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Should I tell my GP or the nurse what's going on?
Lottie5433
Posts: 662 Incredible Poster
Idk why I'm even writing this coz I think in the back of my mind i know what i should do but I almost just dont want to do it.
Anyways, ive mentioned it and few times that I have to see the ED health nurse every month pretty much even though im discharged from the service.
During these appointments I have to have my weight checked 🤮, blood pressure stood up and sat down, then have my heart rate and O2 levels looked at, finally we do bloods (i dont mind this but it takes a few attempts at times, im also weird that i like seeing it/the pain when trying to find a vein) - although during all of these i dont like that she see my SH.
Now to cut to the chase, i am seeing Nurse J on Wednesday and i dont know if I tell her what been happening: like she knows about the not eating (when at work), purging and the SH/SI. But here's what I dont know if I want to bring up, the physical symptoms
Nurse J has told me previously that the team have said to contact them if I get any of these symptoms
However this is the bit I don't know i mention. For the last few days/week my heart rate has been dropping below range and staying there for 10 minutes or more. I know I shouldnt use "dr google" but its making me think the worst about it. Like this has happened before and I've not mentioned it because it settled but my parents were trying to push me to tell someone because in the family there are underlying heart issues mainly on the maternal side.
I just dont know what i should do
I dont want to do this anymore
Wish the mental health team didn't pick up of my relationship with food
I'm just internally screaming about everything.
Maybe i will cancel it and hope it all settles like it usually does
Anyways again idk why I made this, not really looking for advice or anything, just needed to get it out in a way
Anyways, ive mentioned it and few times that I have to see the ED health nurse every month pretty much even though im discharged from the service.
During these appointments I have to have my weight checked 🤮, blood pressure stood up and sat down, then have my heart rate and O2 levels looked at, finally we do bloods (i dont mind this but it takes a few attempts at times, im also weird that i like seeing it/the pain when trying to find a vein) - although during all of these i dont like that she see my SH.
Now to cut to the chase, i am seeing Nurse J on Wednesday and i dont know if I tell her what been happening: like she knows about the not eating (when at work), purging and the SH/SI. But here's what I dont know if I want to bring up, the physical symptoms
- dizziness - especially when getting up
- light-headedness
- palpitation
- constantly cold
- in pain - stabbing/cramping pain
- muscle sorness/weakness
- heart rate issues - bradycardia?
Nurse J has told me previously that the team have said to contact them if I get any of these symptoms
Palpitations, cramps in arms and legs, tingling sensations or numbness or feeling generally unwell with weakness/tiredness.
as these are almost tale-tale-signs of low potassium and need my blood checked like asap so I can have supplements of potassium so i dont cause permentant damage.However this is the bit I don't know i mention. For the last few days/week my heart rate has been dropping below range and staying there for 10 minutes or more. I know I shouldnt use "dr google" but its making me think the worst about it. Like this has happened before and I've not mentioned it because it settled but my parents were trying to push me to tell someone because in the family there are underlying heart issues mainly on the maternal side.
I just dont know what i should do
- do i email and tell her this
- she will just try to get me in earlier (physically can't with work though)
- do i push it aside and sweep it under the rug
- should I mention it to my GP (on my record it says I'm due for an ECG) and im due to see them for a med review in 2 weeks
- can I just cancel it all together and pretend it doesn't exist
I dont want to do this anymore
Wish the mental health team didn't pick up of my relationship with food
I'm just internally screaming about everything.
Maybe i will cancel it and hope it all settles like it usually does
Anyways again idk why I made this, not really looking for advice or anything, just needed to get it out in a way
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Comments
I know how much you are debating this. It seems as if there's things in placee for you by having these checks to allow then to review and check how things are for you but at the same time you are feeling overwhelmed by it all. Am I right in understanding that yoy feel the less you'll disclose and "pretend things,are okay" the less apots that will then happen avoiding this overwhelm and constant checks? But also because your wiry if what next and that your less deserving. Firstly though you deserve support like everyone else!! You matter.
Please don't turn these people away, they are there to help you and I do think you have a good relationship with nurse and the ladt I messaged you the gp was okay as well, so pleas try not to turn them away, let thrm support you.
These symptoms your having, while it could be they go away as you feel like they may goubg by past, it's slwayd best to be open with then. What the symptoms you experiencing cannot be pleasant and so nebtion to get the support you need to aid in these symptoms getting better treated leaving it could create more discomfort which neither you or we want and impact on work and you life- which is important to you!
Know we care and you deserve support!!, 💛
I am feeling overwhelmed by it all, but you are right I'm hoping if I pretend I'm okay/everything's okay, there will be less appointments - i can't be taking time off work just to go for a 20 minute appointment each week/month, not with the potential of having therapy again too for a separate issue.
You are right I do have a good relationship with the Nurse and my GP is okay - although is making me have a medication review in the next week or 2 😞
The symptoms aren't pleasant at times but i don't want to open up about them because it might mean more appointments or follow ups and I can't be dealing with that.
- Thank you for this i need this at times ❤️
I really want to echo what @Invisible_me has said here - that letting your healthcare team support you through this could be really powerful and important, though I hear just how daunting and overwhelming it is, esspecially when there are so many appointments to navigate. I can imagine its really tiring, having to go into anxiety-inducing situations over and over again. And you deserve a healthcare team who are mindful of this and who do all they can to help you feel safe and in control.
It sounds like you're noticing some real changes in your physical health, such as longer drops in your heartrate as well as your potassium levels, and your family also have underlying heart issues. I can imagine that feeling frightening, perhaps? Although I can hear too just how conflicting it is when another part of you really just wants for all of these concerns to go away and to be able to sweep it under the rug. I just wonder if postponing getting help could make the symptoms stronger and longer-lasting. Perhaps if Nurse J knows what you're going through, support can be given earlier on so that you can start feeling better sooner. And its so valid that this process might feel really scary or vulnerable.
You mentioned a few different ways there about how you could tell Nurse J if you did choose to - like sending an email maybe? How do you feel about that?
When you attend the appointments, I wonder if there is anything that helps them feel a tiny bit less overwhelming, for example, perhaps being able to type out your concerns on your phone rather than needing to talk through and explain.
We're all here for you Lottie, and thank you again for this post.
It is tiring going through this all but I've been doing it on and off for about a year anyway (blood tests/checks every 3 months, then weekly for a bit, now monthly again). The appoitments can be slightly anxiety inducing but thats just the "white coat syndrome" and Nurse J is fully aware of how anxious i get in them and does her best to ease it (talking about basically anything)
I am noticing more physical symptoms for now, but i think it's only because im not distracting myself with the gym like I usually do (can't go much due to work and injury). I wouldn't say it's frightening, given the history because I don't mind it in a way, like most people in my family found out about their heart issues later on in life and had no issues. I don't think I should be worried about it because when I had surgery nothing was picked up on and I've been fine it's just an every now and again thing.
So i could email Nurse J however if I do I probably won't get a response till Monday as it's the weekend. so what's the harm in waiting the extra couple days till Wednesday? Like she will just try to get me in earlier however i can't due to work - Monday potentially 10hr shift 9-7, Tuesday 2-7 but in the office on the morning, so only time I can actually go is Wednesday.
In all honesty I don't see a point in emailing her.
Nothing really helps me feel less overwhelmed. I've already started writing thing down thar I feel she should know but its whether or not I take it and actually tell her or if i just leave it at home and "forget" to mention it. Like she will proably realise some of it like the coldness and dizziness, but might just brush that aside anyways.
But yeah thanks agin for the response