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What's the most valuable thing you've learned from therapy?

JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,306 Part of The Furniture
in Health & Wellbeing
If you're going to or have been to therapy, what's the most valuable thing you've learned from it? Or from your support journey more broadly?

All behaviour is a need trying to be met.

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Umm thats a really hard question  . I can only think of this atm,
    i had 3 types of therapy and think i suprisingly learnt the most in occupational therapy and learnt that everyones capable of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone & doing things they fear or seen stressful can end up being something you can manage and ends up being worth it. 
    And also that you kinda have to accept that you can change things yourself. Not like youre choosing to feel that way but have some power to put in the effort to feel better. Cause its true if you tell yourselr youre stuck like this forever - it becomes nearly impossible to change when dont beleiev in yourself and cause everything is for a reason, way behavour or feel so there a ways to get to the root.

    And most importantly you may be scared of what it is to feel better cause felt like it for so long that change - even feeling better can seem scarey and that you may not even notice that is how you feel. Can there is some comfort in what we know


    Sorry lol ill come back if think of anything more interesting & kinda just said what therapy is lol . I know that may sound obvious but can feel like a dead end and not obvious at all. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    I learnt that it’s okay to have sessions where you don’t want to speak , don’t want to talk , don’t want to engage. THAT IS OKAY !  Because there is always going to weeks , topics that are harder to talk, topics you may not have spoken about , topics that are too raw to talk about. 

    It’s okay to find it difficult to talk about those things
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    • that any feeling WILL pass, you just have to ride it out
    •  distractions wont always work
    •  talking to those around you can be a great help, its important to have a good support system out of services
    •  to treat myself how i would treat others, like if i get negative thoughts about myself, i wouldnt say those things to someone else so why should i listen to them about me?
    •  that im not alone
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    That it's okay to feel your emotions. A lot more distress is caused by trying to fight it.

    Having something to work towards is one of the best ways to motivate yourself is an awesome way of staying on track :) 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Mindfulness - not the breathing stuff - just being in the present moment mentally & not thinking about past or futur
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    MaisyMaisy Moderator Posts: 627 Incredible Poster
    My therapy journey was slightly different. I first sought counselling when I was in my final year of university, back in 2013/2014. I thought there was something 'wrong' with me because I felt different to everyone else. I felt 'stuck' at a young age and assumed it was from previous abuse and bullying. I felt that I wanted to 'fix' myself, as in if I could 'fix' myself, if I could be 'normal', then I would be fine. I had email counselling because I prefer that method of communication. It was okay, but it didn't 'fix' me. So after I left uni, around a year or so later, I found another counsellor, offering online counselling. I found one speciailising in trauma, so I thought that would help. It was okay, but again, something just didn't click with me.

    Later on, after some life events, I realised that I may be autistic. I don't know for sure, but there's a strong likelihood. 

    I realised I had been seeking therapy for the wrong reasons. I know therapists can't 'fix' anyone, but I realised I had felt so different from everyone else, that I felt I needed to be 'fixed' and normal...when really, all I needed was to accept myself the way that I am. I don't need to change myself. Other things I've learnt:

    • It's okay to access therapy or support online and not face to face. Not everyone feels comfortable with face to face communication.
    • I should try to say when things don't work for me, or when there may have been a miscommunication.
    • To trust myself, and my gut instinct/judgement more.
    • To stand up for myself more and let go of things that aren't working for me (e.g. people who don't accept me the way that I am).
    • To talk to family more about things I'm struggling with (and again, it's okay if I prefer to message rather than talk face to face). 
    • To not be so quick to make negative judgments (difficult when I've been abused/bullied/rejected many times).
    • Try not to ruminate as that makes me feel worse, but thinking of things I can do either now or thinking of a brighter future helps. 
    • That I love my family, they love me too. And it's still okay to love someone as family, even if they aren't biologically related to me.
    • That I'm stronger than I think or give myself credit for.
    • That I'm not a bad person. 
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,787 Master Poster
    If I can say what going to counselling (had 8 weeks of it back in year 8) taught me then it is these things:

    Don't play pranks on classmates
    Ignore anyone who bullies me
    I am beautiful 
    Positivity is the key
    Someone cares
    Anger is an okay emotion to feel
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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