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Some personal ramblings for World Suicide Prevention Day
JustV
Community Manager Posts: 5,306 Part of The Furniture
TW: discussion of suicide (no details)
World Suicide Prevention Day is this Friday, and in the spirit of openness and vulnerability, I wanted to share some personal thoughts and anecdotes from my life. Just rambling really.
Experiences and observations from my life
I'm lucky not to have lost anyone close to me to suicide, but it's been present in my life for a long time. My mum lost a couple of close friends and my lifelong best friend recently lost a parent - all men. I've also lost friends I went to school with. I know a lot more people who have had suicidal thoughts but not acted on them, or are now in recovery. And honestly just saying all this is a bit surreal, because that's a lot of people struggling with and dying of something preventable that - even now - nobody talks openly about.
I grew up in a deprived rural town in Cornwall, which has the highest poverty rates in the UK. Something I learned growing up there is that just the sheer lack of opportunity and financial stress can be enough to send your mental health spiraling. A lot of people think things like suicide and addiction have to be the result of something shocking or complicated like trauma, but sometimes it's just because life feels bleak.
Researchers coined the phrase 'diseases of despair' to describe suicide, overdosing, and alcoholic liver failure, because that's exactly what they are. They're not random or caused by weakness - they're a natural result of feeling unhappy, disconnected, and hopeless. And they're completely preventable.
A sidenote here: if you can vote, vote for people who support social welfare, a higher minimum wage, and funding for public and community services. These things can dramatically improve the lives of people from underprivileged backgrounds, and quite literally save lives.
You're a role model for everyone around you
Something I've learned is that we underestimate the impact our own behaviour has on other people. I used to think role modelling was all about setting an example to younger siblings or people in the year below at school. But that's not true. The truth is we all take our social cues from people around us, which makes us all role models.
By setting an example of openness and vulnerability to the people around you - especially men - you can make it easier for them to reach out for support. It's much less scary to share that you're depressed or feeling suicidal when other people around you have done the same thing, because at least then you know it's safe to talk about it, and you won't be seen as weak (this is by far the biggest shame trigger for men).
Being vulnerable and open about your mental health doesn't just help you - it might help the people around you too. You never know who's waiting on the sidelines, ready to reach out once they know it's safe.
It's good to challenge others on their problematic views
This also applies to modelling compassion to those who are struggling. If you're in a situation where the people around you are saying things like 'suicide is selfish' or 'he just needs to man up', try challenging them. You could say 'they must be really hurting, I wonder what's going on for them' or 'having suicidal thoughts is actually quite common'. It takes courage to do this, but in my experience it really can change people's views.
People don't become open-minded overnight, and that's okay. I've been there myself - I've had problematic views about things and one person challenging me on it has made me reflect on them, even if I was dismissive at first. Then over time, my opinions changed completely. I'm glad those people called me on my BS, and it's made me more open to changing my views now.
If you're mentally well and come from privilege, it's more important for you to do this so the responsibility isn't on those who are already struggling to do all the fighting themselves.
Final thoughts
If you identify as male, your voice is very powerful when it comes to mental health. Regardless of whether you have experience with suicidal thoughts or depression, being generally open about your emotions could empower others to do the same. To the men here already doing that: keep fighting the good fight. 💪
I'm not really sure where I wanted to go with this. I suppose I just wanted to share a bit about my experience and some of the things I've learned along the way. Thanks for listening.
World Suicide Prevention Day is this Friday, and in the spirit of openness and vulnerability, I wanted to share some personal thoughts and anecdotes from my life. Just rambling really.
Experiences and observations from my life
I'm lucky not to have lost anyone close to me to suicide, but it's been present in my life for a long time. My mum lost a couple of close friends and my lifelong best friend recently lost a parent - all men. I've also lost friends I went to school with. I know a lot more people who have had suicidal thoughts but not acted on them, or are now in recovery. And honestly just saying all this is a bit surreal, because that's a lot of people struggling with and dying of something preventable that - even now - nobody talks openly about.
I grew up in a deprived rural town in Cornwall, which has the highest poverty rates in the UK. Something I learned growing up there is that just the sheer lack of opportunity and financial stress can be enough to send your mental health spiraling. A lot of people think things like suicide and addiction have to be the result of something shocking or complicated like trauma, but sometimes it's just because life feels bleak.
Researchers coined the phrase 'diseases of despair' to describe suicide, overdosing, and alcoholic liver failure, because that's exactly what they are. They're not random or caused by weakness - they're a natural result of feeling unhappy, disconnected, and hopeless. And they're completely preventable.
A sidenote here: if you can vote, vote for people who support social welfare, a higher minimum wage, and funding for public and community services. These things can dramatically improve the lives of people from underprivileged backgrounds, and quite literally save lives.
You're a role model for everyone around you
Something I've learned is that we underestimate the impact our own behaviour has on other people. I used to think role modelling was all about setting an example to younger siblings or people in the year below at school. But that's not true. The truth is we all take our social cues from people around us, which makes us all role models.
By setting an example of openness and vulnerability to the people around you - especially men - you can make it easier for them to reach out for support. It's much less scary to share that you're depressed or feeling suicidal when other people around you have done the same thing, because at least then you know it's safe to talk about it, and you won't be seen as weak (this is by far the biggest shame trigger for men).
Being vulnerable and open about your mental health doesn't just help you - it might help the people around you too. You never know who's waiting on the sidelines, ready to reach out once they know it's safe.
It's good to challenge others on their problematic views
This also applies to modelling compassion to those who are struggling. If you're in a situation where the people around you are saying things like 'suicide is selfish' or 'he just needs to man up', try challenging them. You could say 'they must be really hurting, I wonder what's going on for them' or 'having suicidal thoughts is actually quite common'. It takes courage to do this, but in my experience it really can change people's views.
People don't become open-minded overnight, and that's okay. I've been there myself - I've had problematic views about things and one person challenging me on it has made me reflect on them, even if I was dismissive at first. Then over time, my opinions changed completely. I'm glad those people called me on my BS, and it's made me more open to changing my views now.
If you're mentally well and come from privilege, it's more important for you to do this so the responsibility isn't on those who are already struggling to do all the fighting themselves.
Final thoughts
If you identify as male, your voice is very powerful when it comes to mental health. Regardless of whether you have experience with suicidal thoughts or depression, being generally open about your emotions could empower others to do the same. To the men here already doing that: keep fighting the good fight. 💪
I'm not really sure where I wanted to go with this. I suppose I just wanted to share a bit about my experience and some of the things I've learned along the way. Thanks for listening.
All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
Post edited by JustV on
9
Comments
This was so sweet to read! I have lost someone to suicide but their wish was to be in heaven! but That was really heart warming and It has made my night so thank you
Khia
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