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Don't know what to call this

BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
hey guys, just looking for a bit of advice … or someone to tell me what to do lol

basically im seeing my psychiatrist on Tuesday and he wants to talk about meds again... (he's really good and listens to my input about meds)


long story short hes been messing with my meds these past few months as I was on over the recommended max dose of one of my antidepressants and it wasn't having the desired effect so he put me on a new one and started weening me off the older one which was great, and these new meds are helping, but they helped more when I was on a combo of my new ones and old ones, now I don't know if I should mention that as since ive come off my older antidepressant Im losing weight (my older ones cause horrendous weight gain) and I don't know if its the disordered thinking or not but I like it, and im already on a cocktail of meds so don't really want to go back on to the older ones and add another med into the mix and gain weight again, just not sure what to do.


Whats better, being half happy and liking the way you look, or being fully happy and hating the way you look... 

(I should mention I do have an eating disorder (which is okay just now) but I am worried about a relapse as well if I continue to lose weight)

' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  

Comments

  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Ignore this...
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,026 Boards Guru
    edited September 2019
    Hey @BubblesGoesBoo

    How are you feeling about your appointment tomorrow? 

    Firstly I just wanted to say how positive it is that your psychiatrist is listening to you about your meds. I remember reading another post of yours where you talked about giving him a letter to talk about how you were feeling. How have things been since then? 

    It's understandable to be feeling unsure about what to do with your medication. It's really good that you're being honest with yourself about how you've been feeling about the new medication and also identifying your worries about relapsing if you continue to loose weight. How do you feel about sharing this with your psychiatrist? 

    Often when we're faced with difficult decisions something that can be really helpful is to have a think about what advice you'd give to a friend who is experiencing similar feelings. What would you say to them? 

    I hope your appointment goes okay tomorrow. Keep us updated with how you're feeling today and how it goes tomorrow. <3


    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 2019
    Heyy!
    you said ignore this so im just wondering if you still want people to ignore? Or did you still want peoples opinions? :) appercaite either chioce (just wanted to ask before relying since could of changed)
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    @Shaunie, I would still appreciate people's opinions, just thought no one would reply as not sure if it made sense, it's not a big problem, just really playing on my mind.. it's the little things that get to me lol  <3
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    @Aife thanks, I'm pretty nervous about it, but he's been really good since I handed him the letter, he's now letting me have input into my care which is really good, like before it was just them telling me what to do, but now I get some say :) 

    im worried if i tell him im scared of losing too much weight he's just going to put me back on it, the point in the first place was to put me on meds that cause weight gain so it would help (but i still relapsed on them) but now im a healthy weight they want to try meds that actually work :lol:  if it was a friend I would probably tell them that their body doesn't matter, its their state of mind that's more important, but when it comes to taking my own advice im crap at that lol 


    I think im just going to basically tell him what I wrote in this post, the new meds are working but worked better with my old ones in the mix aswell, he may just put me on the max dose of the new meds, I just feel guilty for taking up their time and it was a long process of him getting approval for me getting these new meds cause of the cost so I just feel bad if they don't work as well as I hoped, theyre still throwing around the term 'treatment resistant' so I feel like this is my last shot at being happy, but if this is all that happy is, I don't think I can live like this for the rest of my life...
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • Han93Han93 Posts: 309 The Mix Regular
    Hey @BubblesGoesBoo


    I think just as you said, being honest and just telling him what you've told us is the best way forward. That's what he is there for you - you have to do what is best for you and being honest about how you're feeling is definitely the way forward.

    You should not feel guilty about taking up anyone's time - that what he is there for.

    Let us know how you get on <3
  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,026 Boards Guru
    Hey @BubblesGoesBoo

    How did your appointment go in the end? 

    It's really great you're getting some say in your care. Really well done again for sending him that letter. :) 

    if it was a friend I would probably tell them that their body doesn't matter, its their state of mind that's more important, but when it comes to taking my own advice im crap at that lol 

    Taking our own advice can be one of the biggest challenges! This is really great advice though. Just echoing what @Han93 said, try not to feel guilty for taking up his time. You really deserve the best support and he's there to help you in the best way he can. 

    I hope your appointment went okay :) 
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    thanks @Han93 and @Aife

    my appointment was okay, could of been better though, *mini rant* he said theres nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight so in my head he's calling me fat now.. he also said I've to take prn before I get a nightmare/suicidal thoughts, like hows that meant to help, how the hell do I know when those things are gonna happen. 

    anyway he's kept me off the old meds just now and upped the new ones to the max dose and he's gonna add the old ones back in when I see him next month if I want, he did say another antidepressant in the same group as my new one works well with my old antidepressant … he hasn't had any experience with my new med as well its new but he thinks it could be the same reasoning ..


    I know he's there to help, but when they keep throwing around the term treatment resistant it just feels like it's a waste of time, like what if nothing helps, they already think ill be under services for the rest of my life and that's a scary thought...
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Didn't know where to put this so thought I'd put it here since it's about medication again 🤷‍♀️ I know this is an old thread so hope this is okay. 

    *in a spoiler cause mentions pills*

    I want to start 2020 boff on a positive so have decided I need to get rid of my pill stash. But how do I do this? Like do I just bin them, flush them or dissolve them? I don't know the best way to do this. I would take them back for them to destroy but don't want them to think I haven't been taking my meds and stop prescribing them when I'm finally on a combination that works. I have so many but do take them normally it's just when I haven't taken them like

    A - the pharmacy can't count and give me too many

    B - 2 are prn but they give me enough to take every night?

    C - when I've come home drunk and fallen asleep before taking them 🙈😂 (it happens)


    Also need hugs as this is so hard as it is, I'm letting go of my saftey net, my crutch.. 

    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Ignore this... 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    Hey Bubbles

    I'de flush them because I wouldnt want to take them back to a pharmacist either!
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Didn't know where to put this so thought I'd put it here since it's about medication again 🤷‍♀️ I know this is an old thread so hope this is okay. 

    *in a spoiler cause mentions pills*

    I want to start 2020 boff on a positive so have decided I need to get rid of my pill stash. But how do I do this? Like do I just bin them, flush them or dissolve them? I don't know the best way to do this. I would take them back for them to destroy but don't want them to think I haven't been taking my meds and stop prescribing them when I'm finally on a combination that works. I have so many but do take them normally it's just when I haven't taken them like

    A - the pharmacy can't count and give me too many

    B - 2 are prn but they give me enough to take every night?

    C - when I've come home drunk and fallen asleep before taking them 🙈😂 (it happens)


    Also need hugs as this is so hard as it is, I'm letting go of my saftey net, my crutch.. 

    that is really hard to do. Wouldnt even debate on throwing mine away cause just aint gunna happen. So its a positive in its self to even think of it! <3 id put them in the bin thats with a load of horrible stuff moldy food, just incase aha
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    @Lubna thanks, I phoned my psychiatrist and he said just to bin them 🤷‍♀️ so that's what I've done, don't think he realised how much I have though 😂
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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