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I'm dating a gambler, what should i do to help him?

ZikusZikus Posts: 2 Literally just got here
This discussion was created from comments split from: Gambling Problem.

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  • ZikusZikus Posts: 2 Literally just got here
    I`m dating gambler, what should i do to help him?
    We started dating when we were in our twenties. Even then I knew he was playing around. But it was for love, and we started a family. At the time, I simply had no idea how serious the problem was. It turns out that he started playing at the age of 12-14. He used to go into slot clubs without much of an obstacle, and then he started playing online as well. His uncle, who frequented them, was an addict and played online games. My boyfriend watched this and apparently wanted easy money too
  • coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 1,058 Wise Owl
    Hi @Zikus,

    Thank for sharing this with us. I'm glad you decided to get this off your chest :smile:

    It's kind of you to want to help your boyfriend. Understandably too, as I'm sure this impacts your relationship in some way. Do be mindful, however, that you don't put too much responsibility/pressure onto yourself :heart:

    My first question is have they/are they receiving any professional support at the moment? If not, encouraging them to seek support is an important first step.

    I also think communication is key. If you feel comfortable, could you sit down and have a chat about what is happening for him and ask how he would like to be supported? With addictions, this type of conversation isn't always as straight forward as I've made out. But I'm wondering how you think that conversation might go if you were to ask? :heart:
  • GemmaGemma Posts: 123
    Hi @Zikus

    Glad you reached out and shared this with us, it can be devastating to be constantly worried about someone you care about and is understandable you want to help him.

    I'm wondering if you've tried speaking with him about his gambling, getting a feel for what he thinks about it or sharing your concerns? As @coc0mac says though it's important to not put too much pressure on yourself to fix anything, you can help him explore options should he be open to it but ultimately only he can help himself.

    You're brave for reaching out and we're here for you to listen and talk with.
  • stephyb21stephyb21 Posts: 15 Settling in
    Hi @Zikus

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us, this is really brave of you to come to terms with. Understandably you want to help your boyfriend through these hard times, but keep in mind your own mental wellbeing along the way.

    I can personally relate to your experiences somewhat as I have been the partner to someone with a gambling addiction in their early twenties. In my opinion, it is important to be as understanding, open and honest with each other as possible but be aware that professional support can be a positive approach alongside giving your own support. The potential conversations you will have in regards to gambling may not be straightforward as previously mentioned, but they are a crucial turning point in accepting the problem and moving forward as a team.

    Once again, you are not in this alone and do not let the pressure of this negatively impact your mental wellbeing.
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