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(*trigger warning: self harm) the internet spiral

SmokyChalkSmokyChalk Posts: 1 Just got here
edited June 2020 in Health & Wellbeing
I'm really new so I don't know how this works but I just needed to let it out. A few week ago, I started spiraling into the rabbit hole of internet politics and conspiracy from red pill to radical feminism to American politics, from anti-vaxx to covid conspiracy and it left me feeling angry, sad, hurt, confused and triggered my self harm. I've been sort of recovering but I find myself falling back into watching videos I know will have toxic comment sections. I just can't stop looking for and watching this content, even though it hurts me mentally and causes myself to hurt myself physically. I never used to care about any of this stuff but I no longer have the normal, everyday social interactions and stimuli I had pre-quarantine and it's so easy to fall in. It's affecting how I think and view things negatively. I actually despise politics in general, it drives me insane but why can't I stop looking at this stuff???

Comments

  • JayJJayJ Posts: 21 Boards Initiate
    Hi @SmokyChalk

    Welcome to the community. I'm really sorry to hear that you're having a tough time, there's some really deep rabbit holes on internet I know. I hope you're safe rn <3 

    Lockdown is a really hard, new scenario for most of us and you're right, there's so much going around that it's easy to fall into the information and seek out more. It can be difficult to step back from because some of it - while off the wall - is so interesting. And when there's nothing really going on in your immediate real life - no work or school or even seeing friends, it's easy to fixate on it. Don't beat yourself up for it, it's okay. 

    An idea might be to try to engage in some positive media. You can start by even just watching one video a day of something good happening or a positive documentary or something like that. Like a good point among the bad. 

    I hope this helps a bit and you feel a little better soon. Keep us updated and the community is always here to listen <3 
  • PoppyBPoppyB Posts: 228 Trailblazer
    hey @SmokyChalk welcome to The Mix :)

    I thought i would check in and see how you are feeling?

    it sounds as though you are having a hard time taking a break from online politics/theories which is taking a real toll on your mental health. It's understandable that you are watching more content as you have more time on your hands during lockdown but managing what you read online can be tricky. 

    You may find it helpful to distract yourself, so when you feel that you want to look at this content, you could go for a walk first before you look at your phone. Not only will this help to clear your mind but it will also improve your physical and mental wellbeing as you will feel more productive to focus on your health instead of the constant stream of political/negative news.  

    You can also try to balance the content that you consume, so for every negative video you watch, you spend an equal amount of time looking at more positive stories such as https://www.positive.news/ 

    I hope you begin to feel better soon, let us know how you get on :)
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited June 2020
    Heyy. Thats interesting that corona feel like its made you interested in this stuff. I guess it makes us wonder more about the world and how the world is reacting to things. There has been many conspiracy theaiores for corona. I used to be into conspiracy theraries too like the world is flat. I just read peoples views and im like well maybe theres a reason the govenmemt is telling us wrong things and over think. But then i realised i cant change it and even if i knew these conspiracy theries answers. Its going to make not much difference to my life and some things out of control and maybe in the dark About but kinda have to accept that. 

    Do you have any hobbies? Focusing on something you enjoy instead could really help <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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