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Hi, my name is herve!

My son is 12 years old. I have split up with his mum a year ago. He had to change school. He does not like to come to see me at my home or talk to me even on the phone. In the last 3 weeks teachers called and email his mum as his attitude and effort to school is poor. Also only last week he did walk out of his school and walk 2 miles in a short after arguing with one of the other pupil. I am really worried and scared about my son now and its future.
looking for a way to communicate with him, or someone to help him to get through this stuff life is going through it now

Comments

  • PoppyBPoppyB Posts: 228 Trailblazer
    Hi @herve welcome to The Mix :)
    It sounds like you are finding it difficult to communicate with your son at the moment and you are worried and scared about his future.
    The Mix focuses on providing support to young people so our resources are mostly catered towards 13-25 year olds, however, we are here to listen non-judgmentally. 
    It sounds like your son is struggling with a lot of transitions in his life right now, especially with changing schools. The Mix has an article here which provides some helpful tips about settling in at a new school such as joining a club/activity at school to meet other people with a similar interest.
    How would you feel about speaking to your son with his mum present about his behaviour at school? 

    If you need further support, the best thing you can do is talk to someone - your GP can recommend local organisations who can offer support if you feel comfortable with that. Childline is also available as a free confidential helpline on 0800 1111.

    Remember that it's natural for everyone to get upset or angry sometimes, and that you need to be kind to yourself and look after your own mental wellbeing - everyone can find parenting to be a stressful experience. 

  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Hey herve, welcome to the mix <3

    That does sound stressful for you. You say you split up with his mum a year ago and that he changed schools - is that what started his behaviour, or do you mean that you're not close to him so it's hard to help? Or something different?

    Have you tried talking to his mum about it, or telling him directly you're concerned?

    I hope your son's okay. If either of you need to vent this is a safe space :)
  • herveherve Posts: 2 Newbie
    Hello, 
    Thank you so much first of all for reading and trying to help.
    His mother has got a pretty good relation ship with him, he always wants to be with her. I have told my son that if needs help I am here for him...many times. I have told his mother that I am worried for my son and that is not good for him to rejecting me as we can see his attitude and his behavior and work at school is not very good. 
    I have asked the teacher ahead of his year to get some help through the counselling school but we are of course on a waiting list. It is very likely that the first session will only start in January now.
    I am therefore looking for quicker help on my own.

    I'll do whatever I believe I need to do help him. I know that age and what he has happen to him it is hard for him it does not mean he does not need help.

    I will ask his mum about the GP referral. Good idea.
    Again thanks for your help.

  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,826 Extreme Poster
    Welcome!x
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Welcome to the site! I hope you find the support youre looking for 
    herve said:
    Hello, 
    Thank you so much first of all for reading and trying to help.
    His mother has got a pretty good relation ship with him, he always wants to be with her. I have told my son that if needs help I am here for him...many times. I have told his mother that I am worried for my son and that is not good for him to rejecting me as we can see his attitude and his behavior and work at school is not very good. 
    I have asked the teacher ahead of his year to get some help through the counselling school but we are of course on a waiting list. It is very likely that the first session will only start in January now.
    I am therefore looking for quicker help on my own.

    I'll do whatever I believe I need to do help him. I know that age and what he has happen to him it is hard for him it does not mean he does not need help.

    I will ask his mum about the GP referral. Good idea.
    Again thanks for your help.


    I wouldnt know to much but by reading this - It sounds like youre going in the right direction into helping your son. Theres always a reason behind every behaviour so some sort of talking could help and finding out why.
    I wish you all the best in finding quicker help or hope all goes well with the couslellor at school!

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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