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Really hating my job position now đ
Lottie5433
Posts: 591 Incredible Poster
in Work & Study
This post follows on from my previous thread found here .
*Context - This is my 3rd year working on a holiday campsite. for the first 2 years i was seasonal so only worked between February/March till November. However my GM has always wanted to give me a more permanent position at work, so November 2024 i was contracted. Fast forward 3 months and my GM decided to change my position from a leisure attendant to a leisure supervisor - with this i have more responsibilities and am of a higher position within my leisure team*
I hate being in a supervisor right now.
I've been in this position for just over 2 weeks now but its causing me too much stress right now. I hate having all this pressure and stress - i don't think my mental health can cope with this anymore.
All I did today was go in and show one of my team member "C" how to use our new coffee machine as its different from our last machine. I also went in to feed back some information i was given about some tasks we do and that things need to be recorded different so our external health and safety officer has everything in the same place and follows our risk assessments etc. I then also fed back information that our GM had mentioned - C wasn't impressed by it tbh. *They have been with us for about 10 years*
I don't think C[/] like the idea that I'm of a higher position than her given that she has been there longer.
The reason i dont think i can do this anymore is cause C making me regret all my decisions and making me feel shit about it all. Like as a supervisor i have the following responsibilities:
C is not too happy about K's shifts this coz they feel they are getting all the rubbish shifts - when in fact the remaining shift are split equally between me and and C. She feels this is unfair as when she interviewed for the job 10 years ago she was told they were not given set days or hours but times has changed and everything ive done has been approved by GM (including the rota). However C has gone over my head and gone straight to the AGM about her issues with the rota instead of talking to me about it because i would have explained it all to her why it has been done this way.
C also asked if i had any people apply for the job - I told her i have, and i have someone to interview on Saturday "R". From their CV and cover letter they are a good fit for the role. I also mentioned how "T" might be coming back if she get the clear from her physio (ill find out on Monday if she is able to return). C had concerns about the amount of staff we might have and if there is the budget for it (clearly there is or the GM would not allow me to do this). She was only concerned as UC are telling her she needs to find more hours of work if she wants to stop having weekly appointments with them, and she fears with having 4 people {when I'm in America} and 5 when I'm back means she wont get any extra hours. I did explain that we need that many people to prevent people burning-out because of the amount of shifts and hours (which is what i had last year) but also allows people to have days off. C thinks this is ridiculous but I'm just trying to maintain a health working team that i can rely on.
C also said they would pick up extra shift and if anyone went off sick they would pick up the shift if they were contacted - however if we go off last year, she never once did this and always made excuses not to do any extra shifts. With this i feel i cant rely on her and need extra staff ~ am i doing the right thing here?
Once i had spoken to C today and told her all the new information i was given, i left and went back to reception and ranted to my "Office " Line manager but had to leave coz i was just getting too overwhelmed and riled up that i almost broke down in front of her (i didn't want this coz she is already worried about me as she saw my recent SH yesterday when i was working).
Basically C is making me hate my job and making me feel I'm doing everything wrong. My mental health makes it so difficult to deal with all this.
I feel like C is gaslighting me to doubt myself and to gain some sort of power over me just coz she is "experienced".
Her demeanour and attitude when ever i give constructive feedback or tell her anything just triggers a lot of my past trauma and just makes me hate myself and everything I'm doing.
Since leaving work today I'm fighting the urge not to harm myself - i feel like i need to feel something and punish myself. But I don't want to do this coz then I'm failing myself and my GM/Line manager (as i promised i wouldn't do this and would talk to them more)
I F***ing hate everything to do with work and life - why would any one think i can do this. They made the wrong choice
*Context - This is my 3rd year working on a holiday campsite. for the first 2 years i was seasonal so only worked between February/March till November. However my GM has always wanted to give me a more permanent position at work, so November 2024 i was contracted. Fast forward 3 months and my GM decided to change my position from a leisure attendant to a leisure supervisor - with this i have more responsibilities and am of a higher position within my leisure team*
I hate being in a supervisor right now.
I've been in this position for just over 2 weeks now but its causing me too much stress right now. I hate having all this pressure and stress - i don't think my mental health can cope with this anymore.
All I did today was go in and show one of my team member "C" how to use our new coffee machine as its different from our last machine. I also went in to feed back some information i was given about some tasks we do and that things need to be recorded different so our external health and safety officer has everything in the same place and follows our risk assessments etc. I then also fed back information that our GM had mentioned - C wasn't impressed by it tbh. *They have been with us for about 10 years*
I don't think C[/] like the idea that I'm of a higher position than her given that she has been there longer.
The reason i dont think i can do this anymore is cause C making me regret all my decisions and making me feel shit about it all. Like as a supervisor i have the following responsibilities:
- Rotas - trying to split things equally and accommodate all my team where i can
- Training up new staff on the procedures
- Maintaining standards and ensure everyone follows the set procedures and knows what they are doing when
- Finding new staff - Particularly for when I am away for 3 months (all being well with going to America this summer)
- Supporting staff and easing their anxieties and concerns
C is not too happy about K's shifts this coz they feel they are getting all the rubbish shifts - when in fact the remaining shift are split equally between me and and C. She feels this is unfair as when she interviewed for the job 10 years ago she was told they were not given set days or hours but times has changed and everything ive done has been approved by GM (including the rota). However C has gone over my head and gone straight to the AGM about her issues with the rota instead of talking to me about it because i would have explained it all to her why it has been done this way.
C also asked if i had any people apply for the job - I told her i have, and i have someone to interview on Saturday "R". From their CV and cover letter they are a good fit for the role. I also mentioned how "T" might be coming back if she get the clear from her physio (ill find out on Monday if she is able to return). C had concerns about the amount of staff we might have and if there is the budget for it (clearly there is or the GM would not allow me to do this). She was only concerned as UC are telling her she needs to find more hours of work if she wants to stop having weekly appointments with them, and she fears with having 4 people {when I'm in America} and 5 when I'm back means she wont get any extra hours. I did explain that we need that many people to prevent people burning-out because of the amount of shifts and hours (which is what i had last year) but also allows people to have days off. C thinks this is ridiculous but I'm just trying to maintain a health working team that i can rely on.
C also said they would pick up extra shift and if anyone went off sick they would pick up the shift if they were contacted - however if we go off last year, she never once did this and always made excuses not to do any extra shifts. With this i feel i cant rely on her and need extra staff ~ am i doing the right thing here?
Once i had spoken to C today and told her all the new information i was given, i left and went back to reception and ranted to my "Office " Line manager but had to leave coz i was just getting too overwhelmed and riled up that i almost broke down in front of her (i didn't want this coz she is already worried about me as she saw my recent SH yesterday when i was working).
Basically C is making me hate my job and making me feel I'm doing everything wrong. My mental health makes it so difficult to deal with all this.
I feel like C is gaslighting me to doubt myself and to gain some sort of power over me just coz she is "experienced".
Her demeanour and attitude when ever i give constructive feedback or tell her anything just triggers a lot of my past trauma and just makes me hate myself and everything I'm doing.
Since leaving work today I'm fighting the urge not to harm myself - i feel like i need to feel something and punish myself. But I don't want to do this coz then I'm failing myself and my GM/Line manager (as i promised i wouldn't do this and would talk to them more)
I F***ing hate everything to do with work and life - why would any one think i can do this. They made the wrong choice
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Comments
@ Lottie5433 you got the supervisor post because you deserve it and they feel they could you with it rather than C therefore you need to recognise this and so does C if shes unhappy she needs to raise it up higher than you (as she directly unhappy with uoy) but if zedmz she's prob jealous which yeah you can understand byt she needs to get over it and just work in improving herself. She's not going to be able to snatch it off.
I work as a casual invigilator just to get extra work, shifts and fill day time ad sometimes with my youth work that'd eve and had a bit more availability ladt year i of 3 days, sone people are not happy and gossiping behind my back "why she got lead for and not me," but dughh if you as lead decide not to turn up or distribute your shifts equally between school ( thry invigilate at 3 schools and only gave 1 week availability out of 3 months to this one and then gibing full time other 2) thrn someone else had to step up and that was me!
Obviously I can't comment on work actions directly to say if your doing the right thing, but clearly aren't doing anything visibley wrobg either as you've got permission and secondly looking after staff culture wellbeing alongside catering peoples flexible needs. Id love to work with a company like thst.
C Just makes me feel crap about everything - they keep going over my head to others even when ive stated I'm the first port of call and that im chasing things up that she's mentioned. They just make me frustrated.
Sorry for the delayed response I appreciate your comment on this
No worries. I can get that's fustrating..have you .mentioned to her that your her point of contact. I guess it might be that she feels comfortable approaching the other person. It sounds like theyse not much you can possibly do. Can you have a chat eith your manager about how C makes you feel?
C Just makes me feel crap about everything - they keep going over my head to others even when ive stated I'm the first port of call and that im chasing things up that she's mentioned. They just make me frustrated.
There isnt really any management that I could talk to about how she's making me feel. The person I would talk to is on annual leave right now which is my GM but I feel like if I talk to her about this im just making a mountain out a mole hill. Like is there much point?
Sorry for the delayed response I appreciate your comment on this
I mentioned to the retail manager yesterday how C has been making me feel and in my eyes he just invalidated everything i mentioned. Saying "i have to be careful how I talk to them", "make sure I don't let the 'power' go to me my head" and basically I have to get over it. I thought he'd say something more reassuring given we use to go out and he knows about my MH and how they impact me.
I dont even know why I bother, just have to suck it up and deal with it
iâm really sorry youâre feeling this way, and i want to thank you for being so open about it, as i know itâs not easy to share such difficult feelings! i can tell this situation is really weighing heavily on you, and itâs understandable considering all the pressure youâre under right now. first of all, itâs important to recognise that youâve been given this position because your gm sees potential in you, and they believe you can handle it, even if it feels overwhelming right now. you are capable of doing this, even if it doesnât feel that way.
it seems like c is creating a lot of tension, and itâs natural to feel frustrated, especially when youâre trying to make positive changes and manage your team. itâs tough when people donât see the effort youâre putting in and instead make you feel like youâre doing something wrong. from what youâve described, youâre doing everything by the book, and your actions have been approved by the gm. that is a solid foundation, even if c doesnât agree with the decisions. it is tough, but try to remind yourself that youâre not in the wrong here, and this is just a hard situation where youâre learning and growing.
your mental health is so important, and iâm really sorry that this job is making you feel this way. it sounds like youâre carrying a lot on your shoulders, and itâs taking a toll on you. please donât feel like youâre failing anyone, this is a huge responsibility, and no one expects you to handle everything perfectly, especially when dealing with difficult people like c. Itâs okay to feel overwhelmed, and itâs okay to ask for support when you need it.
if the situation continues to impact your mental health like this, it might be worth talking to your gm or hr about how to better manage these challenges? and please, if you ever feel the urge to harm yourself, reach out to someone you trust or a professional who can offer you support. you donât have to go through this alone - we are always here for you!
you are not failing, this is just a really tough season, and you are doing your best, and thatâs all anyone can ask for - youâve got this
I want to talk to my GM about this but i feel their isnt anything that can be done đ- GM warned my this might happen, especially with C - when i took the job. I thought i could handle it; in the moment i can, its coming away that i breakdown and hate everything
i dont really have anyone i can reach out to anymore or that i trust enough to bring this up again to.
Just thank you for your kind words Shannon, it made me teary just reading and knowing i have people in this community like you
I know what you mean, but your not making a mountain out of a molehill, your jusy expression g your worries and concerns which you can do.
If nothing improves I will look to speak to my GM as I have to have a conversation with her about my work schedule anyway (positive for them as I can work more, negative for me coz i may miss the opportunity for Camp America > due to mh team disappointing me )
đ€đ»I can just ignore and cope with things without getting GM involved
that sounds like a solid plan, giving it a bit of time to see if things settle makes sense, especially with the holiday season just kicking off. hopefully, it all smooths out, and you wonât even need to escalate things!
it is sooo frustrating that your mh team has let you down and that it might impact camp america. i know how much you were looking forward to that, so i really hope thereâs still a way for it to work out.
whatever happens, weâre all here if you need to vent or talk things through