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I find it hard to spend money

AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,851 Extreme Poster
in General Chat
I like to think that I'm quite a frugal person, only spending money where I need to and that I've budgeted for. The trouble is, I find it quite difficult to spend any non-essential money on myself, to the point where even buying a cheap lunch for myself as a one-off is a mental battle because it's cheaper to prepare something from home. I think the logic behind it is that an extra £3 spent on lunch is £3 I could be spending on paying down debt, increasing my savings, or giving to charity.

However, I'm not as concerned when it comes to spending on others. I'm happy to buy birthday gifts for friends and family, as long as I can afford it! But if I were to buy that exact same item for myself, I'm far less forgiving.

Would be interested to hear what other people think of this? Has anyone else felt like this, and how do you deal with it?
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @Azziman Hello! I'm really sorry that this is causing you distress.

    I understand why you feel hesitant to spend money, and I think a lot of worries around spending money comes from previous trauma around it i.e. debts. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but It's totally okay to spend money on yourself now and again. You deserve it. I know it's hard, I have been through a similar situation and I still struggle to fight my brain on spending some money on myself, I too feel like I should be saving it, in case something bad happens and I have no money to fall back on.

    I feel like this is just something you have to be gentle with yourself about. Maybe start with something inexpensive and work through these feelings slowly. It will probably take time but it's important you allow yourself these luxuries every so often. You really do deserve it.

    Sending you love <3
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    Eleasha27Eleasha27 Posts: 5 Confirmed not a robot
    Found this really interesting as I sometimes experience similar feelings myself, often finding it easy to spend money on other people but feel guilty when I spend the same amount on myself. I think it’s important to remember that everyone deserves a treat every now and again so don’t be too hard on yourself <3
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    AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,851 Extreme Poster
    Brookee wrote: »
    @Azziman Hello! I'm really sorry that this is causing you distress.

    I understand why you feel hesitant to spend money, and I think a lot of worries around spending money comes from previous trauma around it i.e. debts. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but It's totally okay to spend money on yourself now and again. You deserve it. I know it's hard, I have been through a similar situation and I still struggle to fight my brain on spending some money on myself, I too feel like I should be saving it, in case something bad happens and I have no money to fall back on.

    I feel like this is just something you have to be gentle with yourself about. Maybe start with something inexpensive and work through these feelings slowly. It will probably take time but it's important you allow yourself these luxuries every so often. You really do deserve it.

    Sending you love <3

    Thank you so much! I know you're right, I've noticed that I have been disciplining myself a lot lately. Objectively, I know I can afford to spend a little more on myself. Went shopping just today and got myself a treat :)

    Much love <3
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    RileyRiley Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    Honestly I really relate to what you're talking about here @Azziman mainly because I spent so many years without any real income it's always been difficult for me to spend even a small amount on myself. I love all the bits of advice others have given you in this thread and I'd like to echo what Brookee and Eleasha27 have said 100%!

    I'm really glad to hear that you've managed to turn things around a little and get yourself a little treat the other day, what did you end up buying if you don't mind me asking? Hopefully this is the first step towards treating yourself with the kindness you deserve. :mrgreen:
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    AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,851 Extreme Poster
    Riley wrote: »
    Honestly I really relate to what you're talking about here @Azziman mainly because I spent so many years without any real income it's always been difficult for me to spend even a small amount on myself. I love all the bits of advice others have given you in this thread and I'd like to echo what Brookee and Eleasha27 have said 100%!

    I'm really glad to hear that you've managed to turn things around a little and get yourself a little treat the other day, what did you end up buying if you don't mind me asking? Hopefully this is the first step towards treating yourself with the kindness you deserve. :mrgreen:

    I saw a cheese and onion pastry that I had my eye on for a couple of weeks. It's nothing too special, but felt like a big step to allow myself to have that luxury :)
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @Azziman This is so lovely to see!

    I'm so pleased you've treated yourself! It's incredible to see!
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    RileyRiley Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    Aww that's certainly a big step @Azziman I'm glad you were able to treat yourself like that!
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