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I didnt sleep properly last night
FordRanger
Posts: 1,312 Wise Owl
I was just stressing about my situation with work, I'm trying to get into a job, I have applied to some and not hearing much back. Some have replied checking stuff. I have been worried about not getting sorted with work, having another bad experiance in jobs etc. Also I was just worried about volunteering because I have said a few times here it's not something I want to do, I want to have an income, its pretty important to have that as well as a routine, I have just been worried about volunteering being the only option for me and stuff but it's not something I want to do, it's other stuff as well not just the the cost. So I was just stressing last night not getting much sleep just worried about loads of different things like what I already mentioned it really gets me down sometimes. I worry I'll end up having more setbacks again like I did forklift driving training then flopped it, jobs for that industry come up often when I'm looking so it just reminds me of it and everything. Talking about that I could have been in work now if I didn't flop it and did well but I just messed up that opportunity and ended up back to square one. I just lying there thinking im a failure, I'm not getting anywhere, I just am at home all day, I feel rock bottom like there can't be many people in a much worse situation than me. I was losing hope. I just want to change like get into work and everything. I just feel like I just complain all the time but I need to vent, get things off my chest because like sometimes like last night I just don't get much sleep because I'm stressing about my situation and I during the day when I'm not at college I just am at home I just feel guilty, hopeless, useless, down, anxious, alone etc so I feel I need to vent.
I have made so many discussions now about it all but sometimes this is all I have. I have tried different helplines like calm, kooth, the mix web chat support on here, shout text service, which are alright but they arent always available or long term etc. I prefer for privacy webchats too so I'm limited, does anyone know anyone 1 2 1 chats for adults? Anyway I just want to get into work soon, I am trying with it especially now, before I was trying less but started to try harder. It's just about getting into a job I'm somewhat happy in that's not hard and settled in it then I could have an income, a routine and finally get sorted. I think being a but positive which is a bit hard for me but if I was to be, I'm applying to jobs, currently going college, I have tried things like the forklift driving training wasn't the right outcome but I tried it. I think I am heading in the right direction it's just slow so it's just stressful and I'm just getting negative about it all sometimes.
I have made so many discussions now about it all but sometimes this is all I have. I have tried different helplines like calm, kooth, the mix web chat support on here, shout text service, which are alright but they arent always available or long term etc. I prefer for privacy webchats too so I'm limited, does anyone know anyone 1 2 1 chats for adults? Anyway I just want to get into work soon, I am trying with it especially now, before I was trying less but started to try harder. It's just about getting into a job I'm somewhat happy in that's not hard and settled in it then I could have an income, a routine and finally get sorted. I think being a but positive which is a bit hard for me but if I was to be, I'm applying to jobs, currently going college, I have tried things like the forklift driving training wasn't the right outcome but I tried it. I think I am heading in the right direction it's just slow so it's just stressful and I'm just getting negative about it all sometimes.
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Comments
I understand that the lack of work is a huge stressor for you. But it's good that you are applying for jobs. You might not hear back from some but it might be a case of the more you apply, the more chance you've got of getting a job.
Volunteering does have it's upsides- like routine, something to put on your cv, references etc. But it's also understandable that this isn't exactly what you are looking for as you want paid work. Try not to think of volunteering as your only option though. Sometimes volunteering can help you to get paid work.
Setbacks happen, but it's how you deal with it that matters. You could've given up completely after the forklift truck course, but you didn't- you went back to college. That's good because it shows that you can be resilient, that even when things unfortunately don't work out the way you want them to, that you can still find others to do. This is good to remember so that if you have setbacks in the future, you'll know that even though they are crappy, at least you can get through them. But it's also understandable that seeing jobs like that bring back the memories. Try not to be too hard on yourself though.
It's completely understandable that you want a job and want to do things and feel hopeless that this isn't working out for you. But you aren't a failure. And it's also okay to keep talking about things. Speaking of which, it's good you have tried using a few helplines to talk about things. I'm wondering though whether you could do with some more support? Seeing as you're back in college, is there anyone at college you could talk to? Maybe someone from student support or something? It might help if you explain the situation to them. Let them know how you have been struggling with courses, in general, trying to find a job etc. They might be able to refer you to more specific help whether that's for assessment for disabilities or employment help or something similar.
Keep hanging in there. And if you are struggling with sleep because of your worries, try to tell yourself that you are doing what you can to help yourself
@Maisy hi and thanks for replying. It's hard to sleep when you're stressed about everything and I think because I'm in bed not occupied or with anything I just think about work some nights and it gets on my mind etc. During the day I struggle too.
Talking does help too like getting things off my mind and everything then I am taking a bit of action too. I know volunteering will do that but like I really want to be earning really, I think it's going to be very demotivating just doing that work and not getting paid to show for it then it's not even garanteed to get me into work. It's something that's been bothering me too recently which is a part of all this. I dont think it's going to ruin my life or anything because I haven't volunteered, it just won't be something I could put on my cv which some employers might have looked at it but it might not even limit me. Many people don't do volunteering, as far as I know I don't have any friends who have done it unless they have and I don't know. It shouldn't be really something I should be pressured into and it's supposed to be optional like its in the name "volunteering", if its something I'm being forced to do then it's just more harm than good tbh.
I think setbacks happen to everyone or most people some people have more than others. I think being succesful is about not giving up and trying again. Its good I tried again after the forklift situation I did need a bit of support to carry on though. It wasn't easy just having that forklift course planned then just thinking that it's my career and flopping it.
I think there's reasons like why I might not be a failure like I have tried different things and not given up. I just felt or feel like one because I just seem to flop different things like things in the past, school exams, finding my feet, getting on with people, my work situation, not having my career planned out yet, when I was younger I wanted to be a mechanic but I didn't end up doing that, I was going to do an apprenticeship when I left school in it but didn't get he grades then struggled to find my feet with colleges, work and everything which I still haven't done yet. I think it's been tough since leaving school even though it's good to leave school and college get in the real world etc, I think before leaving I have looked forward to it and I think I would still look forward to things like trying new stuff out etc. It's just about getting settled into a job and securing it.
Thanks a lot for your reply and I'll remember that.