If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Welp. I guess its time...
JJLemon18
Community Champion Posts: 2,097 Boards Champion
in General Chat
Well well, I havent made a long rambly post in a loooong time now... so here's the last one I'll make.
Just wanted to write an update about me and whats been happening on my side. Although think of it, I'm not sure theres many people left here who still remember me lol...
The two years I've been on here have been the craziest in my life; a LOT of ups, but a LOT of downs. It went by so quick that I can barely process it all. It feels so short.
You know what they say, "the star that burns brightest, burns out quickest."
I didnt burn very bright, but I did burn out real flippin quick.
I didnt expect to make this post this soon but I've not been active here much anymore, and truth be told, this place isnt the same anymore.
Theres not much that I hate more than uncertainty, and goodbyes. But right now, everything in my life is uncertain, and I have so much goodbyes I need to say.
I'm scared. I dont want to lose everything, but I am slowly losing everything. Soon I will be forced to start over, and being the age that I am I shouldn't be this terrified. But I'm just not sure I can do it. Only time will tell.
I'm keeping all this very vague, I dont want to share everything here, it won't change anything. But I am currently in the worst place in my life. Which is a phrase I said many times before, but I didnt know how bad it will all still get...
Right now is when I need a big safe space the most, but this unfortunately is not that place anymore. And I wont pretend that I cant see everything thats going on. Not like it matters anyway.
With that out the way. I really really wanted to thank the entire community for everything over the past two years, all the listening ears, all the support, all the friends I made along the way. I'm incredibly sad to say goodbye, but nothing can last forever. I still dont feel like I've thanked the community enough, even though again, most people I'm grateful for wont even see this.
This place has changed my life in so many ways you wouldn't believe. I'm doing so much better because of it. The biggest improvement is my social anxiety being significantly minimised! I am now capable of so much more than before and those lessons I've learnt will stay with me for the rest of my life. Just like I'll remember all you for the rest of my life.
I wish I could spend more time here. You wouldn't believe the quantity of poems I wrote inspired in one way or another by this community. Most of them are completely unfinished or I've never had the courage to post them. But I guess they'll stay for me now.
With all that being said - this is a goodbye from me. But I am not leaving completely. I will slowly move away from this place in the very near future (which first involves un-bookmarking this page lol), but I might check in from time to time, cause yk, who is there to stop me. I just need some space in my mind to deal with stuff, and even with being so inactive lately this community was always at the back of my mind. Now I need some of that space freed.
So believe in me as I continue my journey into the deep unknown, as much as I believe in every single one of you to make your life as happy, meaningful and as fun as possible! Wishing y'all the best. Stay strong beautiful people.
Take care
JJ
Alt text: Cat in a straw hat about to leave in their truck
Just wanted to write an update about me and whats been happening on my side. Although think of it, I'm not sure theres many people left here who still remember me lol...
The two years I've been on here have been the craziest in my life; a LOT of ups, but a LOT of downs. It went by so quick that I can barely process it all. It feels so short.
You know what they say, "the star that burns brightest, burns out quickest."
I didnt burn very bright, but I did burn out real flippin quick.
I didnt expect to make this post this soon but I've not been active here much anymore, and truth be told, this place isnt the same anymore.
Theres not much that I hate more than uncertainty, and goodbyes. But right now, everything in my life is uncertain, and I have so much goodbyes I need to say.
I'm scared. I dont want to lose everything, but I am slowly losing everything. Soon I will be forced to start over, and being the age that I am I shouldn't be this terrified. But I'm just not sure I can do it. Only time will tell.
I'm keeping all this very vague, I dont want to share everything here, it won't change anything. But I am currently in the worst place in my life. Which is a phrase I said many times before, but I didnt know how bad it will all still get...
Right now is when I need a big safe space the most, but this unfortunately is not that place anymore. And I wont pretend that I cant see everything thats going on. Not like it matters anyway.
With that out the way. I really really wanted to thank the entire community for everything over the past two years, all the listening ears, all the support, all the friends I made along the way. I'm incredibly sad to say goodbye, but nothing can last forever. I still dont feel like I've thanked the community enough, even though again, most people I'm grateful for wont even see this.
This place has changed my life in so many ways you wouldn't believe. I'm doing so much better because of it. The biggest improvement is my social anxiety being significantly minimised! I am now capable of so much more than before and those lessons I've learnt will stay with me for the rest of my life. Just like I'll remember all you for the rest of my life.
I wish I could spend more time here. You wouldn't believe the quantity of poems I wrote inspired in one way or another by this community. Most of them are completely unfinished or I've never had the courage to post them. But I guess they'll stay for me now.
With all that being said - this is a goodbye from me. But I am not leaving completely. I will slowly move away from this place in the very near future (which first involves un-bookmarking this page lol), but I might check in from time to time, cause yk, who is there to stop me. I just need some space in my mind to deal with stuff, and even with being so inactive lately this community was always at the back of my mind. Now I need some of that space freed.
So believe in me as I continue my journey into the deep unknown, as much as I believe in every single one of you to make your life as happy, meaningful and as fun as possible! Wishing y'all the best. Stay strong beautiful people.
Take care
JJ
Alt text: Cat in a straw hat about to leave in their truck
Believe in me - who believes in you
11
Comments
I just wanted to let you know that I remember you, and I'm really sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time. It’s sad to see you go, but I completely understand why you need to take some space. I genuinely wish you the best of luck on your journey ahead, and I hope things get better for you soon. Take care of yourself, and don’t hesitate to reach out if you ever feel like checking in.
Best wishes.
But regardless. Thank you
@independent_ Thank you so much! You know where to find me too if you ever need. All the best!
(My PMs are always open, just hope I check my emails lol, for some reason my PMs go into my 'other' tab)
@TheNightmare thank you! It means a lot. I'll try checking in from time to time, I am quite curious sometimes hehe. Best wishes to you too
Cheers bro, keep strong my guy.
All the best,
Amy22
Is there anything which might help this to feel more 'the same' and a safe space to be? We believe in you but we also recognise how scary and overwhelming things feel! especially when you feel you have to start over. Age is a number and does not ultimately define how you (do or 'should') feel.
We are all so proud of you and your growth! We really care about you and are here for you
Best of luck with the rest of your journey, we’re here to cheer you on. It’s been great having you in this community, take care!
@Laura_tigger82 I feel like I havent properly heard from you in a long time! I remember you used to reply to my threads a lot
I again thank you and everyone else for all the support and all the replies. Even just a simple reply mean a lot to me, and helped me learn in even the smallest way. Thanks to that, today I'd say I'm no longer stuck in my 'bubble' too afraid to leave or try anything new.
I hear you, and want to acknowledge just how hard that might be. I hear that loss, that change. It sounds so hard to find yourself unable to stay just when you need this Community the most.
From what you've described, it sounds like things might be incredibly difficult right now. Harder and heavier in fact than they've ever been. That's a huge amount to hold, so much to cope through. And I really hope you find so much support, safety, and kindness.
Take care