If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Really hating my job position now 😔
Lottie5433
Posts: 526 Incredible Poster
in Work & Study
This post follows on from my previous thread found here .
*Context - This is my 3rd year working on a holiday campsite. for the first 2 years i was seasonal so only worked between February/March till November. However my GM has always wanted to give me a more permanent position at work, so November 2024 i was contracted. Fast forward 3 months and my GM decided to change my position from a leisure attendant to a leisure supervisor - with this i have more responsibilities and am of a higher position within my leisure team*
I hate being in a supervisor right now.
I've been in this position for just over 2 weeks now but its causing me too much stress right now. I hate having all this pressure and stress - i don't think my mental health can cope with this anymore.
All I did today was go in and show one of my team member "C" how to use our new coffee machine as its different from our last machine. I also went in to feed back some information i was given about some tasks we do and that things need to be recorded different so our external health and safety officer has everything in the same place and follows our risk assessments etc. I then also fed back information that our GM had mentioned - C wasn't impressed by it tbh. *They have been with us for about 10 years*
I don't think C[/] like the idea that I'm of a higher position than her given that she has been there longer.
The reason i dont think i can do this anymore is cause C making me regret all my decisions and making me feel shit about it all. Like as a supervisor i have the following responsibilities:
C is not too happy about K's shifts this coz they feel they are getting all the rubbish shifts - when in fact the remaining shift are split equally between me and and C. She feels this is unfair as when she interviewed for the job 10 years ago she was told they were not given set days or hours but times has changed and everything ive done has been approved by GM (including the rota). However C has gone over my head and gone straight to the AGM about her issues with the rota instead of talking to me about it because i would have explained it all to her why it has been done this way.
C also asked if i had any people apply for the job - I told her i have, and i have someone to interview on Saturday "R". From their CV and cover letter they are a good fit for the role. I also mentioned how "T" might be coming back if she get the clear from her physio (ill find out on Monday if she is able to return). C had concerns about the amount of staff we might have and if there is the budget for it (clearly there is or the GM would not allow me to do this). She was only concerned as UC are telling her she needs to find more hours of work if she wants to stop having weekly appointments with them, and she fears with having 4 people {when I'm in America} and 5 when I'm back means she wont get any extra hours. I did explain that we need that many people to prevent people burning-out because of the amount of shifts and hours (which is what i had last year) but also allows people to have days off. C thinks this is ridiculous but I'm just trying to maintain a health working team that i can rely on.
C also said they would pick up extra shift and if anyone went off sick they would pick up the shift if they were contacted - however if we go off last year, she never once did this and always made excuses not to do any extra shifts. With this i feel i cant rely on her and need extra staff ~ am i doing the right thing here?
Once i had spoken to C today and told her all the new information i was given, i left and went back to reception and ranted to my "Office " Line manager but had to leave coz i was just getting too overwhelmed and riled up that i almost broke down in front of her (i didn't want this coz she is already worried about me as she saw my recent SH yesterday when i was working).
Basically C is making me hate my job and making me feel I'm doing everything wrong. My mental health makes it so difficult to deal with all this.
I feel like C is gaslighting me to doubt myself and to gain some sort of power over me just coz she is "experienced".
Her demeanour and attitude when ever i give constructive feedback or tell her anything just triggers a lot of my past trauma and just makes me hate myself and everything I'm doing.
Since leaving work today I'm fighting the urge not to harm myself - i feel like i need to feel something and punish myself. But I don't want to do this coz then I'm failing myself and my GM/Line manager (as i promised i wouldn't do this and would talk to them more)
I F***ing hate everything to do with work and life - why would any one think i can do this. They made the wrong choice
*Context - This is my 3rd year working on a holiday campsite. for the first 2 years i was seasonal so only worked between February/March till November. However my GM has always wanted to give me a more permanent position at work, so November 2024 i was contracted. Fast forward 3 months and my GM decided to change my position from a leisure attendant to a leisure supervisor - with this i have more responsibilities and am of a higher position within my leisure team*
I hate being in a supervisor right now.
I've been in this position for just over 2 weeks now but its causing me too much stress right now. I hate having all this pressure and stress - i don't think my mental health can cope with this anymore.
All I did today was go in and show one of my team member "C" how to use our new coffee machine as its different from our last machine. I also went in to feed back some information i was given about some tasks we do and that things need to be recorded different so our external health and safety officer has everything in the same place and follows our risk assessments etc. I then also fed back information that our GM had mentioned - C wasn't impressed by it tbh. *They have been with us for about 10 years*
I don't think C[/] like the idea that I'm of a higher position than her given that she has been there longer.
The reason i dont think i can do this anymore is cause C making me regret all my decisions and making me feel shit about it all. Like as a supervisor i have the following responsibilities:
- Rotas - trying to split things equally and accommodate all my team where i can
- Training up new staff on the procedures
- Maintaining standards and ensure everyone follows the set procedures and knows what they are doing when
- Finding new staff - Particularly for when I am away for 3 months (all being well with going to America this summer)
- Supporting staff and easing their anxieties and concerns
C is not too happy about K's shifts this coz they feel they are getting all the rubbish shifts - when in fact the remaining shift are split equally between me and and C. She feels this is unfair as when she interviewed for the job 10 years ago she was told they were not given set days or hours but times has changed and everything ive done has been approved by GM (including the rota). However C has gone over my head and gone straight to the AGM about her issues with the rota instead of talking to me about it because i would have explained it all to her why it has been done this way.
C also asked if i had any people apply for the job - I told her i have, and i have someone to interview on Saturday "R". From their CV and cover letter they are a good fit for the role. I also mentioned how "T" might be coming back if she get the clear from her physio (ill find out on Monday if she is able to return). C had concerns about the amount of staff we might have and if there is the budget for it (clearly there is or the GM would not allow me to do this). She was only concerned as UC are telling her she needs to find more hours of work if she wants to stop having weekly appointments with them, and she fears with having 4 people {when I'm in America} and 5 when I'm back means she wont get any extra hours. I did explain that we need that many people to prevent people burning-out because of the amount of shifts and hours (which is what i had last year) but also allows people to have days off. C thinks this is ridiculous but I'm just trying to maintain a health working team that i can rely on.
C also said they would pick up extra shift and if anyone went off sick they would pick up the shift if they were contacted - however if we go off last year, she never once did this and always made excuses not to do any extra shifts. With this i feel i cant rely on her and need extra staff ~ am i doing the right thing here?
Once i had spoken to C today and told her all the new information i was given, i left and went back to reception and ranted to my "Office " Line manager but had to leave coz i was just getting too overwhelmed and riled up that i almost broke down in front of her (i didn't want this coz she is already worried about me as she saw my recent SH yesterday when i was working).
Basically C is making me hate my job and making me feel I'm doing everything wrong. My mental health makes it so difficult to deal with all this.
I feel like C is gaslighting me to doubt myself and to gain some sort of power over me just coz she is "experienced".
Her demeanour and attitude when ever i give constructive feedback or tell her anything just triggers a lot of my past trauma and just makes me hate myself and everything I'm doing.
Since leaving work today I'm fighting the urge not to harm myself - i feel like i need to feel something and punish myself. But I don't want to do this coz then I'm failing myself and my GM/Line manager (as i promised i wouldn't do this and would talk to them more)
I F***ing hate everything to do with work and life - why would any one think i can do this. They made the wrong choice
Tagged:
2