sick of everything

struggling0_0 · March 31

im so so tired of every single aspect of life forreal. i have no purpose. life is shit. i hate life. im messing up college once again. i cant cope with my job. i just lay in bed existing and crying about life. im sat in college right now crying but its ok, nobody cares lol. dont know why im even in college right now and trying to do coursework because ive messed the year up so bad i cant pass so no point even coming back. might just email course coordintaor now and tell her im not coming back. no matter what, everything goes to shit. a certain place nearly messed up a voluntary role i have which has annoyed me so much and now makes me really anxious about saying anything / volunteering there as a result. oh and again i found out ive been being excluded yay.

i try so fucking hard to make life worth living but yeah, its not. its never going to be. there is no point in anything. even professionals cant be bothered with me anymore because struggling to put what i feel into words is just me being moody apparently. im meant to be out on thursday with a youth group but im not even gonna go, dont want to ruin anyones day as thats all im good for.

dont even know why im posting this as im probably just going to ask for my account to be deleted as im clearly not wanted around here either, and pls dont waste your time trying to tell me i am because there is so much evidence which proves i am not.

im safe. i have no intentions. i have no plans. so dont get nobody involved, i dont need it.

Azziman · March 31

Hey @struggling0_0, thank you for sharing how you feel with us. I'm here to listen to you. I can hear how difficult things are for you. It's frustrating when we try our best in life but feel like we keep messing up. Still, you're doing the best that you can, and that counts for something

I understand that you feel like you've messed the year up already and so can't pass. What's happened to make you feel this way? Is it worth speaking to the course coordinator to understand what can still be done to try and save the year (e.g. retakes)? I hope that they might be able offer some support or next steps for you.

I'm sorry to hear about the volunteering role. It sounds like whatever happened, it's caused you a lot of trouble and now it's difficult to go back to say anything or volunteer there. How did you find the volunteering role until this happened, was it something you'd have considered returning to if this hadn't happened? I won't push you to talk about what happened if you don't want to, but please know that you're able to use this space to express yourself if you'd like.

Struggling to put how we feel into words can be challenging, and you're not alone in finding that difficult, so I'm surprised and upset to hear that professionals are calling you moody because of it. Have you heard this from different professionals, or are there specific individuals who are making this comment? Simply put, the statement isn't true - struggling to put emotions into words doesn't make someone moody, and it's not a fair assessment of how you're doing on that basis. I'm sorry to hear that you feel like they can't be bothered with you - the feeling of someone giving up on us is really painful, and you deserve to be supported by these people.

It's worrying to hear that you feel like you're not wanted around here and that there's evidence to prove it. Would you be able to share what makes you feel that way? I'm happy that you're a part of this community - you, being you, as you are. You matter, and we're here to support you

sick of everything

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