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Tough week
Jellyelephant
Posts: 1,876 Extreme Poster
hey guys!
I am struggling a bit. Started on Friday when I was talking to my therapist about uni and she started talking about her concerns and stuff I need to do to stay well and doctors and counselling there and all sorts and it got me down because my bpd ruins everything and I can’t just have a good thing in my life without having to have support and doctors and meds and blah blah blah
then saturday day I saw a lot of different people and social stuff and that really stressed me out. I got overwhelmed and self harmed. I haven’t self harmed in ages so I felt guilty about that and was upset with myself.
Then monday was my aunts birthday meal and I got soooooo anxious and stressed and triggered and was just really stressful and I self harmed after that too.
Then today I saw meg (my therapist) and we ended up talking about one of the rapes I have experienced... and I told her what actually happened. She was so supportive and lovely about it and I couldn’t have asked for more but now I’m home I feel so triggered and ptsd symptoms are kicking my arse. I have self harmed and am currently drinking as much alcohol as I can lol ... I haven’t drank for nearly two weeks so again I feel guilty but still had to be done so I don’t lose my shit
i don’t know the point of this thread but I’m just having a tough week and could do with some support
lots of love
x
I am struggling a bit. Started on Friday when I was talking to my therapist about uni and she started talking about her concerns and stuff I need to do to stay well and doctors and counselling there and all sorts and it got me down because my bpd ruins everything and I can’t just have a good thing in my life without having to have support and doctors and meds and blah blah blah
then saturday day I saw a lot of different people and social stuff and that really stressed me out. I got overwhelmed and self harmed. I haven’t self harmed in ages so I felt guilty about that and was upset with myself.
Then monday was my aunts birthday meal and I got soooooo anxious and stressed and triggered and was just really stressful and I self harmed after that too.
Then today I saw meg (my therapist) and we ended up talking about one of the rapes I have experienced... and I told her what actually happened. She was so supportive and lovely about it and I couldn’t have asked for more but now I’m home I feel so triggered and ptsd symptoms are kicking my arse. I have self harmed and am currently drinking as much alcohol as I can lol ... I haven’t drank for nearly two weeks so again I feel guilty but still had to be done so I don’t lose my shit
i don’t know the point of this thread but I’m just having a tough week and could do with some support
lots of love
x
The sun will rise and we will try again
6
Comments
Sorry to hear you are having a tough week.
It sounds from the way you describe your therapist is open and supporting when you speak to her.
Remember that the progress we make as an individual isn't linear. We don't go from point A, to point B, and C, then get better. We loop back on ourselves, we stop for a bit, we'll sometimes go one step forward and two steps back. That's just human nature. Try not to feel guilty about drinking after two weeks, or self-harming, it doesn't mean you've lost or diminished any of the progress you made. From what you said, you made some great progress talking to your therapist, and it's a positive step that you've reached out on these forums.
Feel free to let us know how you are feeling later on.
Remember that The Mix has a crisis messenger you can contact if you need it by texting THEMIX to 85258.
I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling this week
Do you have any distraction techniques you know work for you/ or self care, aside from drinking? If not I'm sure we can help with suggestions. Sending loads of hugs.
- Lucy
Also I try to think about things I did well like, hey, I went ages and didn't harm! I didn't harm today!
Don't feel guilty, please. We're here for you x
"I do what i do because it's right... and above all its KIND" - the 12th Doctor 💕
The joy is worth the pain.
Just want to echo what people have said on here, we are here for you,
How are you feeling now?
Do keep posting if you need to, we care about you.
"Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"
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[edited by moderator]
I'm sorry that things aren’t too good right now, how are you feeling today? 💗 just what to remind you that you’re strong and relapses don’t mean that you have failed, feeling guilty about self harming is understandable but don’t beat yourself up for it you’re trying your hardest and that’s incredible considering everything that’s going on!
Sending love and hugs, message me if you need to I'm always here x
Let us know how everything goes today. Thinking of you
How are you feeling at the moment?
I'm sorry to hear that your nana could still have cancer
All the love
I'm so sorry to hear about your Nana, that's really difficult news to get, especially if you had to wait a while to find out how the appointment went. Have you found out when her operation might be?
Sending you and your family lots of love x
My nana has had her bronchoscopy and biopsy and scan now. She has an appt beginning of july to find the results so its a waiting game now.
I am working on my college assignments. Theyre all late but my tutors are being nice, i had a meeting with one of them today and he helped me and told me what to do. Stressful tho
Hallucinations are pissing me off. Especially the buzzing noises and when i look at writing i see my name written there so its hard to do my work when am seeing strange things everywhere.
I am on day two of my alcohol free journey. 2 days sober and boyyyyyy its tough. I was so tempted to buy more today at the shop but I resisted. A nice woman from my local area wrote on our local group about her journey with alcohol and i messaged her she was lovely and gave me her number and she said I can meet her friday evening for a drink (non alcoholic of course lol) and then she said she will take me to her AA meeting for support she said it helps her a lot.
My ESA is being reassessed which is shit cos if they take my money off me i will just kill myself cos i wont be able ot pay for therapy or anything so i will be rock bottom. My keyworker is meeting me tomorrow to do the forms and my therapist is doing a letter tonight to send me for support for my application.
lots going on so am trying to just keep my head above water. Appreciate the mix and u guys on here so much u have all been angels and I am lucky
xxx
basically I didnt have my assignment done by the deadline so I uploaded a previous assignment and put the same title so that I didnt get capped at a pass. So my tutor found me today and told me and I acted surprised and told her I would upload the proper one when I got home. Been trying to finish it in time but only just finished and its like 3.20am. My teacher will probs know I bullshitted but am past caring lol just uploaded it. Kill me now aha
Anyway I had better try and get some sleep as I have a meeting with my keyworker to do my ESA forms. On that note my therapist sent me a supporting letter for it and it makes me sound actually insane lol.
fml
Well done on getting your assignment done! I hope you were able to get some rest once it was submitted. Let us know how it goes with your keyworker today, reassessments for things are rubbish but I'm glad she's there to support you.
How are you feeling about meeting the lady from online and going to the AA group together?
Sending hugs
Caroline
Am feeling good anout going to AA. Think it will be extra support for me from people who understands. I am struggling today. Haven’t had a drink since Sunday and all this stuff going on is too much. I bought vodka from the shop
Things seem really hard right now but I just wanted to remind you that you are doing really well, the fact that you keep reaching out for support and trying your hardest is honestly inspirational 💗
How has the rest of today been for you? Xx
Keep us all updated ☺️
Always here,
Butterfly X