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ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,971 Community Veteran
edited May 2020 in Health & Wellbeing
If u don't think about killing urself then ur not normal r u? Bit worrying x

edited by mod to remove method of suicide
Crazy mad insane
Post edited by JustV on

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    Mel_Mel_ Posts: 574 Incredible Poster
    i wish i could turn off my thoughts, you're normal aha it's good you don't think about it
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    MaisyMaisy Moderator Posts: 634 Incredible Poster
    Hi @ellie2000

    I'm wondering what makes you feel and think this way?

    Thinking about killing yourself is often the sign of serious distress. However, some people may struggle with abuse or mental health and may not think about killing themselves. This doesn't mean that their response isn't normal, as they may still be struggling to deal with things, they just haven't thought about taking their own life. Some people find that they don't think about taking their own life, but do find they want to 'escape' in other ways. 

    Whatever is going on for you, it's important to talk about it and seek help, regardless of whether or not you are suicidal <3
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,971 Community Veteran
    edited May 2020
    I still have flashbacks of wen I was abused and rpd n it still takes a toll on my mental health today. The paranoia sets in from out of nowhere. Wen I'm feeling upset I tell ppl stuff I still hav feelings tht I'm not heard
    Wen I was bullied by a whole organisation tht was tough 😫. 8yrs untill they held their hands up.

    edited by mod to remove injury description
    Post edited by JustV on
    Crazy mad insane
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    JamJarJamJar Posts: 274 The Mix Regular
    Hey @ellie2000

    Those flashbacks sound tough and mental scars often take way longer to heal than physical ones. It's really encouraging to hear that you dont think about doing that anymore though. :)

    Have you found any coping strategies or tactics that have helped you calm your mind when these moments of paranoia set in? Maybe going outside and hearing the birds sing, or listening to music, meditating, or going for a run? 
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,971 Community Veteran
    Singing but sometimes it doesn't work 😫
    Crazy mad insane
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    Jade09Jade09 Moderator Posts: 660 Incredible Poster
    Hey there @ellie2000 I just wanted to check in with you and ask how you are doing today? I can hear you have been going through a pretty tough time so sending you lots of support.  <3
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,971 Community Veteran
    I have cats and red dead redemption 2
    Crazy mad insane
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    Jade09Jade09 Moderator Posts: 660 Incredible Poster
    Hey again Ellie! I have heard Red Dead Redemption 2 is meant to be really good, so i'm glad you have that. Do you find it can help to distract you sometimes?

    Awhh! cats! what are they called?  :)
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,971 Community Veteran
    Zigzig black and white, n Bob named after the streetcat in the book
    Crazy mad insane
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,971 Community Veteran
    Zigzig I like more 😀😀 we play together 😊
    Crazy mad insane
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    Jade09Jade09 Moderator Posts: 660 Incredible Poster
    Hey Ellie! Awh! they are cute names, it's good that you have them to keep you company I imagine.  :)

    How are things going for you today?  <3
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,971 Community Veteran
    Not sure how I'm doing. I feel most days actually tht days don't matter, tht I'm just living for living, and there's not a point whatsoever. Do stress and anxiety and trauma change wat u think of stuff?
    Crazy mad insane
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    Jade09Jade09 Moderator Posts: 660 Incredible Poster
    It's okay to not be sure on how you are doing, it can be tough sometimes to be able to understand how things are feeling for us. It makes sense how you are feeling, you describe it as "just living for living", if you have been through traumatic events or are anxious etc it can sometimes change how you feel about things. 

    What are you up too today? is there anything you could do to distract you?  <3
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,971 Community Veteran
    I was motivated to stay clean at one point, but now I hav apathy
    Crazy mad insane
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,971 Community Veteran
    I gna watch tipping point, I like it for some reason Nd then I'm goin bed. Where I can't into any poligaments (if thts the word), head feels funny :(
    Crazy mad insane
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    coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    did you enjoy watching tipping point @ellie2000? and you said your head feels funny, are you doing okay at the moment? :heart:
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,971 Community Veteran
    Wen I feel the head stuff, like image flickering of traumatic events like a flick book. I found program s tht are soothing no other game show is like tipping point x
    Crazy mad insane
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    Jade09Jade09 Moderator Posts: 660 Incredible Poster
    Hey there @ellie2000 it sounds like a really horrible thing to be experiencing images of traumatic events but we are here for you. You mentioned programs that are soothing, what other programmes do you find soothing to watch?  <3
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,971 Community Veteran
    Not sure, could you name a few 😊
    Crazy mad insane
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,971 Community Veteran
    I used to watch JK show
    Crazy mad insane
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Hey @ellie2000

    Just wanted to check in to see how you are doing? :heart:
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,971 Community Veteran
    It's my birthday in two weeks, n it's goin slow I need games ps4 Nd steam. I think I'm gonna die instead, I bet death is much more fun. PTSD playing up 😫
    Crazy mad insane
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Hey ellie! Death doesn't sound very fun. Sounds painful. Sorry your hurting so much ? <3 how are you feeling today? Going to do anything for your birthday?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,971 Community Veteran
    Hi shaunie, how's u
    Crazy mad insane
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