If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Homeschooling w/autism? - ADVICE NEEDED
Tigger2001
Posts: 15 Settling in
Hi All
My mother just called me with a predicament.
My lovely sister who is just 14 and has not attended school for a whole school term now and the amount of school work she has missed is very daunting and causing severe anxiety. With her mental health declining as her struggles with autism is making it impossible for her to attend school and complete her assignments, my mother came to me with a question which I am hoping this awesome community can assist me with:
Is home schooling a good idea - what are your experiences with it?
And do you have any tips or any resources like charities you know of that could help?
She is in contact with her schools support worker who simply does not understand her needs as the lady is not trained in dealing with the complexity of autism and is suggesting unrealistic actions for my sister to do at this point in time. As well as her GP who simply said that as her issues are school related, she should seek help from her school.
My mother hopes that by taking away the pressure of school and exams, my sister can focus on herself and learn in a less stressful environment that can be flexible to her needs.
Please let me know your thoughts on this.
My mother just called me with a predicament.
My lovely sister who is just 14 and has not attended school for a whole school term now and the amount of school work she has missed is very daunting and causing severe anxiety. With her mental health declining as her struggles with autism is making it impossible for her to attend school and complete her assignments, my mother came to me with a question which I am hoping this awesome community can assist me with:
Is home schooling a good idea - what are your experiences with it?
And do you have any tips or any resources like charities you know of that could help?
She is in contact with her schools support worker who simply does not understand her needs as the lady is not trained in dealing with the complexity of autism and is suggesting unrealistic actions for my sister to do at this point in time. As well as her GP who simply said that as her issues are school related, she should seek help from her school.
My mother hopes that by taking away the pressure of school and exams, my sister can focus on herself and learn in a less stressful environment that can be flexible to her needs.
Please let me know your thoughts on this.
Post edited by JustV on
2
Comments
Good luck
It can be really hard to reintegrate into the school environment, particularly when mental health declines, so I really empathise with you and your sister. Does your sisters school not have a SENCo Coordinator? They should be able to support your sister in adjusting certain situations or environments to make school life a little easier but also allow her the same opportunities as her peers. Schools are actually required to make any reasonable adjustments to accommodate your sister within the school environment, so this is really disappointing.
I'm so sorry the support worker isn't providing the right support or help! I wonder if you know what your sister's opinion on this is? Whether she'd prefer to be home-schooled or within the school environment. I guess it also depends on how her she is with forming and maintaining relationships, being around others may help her with her social skills and confidence, but if she's struggling and it's causing her more distress and upset, it may be beneficial to consider home-schooling. This doesn't mean she has to stay home-schooled forever of course. Also, I am wondering how she copes with sensory stimuli? Is it easy for her to become overwhelmed by too much noise or bright lights for example?
Another option, if you would prefer for your sister to stay within education, you could maybe try and access a referral from a professional to an educational psychologist, they can carry out assessments within the educational setting, they can then help figure out what your sister's needs are and how teachers can adjust to help give her the best opportunities within school.
Furthermore, if you feel like school is still an option, you could maybe create a plan of easing your sister back into school with her teachers. This could mean she just starts going back for a few hours a day to settle back into a routine, until she feels ready and safe enough to go for the full day. It may also be helpful to teach your sister some relaxation techniques that can help her when she's struggling with her anxiety being consuming this can be as simple as breathing techniques i.e. 5 deep breaths in, pause for three seconds, 5 deep breaths out etc.
Also ensuring you let the teachers know what your sisters preferred form of communication is may be beneficial, it may make classes a little easier i.e. some autistic individuals prefer visual symbols to help them understand instead of verbal cues. It can also be helpful to create a safe space for your sister to go to if she feels overwhelmed or distressed to allow her the time to calm down and not feel overloaded, this is where the SENCo coordinator will come into play, ensuring this is sorted out for your sister.
Of course, it's quite common for some people with autism to be home-schooled, really it depends upon how you and your sister feel, and whether the professionals are able to help support your sister within a school environment.
I hope this helps, I've done a course in understanding Autism, so I luckily do have these helpful tips on hand.
Sending love to you all!
Thanks for your post. It would seem that our wonderful community has already provided you with some support. Do you have any questions about any of the responses you have already received?
In addition to the wonderful support already provided by @gurpreetb and @Brookee, I have some words of wisdom. First, though, I would just like to reassure you that whilst I don't have all the answers, my response is informed by my own diagnosis of autism and my Master's degree in special educational needs and disabilities.
Does your sister have an education, health, and care plan (EHCP)? If not, your mum could apply for this for your sister by contacting your local authority. The school could support your mum with this. If your sister already has an EHCP plan, are the school already implementing the most effective supports or could more support be put in place to support your sister with managing school?
On the flip side, it is not my place to comment on whether homeschooling is a good idea since everyone will respond in different ways. It might be a good idea first to think about making a pro's and cons list. You and your mum will know your sister best.
Some charities which could support you further include:
- The National Autistic Society (https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/education-choices/england/home-educating)
- Scope (https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/homeschooling/)
- Sky Badger (https://skybadger.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Home-education-advice.pdf). I have a confession to make with this one though and that is it was me who created this resource!
I hope this helps but if you have any further questions or just need a listening ear, please know we are here for you
Thank you for all of your suggestions.
I have spoken to mum about it and have let her know your thoughts on it. She has contacted the headteacher of the school so hopefully, comms can improve.
My sister does not leave the house, she hasn't been eating and sleeps from 12pm to 6pm as she cannot sleep during the night at all. She cannot cope speaking to people for longer than a few sentences before she has a full meltdown and panic attack. And then during those few sentences, you cannot look at her or talk to her about nearly everything without her screaming and running to her room. She only talks to my parents when she needs food to which she can only shout the word food a few times before again, breaking down because food was not available straight away in that moment.
She has missed a lot of school so she is stressed about being behind and gets overwhelmed by the thought of having to catch up and do her GCSEs exams after. Its so overwhelming that trying to do any school work is impossible. My mother's thought process is that if the stress of catching up and exams is removed by home schooling, she can focus on what she is able to do and is interested in in a flexible way and can work on her issues in a safe environment when she feels able to. And she will have the option to do her GCSE in college when she is older if she did want to do it later in life.
Her school wants her to attend school physically even to get meetings with her support worker person and that is a unrealistic expectation at this point in time. Which they seem to not comprehend even though they have seen her in person and how simple tasks effect her. I have made some ground with her and managed to have a longer conversation with her recently but it is a minefield.
School has talked about a robot so that she can join remotely but still "be present" with a robot in her place so she can still attend classes virtually. So that's the plan for now and we will see how that goes. But I'm not sure if given all of the issues, that it will solve it. as it has been so traumatic for her and with her sleeping pattern, it may be a struggle. But like i said, we are going to give it a shot. Wish her luck! I am really hoping it orks but I don't want her to be stressedu anymore about it.
That sounds really difficult. I wonder if any professional has contacted you or your mum about her being referred to an occupational therapist or language specialist, as they may be able to help her in terms of eating, sleeping and helping ease her into communicating with others in a way that takes into account her needs and preferences.
I understand that missing school must be incredibly overwhelming and distressing for her. Your mum does have a very logical point of view in terms of how overwhelming the exams are. I think it's completely up to your mum and your sister what they feel is best. If the school is not making any adaptions or even trying to empathise with your sisters situations that's very upsetting and negligent of them.
That seems very frustrating. It seems like they aren't even trying to understand what's happening, which is very infuriating by the sounds of it. I'm really sorry they're not being as helpful as you'd like. Your sister's support worker should have a more extensive understanding of what your sister is going through, and should be adapting this support in a way that meets your sisters needs at this point in time i.e. setting up zoom calls with her or your mum.
I hope this new plan goes well and they continue to adapt these to meet your sisters needs! I hope this helps ease her anxiety and distress a little. Remember we're always here for you, and it's the schools duty of care to help her have the same opportunities and accessibility as her peers.
Sending love to you both
Thanks for your response. I am sorry for my delayed response, I was offline last week. How have things been for you and your family since?
If your sister is still struggling with sleeping and eating, a few external resources which might be useful include:
- Scope’s sleep right service (https://www.scope.org.uk/family-services/sleep-right/)
- The National Autistic Society’s information about eating (https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/eating/all-audiences)
- The National Autistic Society’s information about sleeping (https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/physical-health/sleep/parents)
I think underpinning the advice in all of these resources is identifying the triggers for her sleeping and eating difficulties. It would seem stress is a key part in that so I think once the stress is managed these other difficulties might also become reduced.
Based on your most recent response, things sound really tough for all of you. However, it seems like your mum has thought things through thoroughly which is always a great starting place. If things were to be successful with the headteacher, I would like to think that other staff members would be more understanding. However, if this is not the case or it goes less well, please know that it will be ok. Your mum’s next point of call in the second instance would be to make contact with the local authority.
It sounds like you are also making really important decisions and helping your mum to take care of your sister. I know you might just say that is what siblings do and are for but I think you are a super sibling! Are you receiving the support you need? Is there anything on your mind that we might be able to support you with?
I am here, I am listening and I care about all of you!