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The daggers are what took you away
It still haunts me too this never ending day
Suicide is long term and damaging
You were all snatched by the magnets of suicide
Every call I take reminds me of those very days
Each call scares me like it’s another
Like a stereo on repeat
One more friend to be captured
By the daggers of suicide
Each grasp it holds upon you
The words of the daggers hang on you
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
I never healed from it, I don’t know why
Maybe it’s the burden that I can’t bear
Or the countless painful memories
The ones that feel unapproachable
Untouchable till eternity
The ones about the time I nearly lost me
Then that scard me with water
Or the articles too hard to handle
So yeah..I never healed from it
I don’t think I ever will
Done great till now
I don’t need to heal
I can handle it
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
Maybe it’s me
I’m the curse of the family
The reason that nothing is okay
Why every day is just ages away
I’m the reason everyone is so unhappy
I’m the curse
Always doing wrong
It’s always me nothing out of ordinary
Maybe it’s me
Or it’s just me
Nothing maybe to question
I’m the curse
Always will
I’m sorry for who I came to be
I’m the curse
There the comfort of words
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
Last night, I caught up on the poems I had missed and oh my! You just keep getting better and better. ❤️
Your poems are written so beautifully and yet they are sometimes so sad. You have a real knack for this. I cant wait for you to publish your own poem book one day
Keep it up❤️
I’m at 1020 poems now hehehe @Maia
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
I’m no longer telling you
You didn’t get it the first time
When will you realise
your guilt drowns me
I’m no longer telling you
You’ll make me feel bad for having a voice
Do you really think I’d be okay with that
I’m no longer telling you anymore
You make me go silent
It’s something you just willingly ignore
I’m no longer telling you
I guess I’ll keep you happy
I’m no longer telling you
I’ll just stay silent
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
I needed somewhere to keep me safe
Because someone isn’t possible
feeling of safety gone from a young age
from the lack of safety from people around
Safety? Safe? I don’t know
I don’t know what that feels like
Who does safe feel like?
Somewhere I’ve felt safe
Somewhere not often
People never
Someone isn’t possible
Somewhere not feeling safe
That’s the past
Sometimes present
Someone not feeling safe
That’s many
Lots of names I could mention
That is the current
I needed somewhere to feel safe
Someone did in fact give me that space
My safe person, my safe place
The woman, the adult who saved me
She did in so many ways
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
I hate this phrase
“It won’t be like this forever”
Tell me why I’ve felt like this for years
Since I was 11 to be exact
It feels cruel to say when it feels like forever
“It won’t be like this forever”
Does that really apply to trauma
It’s practically a lie
Trauma is forever
Flashbacks are forever
Greif is forever
I hate that phrase
“It won’t be like this forever”
But it will, nothing will change
It should be altered
“It will be like this forever”
Certainly in my world
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
I’m okay
IM NOT OKAY!!!
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
I did it alone
I got to where I am on my own
No one was there
Just me, myself and I
I learnt to stand on my own 2 feet
It was just me
I did it alone
When no one was there
I kept myself a float
Stopped myself from drowning
It was just me
Just me, myself and I
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
Everyone leaves
Everyone lies
Everyone hurts me
Everyone replaces me
Everyone forgets me
Everyone fakes to care
Everyone says they need me but dont
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
I cry alone every night
Just so no one can see how broken I am
Hiding all the secrets behind the doors
To not let the truth be obscured
Leaving everything in the darkest void
The truth be known could lead to war
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
The start of the war
The war broke out when I was 11
Self harm emerged from the shadows
consequences of bullying
A void hidden in silence
It was all just low mood to those who knew
Never something underlying
The war went silent when I was 15
The teenage phase of low mood
Suicide started to haunt my mind
Physical bullying torn me down
It all took a turn when the war grew
8 suicide attempts
but only 1 attempt was seen
The war is still here even at 18
But the silence isn’t much seen
People are aware
The struggles get told
But secrets still to be kept untold
Locked in the grips of the void
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
I’m not sure if I ever sleep
I do go to bed tho I’m always stuck awake
Staring at those silent plain walls
Everything stuck in time
Constant scratching sounds
Ding dong, ding dong
It’s the chimes for 3am
The floor boards creaking
The radiators on full blast
My anxiety starts to waken
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free