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I’m 14 and I can’t cum and orgasm but my sex drive is crazy

I masturbate and every time I do I get really really wet and the most I can do is pee a little and I want to orgasm but I just cant and I need help and ideas to help me cum and orgasm


  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandPosts: 7,744 Legendary Poster
    Are you male or female? From your post I’m guessing you may be female, but correct me if I am wrong.

    At your age it’s all experimentation. It takes time to find what you like and find the techniques that work for you. Try to relax and not stress about getting all the way there and instead just focus on keeping doing the things that you are enjoying.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • aacarlrist200aacarlrist200 Posts: 2 Newbie
    I’m a female and I used my vibrating toothbrush last night and I think I orgasmed but idk it felt absolutely amazing though and I was looking at my boyfriends nudes and it helped me a lot and when I was done my bed had a big wet spot where I was sitting is that good or bad?
  • MikeMike 🎮 LondonPosts: 3,839 Community Manager
    edited August 2020
    Really glad you feel able to post about this @aacarlrist200. It's not always easy to talk about sex, but it's so important to be open about these things when you need support (and when you don't!).

    As @independent_ said, being able to relax is a key part of enjoying sex of any kind. It's usually difficult for people to have a good time if they're preoccupied or stressed, so letting yourself get into the zone and be free of that is a good thing to aim for first and foremost.

    The Mix actually published an article on female masturbation a while ago, which might be worth checking out. There's a good part in there around focusing too much on orgasms:

    Orgasms aren’t the be all and end all 

    Adapt your mindset for your masturbation education. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that ‘ORGASM IS LIFE’ but it’s not helpful and will likely lead to zero orgasms. You should enjoy the whole experience of wanking – beginning, middle and end, if there is one. It should be fun to explore your body and what gets you off. If you nail that bit, you might just get a nice surprise.

    It's also worth noting that people with vaginas tend to take longer figuring out what works for them in terms of sexual pleasure, compared to people with penises. That's totally normal and it's okay if you don't find the magic formula right away - these things take time and experimentation is key. :)

    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.

    Want to join the community champions? Drop @TheMix a message!
  • Tee ATee A Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    Hey @aacarlrist200 !!!

    I totally agree with @Mike here. An orgasm shouldn't be the focus of sex because it can be enjoyed without one. 

    @Mike also made a good point about not comparing the vagina to a penis. It's very complicated. Also "coming" and "orgasming" do not necessarily occur at the same time in women. Either or neither can occur during sex! 

    As long as you are happy, then there's nothing to worry about! You are still very young so you may not know what's right for you yet.

    Stay safe!
  • Han93Han93 EnglandPosts: 309 The Mix Regular
    Hey @aacarlrist200

    Check out this BBC article on female masturbation - it might be interesting: https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/ef932792-17b5-4274-bba3-3452070c3e10
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