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FordRanger
Posts: 1,304 Wise Owl
in Work & Study
I am 22 years old, finished college recently and I have no idea what to do with my life. I feel down and worried a lot about my future. I feel like a bit unmotivated atm and I feel like atm I'm not going to get anywhere. I gave been feeling a bit hopeless the past few months. I have no one to properly speak to, I think this is one of the only places I can talk to. I still live at home. I just don’t know know when or even if things will get better. I have no gf, I'm still a virgin too, I only just finished college but dont know what to do next. I have next to no mates. I have had famliy issues too.
I just don’t know what to do now ive finished college, I could get a job but I dont want to do anything that I don't like. Apprenticeships are hard to get plus I might have to go back to college which I don't want to do since I have been at college recently and didn't like it at all. Now I don't know what I could do, atm I have nothing just at home which isn't ideal. I just feel down
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I also noticed that you mentioned about not having a gf and still living at home. Things do take time to happen and they often dont happen as quickly as we think they do, or want them to. Have you tried going to any clubs or group activities in your area?. This could be a good place to start. I also know there are lots of dating websites too you could use if you are currently looking for a relationship.
I'm sorry to hear that you feel like you have no one to talk to at the moment and that you have been dealing with a lot of family issues. It can be hard when you feel like you have got no one to talk to about how you are feeling and this can cause anxiety too. I just wanted to say that I am always on here if you ever want to talk about anything in particular or need some support
I understand that college must have been tough for you and you didn't really enjoy it there. I noticed you said about getting a job, and that sounds very interesting. I know that if you are interested in a job, there should be a lot of summer jobs you can get at the moment. I know a website called Indeed and it shows jobs online in your local area and this also includes jobs that are part time. I know volunteering can also be another thing and it can be very good to put onto your cv for experience. A lot of places nowadays offer volunteering. It's a great way of learning experience and also getting to socialise with others and make friends. (I have done something similar with volunteering where I volunteered in a charity shop, and it helped to boost my confidence skills).
I hope this helps, sending hugs
Amy22
Hey, I hear you. We have a choice of so many things to do that it's hard to know what to choose! If you don't know exactly what you want to do, that's okay - you're not alone in feeling that. It sounds like things aren't easy for you at the moment. I think getting a job will be a useful tool here - you'll start making some progress to figuring out what you want to do, you'll meet people on the job, dating is much easier when you're earning money, and you'll be able to afford to move out (if that's something you want to do).
First things first, I think that you should consider why you want to do all this. Figuring out the reason and purpose that you want to work helps us to generate that motivation, and I think that's a very useful asset to have. What do you care about, and how does getting a job help you to achieve those goals or care for those things/people?
I think it's good to explore options - what kind of things do you like? What are your strengths/weaknesses? Prefer an office job, or something on the go? Do you like dealing with people? What do people you know, or those you find interesting, do for a living? There's some good tests online that help you to figure this out, but there are also some career advisors out there that can help here.
However, I also think it's important to be practical. While you're figuring this out, you still need to start earning money and get experience. It doesn't have to be in the industry you want to be in, but doing something is better than nothing. Crucially, doing some kind of job also helps you to figure out what you want - maybe you thought that you couldn't deal with people, but you find out that you're pretty good at it! Thinking helps you figure out some career stuff, but I find that nothing beats actual experience.
Those are a few things off the top of my head, but happy to talk about this more over PM if you'd find it useful!
Fundamentally, both of these ideas are short-term ideas that are rooted in giving yourself time to explore next steps. It's often hard to consider what direction to head in after college because there is a lot of pressure to 'find yourself' quickly. But sometimes this leads to us making decisions we aren't even happy with for the sake of feeling successful. I know this advice is often a cliché to hear, but you deserve to let yourself breathe for a bit before forcing yourself to make a quick decision
Thanks for sharing. I think in this day and age we put so much pressure on ourselves to be successful, whether that be career or relationships, to have done things by a certain age etc. Like AislingDM said, rushing to get into things could in turn make you feel more unhappy because you are not feeling fulfilled in that job. Jobs can be good to fill time, meet new people, earn money, but you can also feel very trapped. It depends what you want from it really. There is no pressure to figure out your life just yet, you've just finished college so give yourself time. After all, people change career paths in their 50's.
It may be a good exercise to write your name in the middle of a sheet of paper, and do a mind map of yourself. Anything that springs to mind, any interests you have, it could be something as small as what your favourite colour is. I did this through lockdown and it helped me to gain some insight into myself and what I was all about. Then you can see what jobs are out there for what you have written down.
Travelling to a new place may offer you insight into what you want to do next?
If you feel up to it, would you be able to elaborate more on the family issues you have had?
It's so important to live in the moment and not get caught up with pressures or anxieties of the future
Take care and good luck with everything
Hi atm, I'm OK, my college offered me a motorvehcle course at their other campus so I've started that
How are you currently finding starting the motor vehicle course at your college's other campus? We are here for you if you would like to share more with us
Unfortunately I got withdrawn off the course, I made a discussion on what happened here https://community.themix.org.uk/discussion/3601339/college#latest
I think I just need to find something else and do well with that.