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Sex on the first date?

Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Posts: 1,339 Wise Owl
edited August 2020 in Sex & Relationships
I was wondering what people's thoughts were on having sex on the first date?

Do males see women differently if they do go for it and vise versa?

What do you consider pros and cons if there are any?


  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Posts: 1,339 Wise Owl
    That last part really made me giggle, I had no idea the grannies were getting more action lol and who would have know that coco pops had that sort of power 😂

    That does make me feel better lol because it's been on my mind the past few hours. The question popped up because I've been talking to this guy for a month now and things are going well 😏.  We've already had a one virtual date and we'd like to see eachother in person probably around September. That part of me wouldn't mind sex on the first date but I'm a little hesitant that it might jeopardise having a meaningful relationship that isn't motivated by hooking up. He's from up north and I'm down south so part of me is like "it's now or never". For context we've both had one sexual partner but I waited 3 months with my ex. 

    I feel like I've gone on a bit lol. Thank you for sharing and making me laugh hahaha i deffo agree with it generally being okay if the feeling is mutual. 
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Posts: 1,339 Wise Owl

    Great advice ;)
  • MikeMike 🎧 LandaanPosts: 3,614 Community Manager
    Definitely agree that as long as it's all mutual, it's totally fine. :)

    There are probably some judgemental views on it in wider society, and I've known people who (in my opinion) over-analyse that sort of thing and think about people differently as a result. But you know your partner best and, if he's a good egg, I doubt that will be an issue between you.

    As always with relationships, I feel like communication is really key in a situation like this. It's a fair worry that it might create a relationship motivated by hooking up, but being open with each other about what that hookup means and what you want can prevent that sort of thing from happening. It can just be two people who like each other having fun, and whether that's on the first or third date doesn't have to matter.

    As @Aidan said, don't do anything you're not comfortable with and have fun!
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.

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  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandPosts: 7,280 Master Poster
    Thought we needed a female perspective here. 

    I agree with both @Mike and @Aidan that if it’s a mutual thing then it’s absolutely fine. As a female I think the idea of us seeking out, and enjoying, casual sexual relationships is a bit more stigmatised than it is for men - if a man did this he’s praised by his mates whereas if a woman does it it’s not seen as favourably.

    But there’s nothing wrong with it at all, sex is great and us females should feel we are able to do whatever we’re comfortable with without society branding us in any particular way. That includes having sex on the first date.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Han93Han93 EnglandPosts: 309 The Mix Regular
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