Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.

Feeling a little teary (tw: possible trauma and self harm mentions)

Mumucookie02Mumucookie02 Posts: 12 Settling in
I'm not quite sure if it's hormones or an overwhelming amount of emotion but I told someone my trauma story today for the first time and I guess ever since then I've felt super emotional. I know trauma is something that triggers many emotions even after the actual traumatic event, but I guess it felt like reliving the experience of the last 2 years. I love this community but sometimes some of the posts move me and I guess it's because I'm quite sensitive or I guess more feeling about that kinda thing, but I just wanted to share that. Sometimes you go through something you didn't at the time realise was so painful but it hits you later and when you know that you can't confront the people involved it's quite hurtful and difficult to move past all the emotions. Sometimes I feel like I'll be too much for my current partner because I fear my past so heavily that talking to him makes me fear things will end the same way they did with my previous partner. Even though my current partner is incredibly sweet and hurts when I hurt and loves when I love. I guess it's not so simple to move on from the past when you've been broken over and over. I'm not fragile. I pick myself up and dust myself off every time but I do have to admit that sometimes I feel like too much.

Comments

  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    edited July 2021
    Seems like a natural way to be feeling after discussing something that's so raw to you. I hope talking about it helped you in some meaningful way, or if it hasn't, that it will start to soon. You're not wrong about how things can often seem delayed in their effect on you, I have some personal experience with that. And with me I think that delayed nature of it hurt me even further since, its always on my mind that "I should be over it by now." -- not sure whether that statement applies to you too.

    Seems like another natural reaction to feel like it might be too much for your partner. But in truth all that should really matter is, are you both happy with each other now? If the answer to that is yes, then try not to read into too much of anything else, because you'll open yourself up to self sabotaging thoughts. Don't deny yourself a good thing that makes you happy and try to trust that if things seem okay, they likely are. :)

    All the best to you Mumu
  • AnnieDPAnnieDP Posts: 22 Boards Initiate
    edited July 2021
    The first time you speak about something traumatic can trigger emotions you weren't aware were lingering so close to the surface, so it makes total sense that you feel emotional. You should feel so proud of yourself for finding the strength to open up about your experiences, because getting started with that healing can be extremely difficult, but you've managed to do it!

    It's also normal to feel like you're 'too much' when you've been through a lot, but if your partner is happy and willing to be there, it shows that you're not too much at all. I have similar insecurities, so I understand, but you deserve to be happy and thrive in your relationship :)
  • Rose124Rose124 Posts: 69 Boards Initiate
    Please don’t worry nor fret, these feelings of overwhelming emotions that you are feeling are incredibly normal. Whenever we go through traumatic experiences in life, we are left with residing emotions that can either hit us really strongly after the brain has taken some time to process what has happened, or can hit us straight away and still be left remaining in our system even after the event has passed, and this is all incredibly normal and natural. I think the best thing to do when you are feeling emotionally vulnerable is to be kind to yourself and to take care of yourself - for example, if you feel as if taking a break from The Mix would really help benefit you mentally, then you go do that :) Whatever makes you feel happy, loved and safe should be your main priorities at the moment.

    As in terms of your partner and you, it is also incredibly natural to fear the past and to struggle with trusting the strength of your relationship with your new partner. But, as always i like to remind people that the past is in the past, and that the person you are with is not your ex, they’re someone entirely different so please don’t worry as you really don’t need too (even though I know that’s probably easier said than done). Also, if your current partner ends things after you have spoken to them about your feelings and thoughts then you really don’t deserve them, as you deserve someone who will stick with you through thick and thin and love you no matter what.

    Wishing you all the best and sending lots of virtual hugs your way.

  • lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
    edited August 2021
    Hi @Mumucookie02

    I agree with what Supernova said here. :3
    Supernova wrote: »
    You're not wrong about how things can often seem delayed in their effect on you
    People respond to traumatic experiences very differently: some might be immediate and some might be delayed, so we may experience certain emotions things or have a random emotional burst and not really know why. Does that make sense? <3

    I'm so glad you found the courage to share your traumatic experience with someone! It's natural to feel emotional after sharing something traumatic. As Annie puts it here:
    AnnieDP wrote: »
    The first time you speak about something traumatic can trigger emotions you weren't aware were lingering so close to the surface, so it makes total sense that you feel emotional.

    I hope you're doing well! <3
    Sending lots of hugs and support!
    0003.gif
Sign In or Register to comment.