(*trigger warning: self harm) the internet spiral
I'm really new so I don't know how this works but I just needed to let it out. A few week ago, I started spiraling into the rabbit hole of internet politics and conspiracy from red pill to radical feminism to American politics, from anti-vaxx to covid conspiracy and it left me feeling angry, sad, hurt, confused and triggered my self harm. I've been sort of recovering but I find myself falling back into watching videos I know will have toxic comment sections. I just can't stop looking for and watching this content, even though it hurts me mentally and causes myself to hurt myself physically. I never used to care about any of this stuff but I no longer have the normal, everyday social interactions and stimuli I had pre-quarantine and it's so easy to fall in. It's affecting how I think and view things negatively. I actually despise politics in general, it drives me insane but why can't I stop looking at this stuff???