Religion and Sexuality

MatchaMia · August 2023

Hi is there anyone here who's religious or christian / catholic but also exploring their sexuality / gender etc?

jess63 · August 2023

Hi @MatchaMia, yes! I’m a Christian and I’m bisexual and neither one of those stops me from being the other which is great.

Terry8936 · August 2023

Hi @MatchaMia one of my friend faced this issue before. She said that finding a balance between your religious beliefs and your personal journey is something that can take time and self-reflection.

Maisy · August 2023

I'm not, but I know of someone who is both gay and Christian. I also know that a church near me is LGBTQ+ friendly. It's definitely possible to be both

ebyrne556 · August 2023

im not either but ive quite a lot of friends who are.As said above its 100 percent just being true to urself and finding the balance it is fine to be both and as long as you feel comfortable and happy that is the main thing

we are here if u wanna chat through things a bit more.

MatchaMia · August 2023

(I'm going to mention faith a bit here just to say in advance because I know a few of you aren't religious) @ebyrne556 @Maisy @Terry8936 @jess63

I've been struggling a lot with balancing both recently. When I first realised I wasn't straight, I remember sobbing the next day to my mum because I thought I had done something really shameful, even though I have friends who aren't straight and I know they haven't done anything wrong? I'm dating this amazing girl who's also Catholic and bisexual (I'm going to call her Joy for here) and I thought I was slowly accepting myself, we have such a healthy and amazing relationship.The thing is, I know God loves us unconditionally, but for some reason, this past month I've been trying to reconnect with faith or build a stronger relationship and I realised I don't have it worked out, because when trying to get closer to God, in the back of my mind and on some days I just feel guilt to the point that I can't be affectionate with Joy when she's being affectionate to me. I'm just frustrated at myself because I suddenly feel like I'm pulling away from both God and her. I've been dating Joy for almost 3 years now and I had never felt this confused with my faith and sexuality- It was so strange that as soon as I decided I wanted to build a stronger connection with God, I'm suddenly feeling unstable in my relationship when It's so loving? I've been praying for this all to become clearer to me but I can't seem to figure it all out, I even considered that I needed to break up with her. Hearing you all say that almost made me cry hahahah. Thank you all so much

I think also maybe It's to do with the environment I'm in, my family who care about me are very religious but also homophobic so maybe its deep rooted self sabatoge and fear from growing up...I honestly wish I had a community who shared the same faith as me and could help me figure it out, but it can be quite dangerous.

Maisy · September 2023

I think it can be easier to accept others than ourselves at times. This makes sense when you have friends that aren't straight, and know there's nothing wrong with that, and yet struggle with your sexuality and faith.

It might be possible that your very religious and homophobic environment is responsible for you to be feeling this way. Some people have interpreted parts of religion to mean that it's wrong to be homosexual, but that doesn't necessarily mean that their interpretation is right. It's possible that when you wanted to improve your relationship with God, that your main experiences involving religion come from family, you may have also learnt to feel ashamed of your sexuality too. This sounds like something difficult to deal with, but it also sounds like something that you can work through to get to a place where you accept both your religion and your sexuality.

Understandably your struggles might impact on your relationship with Joy. Does Joy know that you wanted to get closer to God but are struggling? She might be wondering if something is up if it's apparent that you are a bit more distant these days. Plus, it can help to talk things though and maybe she can help you see things from a different perspective.

We're all here for you

Jimette · October 2023

@MatchaMia I'm not that person, but reading this, I understand how hard it can be. My grandmother (before she died) was VERY religious, VERY Catholic. Hadn't dated with anyone yet, but even after she died, I'm a little worried about what she would say about my partner, especially if my partner isn't what she expected. It makes me nervous sometimes

FYI I'm SBNR

Religion and Sexuality

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