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I don't know anymore possible TW
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I understand this so much. I'm not sure what to say about it lol but I really get it and I know how bad it sucks but it just emphasises the point you have to be there for yourself. You have to be kind to yourself. I get really withdrawn from friends and things as well when I feel super shit but it's one of those things that you know isn't helping. Sometimes talking to your friends might boost your mood a little! Try to have a good time at your friend's house, I know it isn't that simple but yeah just try. And I'd say try to treat her the same as normal? Idk, I'm super awkward but I think she'd appreciate it if you didn't start acting all different and weird.
Sending hugs
Plus, when you're off people often think that this is a time to 'relax' and feel energised when you return, yet half the time when your mental health only worsens, you turn back up after break feeling even less okay than when you went on holiday.
Regardless, I am such a sincere believer that your mental health always comes first. That means before maths and coursework, before socialising, before anything else. I know that's a lot easier said that done, especially when other people have expectations of you, like messages piling up (this is certainly something I struggle with too
I'm glad that despite this, you have mustered the strength to meet your friend for a sleepover, especially given that you're so mentally drained atm, this is very impressive of you
I'm wondering if you want to talk more about what has led to your mental health getting worse and worse? (whether that's about lack of support or anything else)
Huge hugs xx
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with your mental health. It can be tough when you have people around you, but it still feels like you have no one to turn to.
It's okay if you're not able to do everything all at once. Try not to be too hard on yourself and focus on what you can do in the moment. It's also okay to ask for extensions or additional support from your teachers if you need it. Remember that your mental health is important, and prioritize taking care of yourself as best as you can. You don't have to go through this alone, and there is always hope for healing and improvement.
Couldn't agree more, half the time the prospect of meeting up and actually doing the socialising feels a lot harder but once you're there you can certainly enjoy yourself a lot and feel immense love for the people around you
That is beyond understandable @Chloe234 , these types of grief are so deeply painful and only one year after her loss, of course that anguish is going to remain very acute and it's usually all the worse when it has been a year. Sometimes, the time passes quickly, yet you never know the impact it will have upon you
Additionally, when you have such a multitude of distractions coming from school, sometimes in the form of positive support, but also in the form of straight-up distractions, it can be easier to 'forget' or subdue some of the bubbling mental health needs under the surface, but once you're free to just be totally you on your own, it's like you're forced to confront the depth of your emotions, with nothing to hide behind. It sounds extremely mentally draining for you, Chloe. Plus, when dreams like this start to plague you, it's like you're suffering from waking nights all the time, which just makes life that much more exhausting all around !
I know you've been back for the last couple of days, how has it been at school? xx
Thank you for reaching out to the discussion boards for help and advice from your peers. I'm sorry to hear that you're not receiving the help and support you deserve from your family and school. It can be hard to rely on a service just to end up not being able to use it later on.
I hear your mental health has taken a turn for the worse, I want you to know that despite relapsing it's incredibly brave of you to have reached out for help both here and at your school. I can see how your friend's comment might have made you feel uncomfortable. Do you think that maybe you could talk about it with her to establish healthy boundaries when it comes to discussing topics such as these that could eventually trigger you?
I'm going to use this space to link some resources that might help you manage the stress and anxiety you're feeling right now.
There is an organisation called Student Minds. They are a mental health charity specifically for students. They empower students and members of the community to look after their own mental health, support others and create change. They also have a blog dedicated to student mental heath and university life. This is a space where you can connect in with other students to share your tips and advice and get some tips too. You can visit their website at www.studentminds.org.uk
Students Against Depression is a website run by students for students regarding mental health. They offer clinically approved advice, information, guidance and resources for students with low moods, suicidal thoughts and depression. They have a range of self-help resources available to help manage feelings of anxiety and depression. Their website is https://www.studentsagainstdepression.org/
Stress and Anxiety Companion is an NHS-approved mental health app for managing work-related stress and anxiety. The app provides tools, guides and practical exercises built around proven CBT. The app is available to download on both the Apple app store and Google Play.
Let us know how you've been doing
Sending hugs
I know you must feel dreadful after the relapse, especially when you play such a critical role in holding your family together and making sure their okay, whilst also having friends not really 'get it' and thinking that by praising you for not SHing they are helping you. Having to navigate all of this whilst being impossibly frustrated by your ever-declining mental health must make coping on the day-to-day so awful and leave you feeling so hopeless
I think the point you make about being the rock for your family is especially important, because it shows how people can say the 'right' things about being there for you but when it actually comes to a crisis or a low moment, they are nowhere to be seen. Leaving you feeling all the more isolated and less likely to reach out for support the next time that you feel so deeply depressed. Plus, you're then burdened with a lot of responsibility in terms of ensuring that everyone in your family is happy and even though it's a brilliant trait to be kind and compassionate to those around you, this does not mean that you don't deserve the exact same treatment that you give them
In terms of the test, it must have felt like being kicked whilst your down to get a result you're not happy with, I'm curious, was the teacher able to offer any support either emotional or academic to try to help you at the moment?
It also feels like your friend's words and 'jokes' have really affected you, I mean, it's no wonder you were so triggered by that. Often people feel like they are being supportive by saying 'don't self-harm' or 'well-done' when you haven't and for some this may be useful. Nevertheless, for many people, it's a lot more complex than this and having your MH spoken about in such a trivial way (i.e., 'where do you do it?') can feel all the more alienating, like people are never truly going to understand what SHing means to you and why relapsing is so significant.
I'm here to talk more about how self-harming makes you feel if you'd like?
Once again, thank you so much for coming back to me, no matter how much time passes, I am always very grateful to hear you! Huge hugs xxx