Response to Sarah Everard Case

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to pop post in about some events that have taken place in the last week.

The Sarah Everard case might be quite triggering for a lot of us. She was just a woman walking home who unfortunately never made it - so many of our worst nightmare.

Sometimes, bad things happen in the world, and they hit a little too close to home. It might be hard to put into words how you're feeling about this issue, what memories it might have triggered, but however you're feeling, is valid.

There are a lot of great resources if you'd like some support with an issues similar to this one. I've put a few support services in the spoiler below.

The National Stalking Helpline https://www.suzylamplugh.org/Pages/Category/national-stalking-helpline
Victim Support https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/stalking-and-harassment
Women & Girls Network (supporting those affected by gendered violence) https://www.wgn.org.uk/
Women's Aid https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

We wanted to remind you that our services are also available if you would like to talk to someone, as are our PMs

This thread is a little space to talk about how this issue might have impacted you if you'd like and maybe give some suggestions to others who may be feeling the same.

It's okay if you've felt overwhelmed by this issue being over the news and social media this week. It's always super important to take some time for yourself and practice self care - even if that means logging out of social media (I have!)

Sending you all big virtual hugs

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Comments

Dancer

*cries silently* It has really made me upset, overwhelmed and scared to leave the house on my own. Seeing everything on the news makes me angry as well. On Monday we were discussing this on Citizenship as it linked to what we were learning about. Thank you for posting this up.

independent_

As a woman, I already felt anxious being out alone. This has made that a hell of a lot worse. Because it was a police officer as well, they can’t really start telling us to stay away from policemen. We should be able to trust the police to keep us safe and not have it in the back of our minds that even they could hurt us.

Dancer

I agree that we should be able to trust the police and that we should not have to fear someone who is supposed to protect us. I don't want to have to worry about being female and being out alone in case I get hurt by anyone especially by the police. We are all here for eachother though and The Mix is a safe community.

Emma_

I agree with you both, it's scary that the people who we're taught are going to protect and help us, are the ones who cause us harm. I remember my mum telling me when I was younger, if I ever got lost, to find a policeman to help me. I'm not sure I'd do that now, but instead if I needed help in public, to speak to someone with children

I think its important to remember that as horrible as this is, luckily things this bad are very rare. And although we shouldn't have to, there are many things we can do to help us feel safer. I often call a friend when I'm out and I don't feel safe, especially when it's dark or if I'm walking in a quiet area.

Hopefully over time things might change, but it starts with educating our dads, brothers, sonsand friends.

Sending big hugs of strength and courage

independent_

If I've ever needed help in public, I always, absolutely always try to ask a woman, or someone with kids. It's a scary world out there!

Dancer

I just bottle everything up

Emma_

Hey Hey, after recent news over the last week about the death of Sabina Nessa - another young woman just walking to meet a friend - I wanted to remind anyone who has been upset or worried about this news, that support is there.

I've popped a few supportlines below and this thread can also act as a space to vent or share thoughts

The National Stalking Helpline https://www.suzylamplugh.org/Pages/Category/national-stalking-helpline
Victim Support https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/stalking-and-harassment
Women & Girls Network (supporting those affected by gendered violence) https://www.wgn.org.uk/
Women's Aid https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

Sending a big virtual hug

Stay Safe

Former Member

I walked home at 3am the other day and was absolutely drunk and alone. I shouldn't of done that and reading the news makes me feel stupid for it tbh

AislingDM

Thank you for sharing those links @Emma_ it's really important that we all try to support each other right now

It sounds like you're feeling blame towards yourself after walking home late @GreenTea , whilst it's certainly understandable to feel fearful, especially after reading news like this, I want you to know that you could never be stupid for just going home, no matter what! It's simply terrible that people seek to take advantage of that, but this could never be your fault

I really do dream of the day where we don't have to be scared or change how we carry ourselves! xxx

Azziman

Hope they review the police force, as these are two cases amongst a series of many that have been swept under the carpet. The police are meant to protect the people, after all x

lovemimoon

I don't know how to process this because it feels so surreal.

This is something my mum taught me from a young age; it's dangerous to walk alone at night. This case has put me on edge.

AislingDM

You're so right, it's simply terrifying that people are having to be told from such a young age to be 'careful' @lovemimoon ! Of course parents often are seeking our protection when they tell us these things, but it can become frustrating to continually hear that we have to avoid 'normal' situations, just to try to prevent something that could never be our fault anyway

how are you feeling at the minute about it?