your less deserving. Firstly though you deserve support like everyone else!! You matter.
Please don't turn these people away, they are there to help you and I do think you have a good relationship with nurse and the ladt I messaged you the gp was okay as well, so pleas try not to turn them away, let thrm support you.
These symptoms your having, while it could be they go away as you feel like they may goubg by past, it's slwayd best to be open with then. What the symptoms you experiencing cannot be pleasant and so nebtion to get the support you need to aid in these symptoms getting better treated leaving it could create more discomfort which neither you or we want and impact on work and you life- which is important to you!
Know we care and you deserve support!!, 💛
I am feeling overwhelmed by it all, but you are right I'm hoping if I pretend I'm okay/everything's okay, there will be less appointments - i can't be taking time off work just to go for a 20 minute appointment each week/month, not with the potential of having therapy again too for a separate issue.
You are right I do have a good relationship with the Nurse and my GP is okay - although is making me have a medication review in the next week or 2 😞
The symptoms aren't pleasant at times but i don't want to open up about them because it might mean more appointments or follow ups and I can't be dealing with that.
- Thank you for this i need this at times ❤️
I really want to echo what @Invisible_me has said here - that letting your healthcare team support you through this could be really powerful and important, though I hear just how daunting and overwhelming it is, esspecially when there are so many appointments to navigate. I can imagine its really tiring, having to go into anxiety-inducing situations over and over again. And you deserve a healthcare team who are mindful of this and who do all they can to help you feel safe and in control.
It sounds like you're noticing some real changes in your physical health, such as longer drops in your heartrate as well as your potassium levels, and your family also have underlying heart issues. I can imagine that feeling frightening, perhaps? Although I can hear too just how conflicting it is when another part of you really just wants for all of these concerns to go away and to be able to sweep it under the rug. I just wonder if postponing getting help could make the symptoms stronger and longer-lasting. Perhaps if Nurse J knows what you're going through, support can be given earlier on so that you can start feeling better sooner. And its so valid that this process might feel really scary or vulnerable.
You mentioned a few different ways there about how you could tell Nurse J if you did choose to - like sending an email maybe? How do you feel about that?
When you attend the appointments, I wonder if there is anything that helps them feel a tiny bit less overwhelming, for example, perhaps being able to type out your concerns on your phone rather than needing to talk through and explain.
We're all here for you Lottie, and thank you again for this post.
It is tiring going through this all but I've been doing it on and off for about a year anyway (blood tests/checks every 3 months, then weekly for a bit, now monthly again). The appoitments can be slightly anxiety inducing but thats just the "white coat syndrome" and Nurse J is fully aware of how anxious i get in them and does her best to ease it (talking about basically anything)
I am noticing more physical symptoms for now, but i think it's only because im not distracting myself with the gym like I usually do (can't go much due to work and injury). I wouldn't say it's frightening, given the history because I don't mind it in a way, like most people in my family found out about their heart issues later on in life and had no issues. I don't think I should be worried about it because when I had surgery nothing was picked up on and I've been fine it's just an every now and again thing.
So i could email Nurse J however if I do I probably won't get a response till Monday as it's the weekend. so what's the harm in waiting the extra couple days till Wednesday? Like she will just try to get me in earlier however i can't due to work - Monday potentially 10hr shift 9-7, Tuesday 2-7 but in the office on the morning, so only time I can actually go is Wednesday.
In all honesty I don't see a point in emailing her.
Nothing really helps me feel less overwhelmed. I've already started writing thing down thar I feel she should know but its whether or not I take it and actually tell her or if i just leave it at home and "forget" to mention it. Like she will proably realise some of it like the coldness and dizziness, but might just brush that aside anyways.
But yeah thanks agin for the response
I also keep getting the feeling that my heart is beating out my chest, like i can feel every beat and when it goes too fast/misses a beat.
I know i should email Nurse J or at least tell Nurse J about all this on wednesday.
However I'm scared if I email
- she will try seeing me sooner
- get me in for more appointments after
- want to do an ECG on Wednesday or book me for one later on
- she might tell my GP
Like this is ontop of being nervous/scared she will seeMy issue as well is that if my bloods come back normal (as in my potassium is within normal range) then why does it happen?
Yes there is family history of heart issues.
But maybe if I just thibk and believe it's a result of the eating disorder it will make it easier to handle because I know what caused it then.
But if its a genetic thing then that's more that is broken in me.
I hear just how anxiety-inducing it feels telling Nurse J and how you're afraid that things might escalate, however, you are also so deserving of all the support you need to feel safe and okay, and what you describe sounds serious and really hard to be dealing with.
What do you imagine might happen if she were to ask to see you sooner?
The fear of being 'broken' sounds so painful, Lottie, and I really do hear just how much you're dealing with right now one thing on top of another. I can imagine it's overwhelming, and I hear how much you just want to feel okay. Opening up to your healthcare team, however, will allow them to be able to support you through this and to give you some more information about what's happening.
You're doing so, so well talking about this here, Lottie, and I see the courage it takes. We're all right here with you through this.
Hi, i guess the symptoms are intensifying a bit, or I'm just picking up on it more.
Its not really effecting how i feel, like if im wearing my fitbit it makes me anxious especially when in vibrates continously to say my heart rate is low, but now I'm not wearing it im not bothered.
See i dont feel I deserve the support with it, I dont see it to be too serious. Everyone i mention it to especially at work keep telling me I need to get it looked at coz its not normal but I dont want to.
If Nurse J was to ask me to come in sooner I'd have to decline and just stay with my wednesday appointment as I'm working 10hrs Monday and Tuesday I'm working as well. But i feel she would tell my GP or that she will ask to do an ECG which I hate.
I have information on what is happening just based on stuff I have from CCI on heart issues with ED's bit i don't want to tell anyone profesisonal about it
no worries at all @Invisible_me, ive been trying to write things down but im scared to take it with me and show it to her, like i just want to be in and out of the appointment
Umm not sure where to begin, but I know from a previous email that im supposed to look out for signs of low potassium and i guess let you know?
Well, I have been experiencing some of them over the last week or 2. Like ive been having general cramps in my legs and in my body, feeling dizzy when I get up, palpitation at times, occasionally throughout the day my heart rate drops to below 40 and last 10 minutes or more, fatigue/tiredness. I think that all.
Like im not sure what to do because I can't come in earlier for an appointment due to work but felt like I should mention it
Charlotte
In my head I'm going i can't send it till tomorrow if I do send it but then I also dont see much point if I physically can't go for an appointment till Wednesday.
Tbh i just dont want to go anyway
This seems like a good email, @Lottie5433.
I would send it if the main worry of sending this is going earlier then send it Tuesday, that way you'll be seeing her the next day. If you feel you won't send it, see if on your emails there's an option of schedule send so it will send automatically at the selected day time.
I do think though telling her is important. I understand it's hard and your worry of more frequent appts but uts important uoy get your health looked after and things treated sooner.
I havent physically sent it yet, it is just in the cloud scheduled to send at 12:30 today.
i feel so anxious about it because what if she phones me today or emails back about anything in relation to it.
if i wasnt already having issues with my heart, it would be pounding out my check just from pure panic and anxiety about it all.
worst of all if we just stick to the Wednesday appointment she will see my SH that i relapsed with last night due to everything that happened at work.
maybe i should cancel the scheduled email and the appointment itself and see if next week we can do it. but then ill have 2 mental health appointments.
i dont know what to do with anything right now
like this is what she responded with:
Thank you for letting me know,
Would you be able to come in any earlier on Wednesday? I could do 9am if that works for you?
In the meantime if you get any chest pain I would advise you to contact your GP/111/999 as appropriate.
Best wishes
J
but i just dont know what to do.
like i dont want to go let alone go in earlier on the wednesday.
like this is how i want to email her back
Unfortunately i can't come in for 9am on the Wednesday due to work, but can still make it for 12:00
sorry for the inconvenience
Kind regards
Charlotte
part of me is lying because i can go in earlier im just choosing that i dont want to, id rather go gym first before going to the appointment despite how i have been feeling physically.
i just dont know what im doing anymore
Hey @Lottie5433 !
How are you today?
I’m really sorry to hear about you feeling unwell, I do hope you’ll feel better soon! I’ve caught up with what’s been happening for you so far. In terms of the email that your Nurse has sent, how do you feel about it? (Only if you’re comfortable sharing!)
I just want to say, I’m proud of you for getting in touch with your nurse, and to talk about what’s been going on. With your email, it’s completely up to you with when you feel like you can go to see your Nurse, whether if you’re available earlier or not. Please don’t put so much pressure on yourself, especially if it’s only going to make you feel worse
You’re doing so well, Charlotte! We’re proud of you!!
Thank you for the response. I'm feel exhausted today, alot happened yesterday and last night and now im doing a 10hr shift 🙃.
In terms of her email I'm not sure how I feel about it. Like I get why she's telling me to contact 111/999/GP if I experience any chest pains but she knows i hate reaching out to anyone no matter what it is. Im also apprehensive that she might have emailed their duty Dr or my GP to mention all this - like my gp records it says I'm need an ecg but they make me uncomfortable.
I've emailed back now and said I can make it to the original 12pm appointment. I've also wrote notes so hopefully il remember them, if not ive told her the main things.
Thank you again ❤️
Hey @Lottie5433 ,
No worries at all, we’re here for you! 😊 Oh bless you, a 10hr shift! My goodness, I can definitely imagine how exhausted you feel, alongside a lot happening beforehand. I do hope you’ll be able to relax a little and do something nice for yourself. You deserve it! Even if it’s having a hot drink.
That’s understandable, and I can certainly relate with how you feel, when it comes to calling 111/999 or even the GP. It can be very daunting. Again, if comfortable sharing, what puts you off contacting them? I can really understand how hard it can be, personally, I don’t like calling either of them for plenty of reasons too, you’re not alone
I’m sure that if she did contact either professionals, this is to make sure you’re safe and monitored in terms of your physical well-being. This is only for the benefit of you. If she did/does contact them, would they reach out to you?
Oh bless, I’ve have ECG’s before, so understand, they definitely can be. For this ECG, do you think there’s any strategies that could help you with this? When I have them, especially with my last one, I had to think of a happy place, to completely distract me from what’s going on in the present moment. I know this can be hard, and it’s easier said than done, but is there something similar like this, that you might find helpful? Try to remember, it’s a temporary moment that the ECG will last for.
Amazing! Well done for emailing her back, and for writing down notes! That’s ok, talk to her about them when you feel ready and comfortable. But most importantly, please keep yourself safe and try to talk to her about anything that becomes serious. If you do bring your notes, could you write some of those main things that you feel uncomfortable talking about, and just pass this onto her? Would you be open to the idea on passing on those notes at the end of the appointment, and say how you feel (I.e feeling uncomfortable talking about if etc) so she’s aware, just incase she’d like to talk to you later on about this? How would that feel?
Please only answer if you’re comfortable, and you’re doing so well!! Sending my very best to you, Lottie!!
Yeah not suppose to be doing 10hrs but I chose to cover a shift - rather be here than at home though 🙃 it can be exhausting but do this quiet frequently so I'm use to it.
What puts me off contacting anyone is that with my GP they just tell me to fill out their online form - last time it was triaged as emergency but was treated like a routine so don't like them. 999/111 I just feel like I waste their time and it just scares me. Like no-one at iome knows I'm experiencing this so potentially going to hospital or having an ambulance come out is 😬.
I dont know if there is another strategy or alternative to open this access of support easier, ive mentioned things like it before (mainly for my MH) she's just told me to email the team or to phone them even though ive said i can't do calls because they wouldn't judge or anything.
So far i don't think she's told my GP as it usually comes up on the app, but they would likely contact me. In terms of the duty Dr on their teams it's likely to see how to manage it like if I need more appointments to monitor it etc.
I've only had 2 ECG's (one with nurse J and one with my GP practice) both i hated. Mainly because it makes me anxious that they see my SH. Nurse J typically asks about it but doesn't push for answers but still makes me feel awkward because I hate my body and people just seeing it 🤢🤮
I'll try to talk to her, but hoping i can just avoid everything or divert questions/not answer them. I guess that's why I initially emailed so if she is worried she can lead the conversation. I don't know how I feel about passing over the notes and letting her know how I feel. Coz some of the things I've wrote aren't for my ED but about my SH and SI because she usually asks about that - giving her that means she might tell the MH team again and i will get a call off them asking if im safe/can use my safety plan
Thank you again ❤️
Hi @Lottie5433
Well done for emailing nurse J thsy was brave if you and im glad you did this, despite how nervous you are feeling about it! This shows that you can and do want support.
Okay so the response sounds acknowledging and that there's an element of them wanting to support you further hence offer of earlier appt. I understand you dont want to go earlier and reasons for this to be fair there isn't much of a difference between 9am and 12pm so if 12 feels more comfortable for you maybe stick with that , but it could be shes asked if go in earlier that way she may have more time to explore things with you, perhaps.
Work sounds extremely exhausting for you and I hope this went well, but also reach out for support at work if you need it.