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I Need Ur Opinion on Smthn
KikiDee
Posts: 3 Newbie
Hello,
Tbh, I'm not sure what I'm doing rn. I just feel confused and a little desperate to sorting myself out. 2021 has been one hell of a year. Other than covid-19, my parents spent the first half of the year arguing and fighting nonstop, and the other half I moved into a new school (which was a terrible choice as this curriculum has caused me so much stress).
I think I might have an anxiety disorder. Whenever I feel stressed about something small, like being late to a movie, I would always end up losing control and over-reacting to it. Whenever there's an exam week, I'd always wind up unreasonably sad and hopeless even though my grades are always acceptable. Whenever something stressful or bad is over, my mind would always act like a human calendar and get anxious and worried about the next upcoming worst-event even though they might be months away. I feel like I'm making up problems and excuses for myself, and I'm just so frustrated at the fact that I can't do anything properly. Sometimes I feel like I'm a fraud, that the people around me only get to see the show I put on, and sometimes this makes me feel like a terrible person. Am I just being fake and dramatic?
Tbh, I'm not sure what I'm doing rn. I just feel confused and a little desperate to sorting myself out. 2021 has been one hell of a year. Other than covid-19, my parents spent the first half of the year arguing and fighting nonstop, and the other half I moved into a new school (which was a terrible choice as this curriculum has caused me so much stress).
I think I might have an anxiety disorder. Whenever I feel stressed about something small, like being late to a movie, I would always end up losing control and over-reacting to it. Whenever there's an exam week, I'd always wind up unreasonably sad and hopeless even though my grades are always acceptable. Whenever something stressful or bad is over, my mind would always act like a human calendar and get anxious and worried about the next upcoming worst-event even though they might be months away. I feel like I'm making up problems and excuses for myself, and I'm just so frustrated at the fact that I can't do anything properly. Sometimes I feel like I'm a fraud, that the people around me only get to see the show I put on, and sometimes this makes me feel like a terrible person. Am I just being fake and dramatic?
2
Comments
Welcome to The Mix's community. It is great to see you have joined us. I really appreciate that you have already found the courage to reach out to us! I am proud of you for being able to name your feelings and what you have been experiencing.
It sounds really tough for you that you have witnessed your parents arguing and fighting regularly. Have you got support with this now? Please know that we are here for you if you would like to talk to us more about this (e.g. what it looks and feels like) and so are Childline (https://www.childline.org.uk/).
The transition to a new school also sounds really tough. Transitions are always difficult but I can imagine particularly so if you are also experiencing difficulties at home. Would you like to talk to us about what struggles you have been experiencing with the curriculum? We may be able to help you directly with the curriculum or at least point you in the direction of some resources which might help.
I can hear that both of these things must be really tough for you. I'm not surprised to hear you may be experiencing some anxiety and stress. Are you able to talk to your school's pastoral team about how you are feeling? I think they could be useful! You might also benefit from some external resources which include:
- Mind (https://www.mind.org.uk/)
- Childline (https://www.childline.org.uk/)
- Samaritans (call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org)
- Shout (text 'SHOUT' to 85258)
We are always here for you, listening to you, and caring about you
It's such a pleasure to meet you and have you here as part of The Mix community! Thank you for reaching out to us. I'm so sorry to hear about your parents arguing and you moving to a new school, that seems really stressful for you. I wonder if you've got anyone you close to you that you trust to talk to about this?
Anxiety can be a very difficult thing to cope with, so please know you're not alone and you're doing the best you can. If you feel anxious and are worried you have an anxiety disorder, it may be beneficial (if you can), to contact your GP and discuss this with them.
I want you to know that I believe you, and I don't think you're making things up or making excuses for yourself, you're dealing with difficult situations, and you're doing the best you can, and that's all anyone can ask of you. Imposter syndrome can be a really difficult thing to cope with, particularly if you're already feeling anxious about most areas of your life, but I don't think you're fake or being dramatic, your brain has a lot to cope with and deal with right now, so just know you're not alone, and we believe you.
Sending you lots of love, and always remember we're always here for you to reach out whenever you need