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Tips for enjoying single life

chubbydumplingchubbydumpling DurhamPosts: 309 Rampant Poster
edited May 3 in Sex & Relationships
I've been single by choice for just over a year now with no plans for dating in the immediate future. After a string of lackluster relationships, I consciously decided to take a break from dating to focus on myself. 

Since it's been just over a year, I've been reflecting on my decision and some of the things I've taken up doing to take care of myself. I think it's going pretty well; I've gone back to university to finish my degree, I'm volunteering, and I adopted two cats :# I'm a lot more spontaneous, since I don't have to run anything by a partner. I actually enjoy getting a coffee by myself now!

What sort of things do the rest of you singletons do to enjoy yourself? What, for you, is the best thing about being single?
sozforhappy

Comments

  • AidanAidan Clever idiot Posts: 1,237 Fanatical Poster
    edited May 3
    Hey,

    Sorry to hear about your lacklustre relationships, I think it's great that you've overcome that and taken a break to look after yourself. You say it's going well, I'm glad to hear!

    I don't have to run anything by a partner
    That's a positive I wouldn't have though of actually! I'm currently in an LDR so it often doesn't occur to me that other couples may have more say over each other's lives.

    I can think of a few positives of single life compared to being in my relationship- everyone is different though so I must say that whilst I prefer being in my relationship to being single, not everyone is the same and that's okay!

    - One person's mess builds half as quickly as two people's mess
    - Can spend more time in the bathroom and find it's empty more often
    - Sometimes you just want to be alone, it can still make you feel bad to ask for some alone time even if your partner is understanding

    The best thing though about the single life, to me at least, is the lack of attachment and lack of feelings. If I was single, I wouldn't have someone to miss, worry about, dream about at night and wake up and see they're not there. If that makes sense? For me the feelings are worth it, but I have struggled with it and it is a challenge, so I can understand anyone who doesn't feel the same. Which again, is fine because everyone just is different!

    I hope this has been insightful!- from someone who's precariously balancing being in a relationship with being single :tongue:

    Is there anything else you want to talk about?

    Take care of yourself! <3

    Aidan
    chubbydumpling
  • sozforhappysozforhappy LondonPosts: 123 The Mix convert
    edited May 4
    Heya thanks for this. I've never been planning on getting married at all cuz I personally dislike the idea of intimacy and sex and how you get children. And that being an excuse to have kids whom the parents bully anyway with tough love and harsh discipline. Family life like I always say is extremely annoying and distressing especially these days. I do hope nobody ever proposes to me in the future and my parents never ever try to find me a partner even though it does say in my religious holy book human beings were originally created "in pairs", it doesn't make marriage and romantic relationships a must and if we don't get married here then we can always marry our "partners" God apparently assigned for us in heaven instead!
  • chubbydumplingchubbydumpling DurhamPosts: 309 Rampant Poster
    Thanks @Aidan!

    Honestly, I've never thought that being in a relationship was the be-all and end-all so it was fairly easy to give up dating to focus on myself haha. I imagine being in a LDR has some of the same challenges as single life: what sort of things do you do to keep busy? I've been reclaiming a lot of my old passions and hobbies lately, as well as taking up some new pursuits like sailing! 
  • chubbydumplingchubbydumpling DurhamPosts: 309 Rampant Poster
    I totally get where you're coming from, @sozforhappy! People put a lot of stock in heteronormative ideas like marriage and babies and, while I would eventually like to have children personally, I don't like the idea that it's expected of me either. 

    I hope your parents respect your boundaries and don't put pressure on you to get married. You're right, there are a lot of other relationships that are just as fulfilling as romantic ones. 
    sozforhappy
  • ValerialettoValerialetto Posts: 73 Miniposter

     

    hey @chubbydumpling,
                  Such a good post  :) really glad to hear that you enjoy your time being single.
                  While reading your post I remembered one article where was discussed an issue of being single for  sometime after breaking up. A phycologist told that it's not right to break up and start other relationship  immediately. Cause every relationship gives us certain experience we need to adopt and think over, it's needed to understand exactly what you want now and what you are ready for, it's possibly only after some time being alone.
                  When I had my year without relationship I did a lot of sport, I visited all possible courses  =) in fact I really spent a fortune for that , and I organized linguistic trips for my students, that was amazing  :3 One my acquaint took her dog and she has been traveling around the world by car for 1.5 years already  =) she is really enjoying her time and that's great! Hope you come up with some great ideas :) 


    chubbydumpling
  • independent_independent_ Boards Baby ScotlandPosts: 1,213 Fanatical Poster
    I was single for over 2 years before I started my relationship with my boyfriend. There are definitely pros to being single, including the ability to have more alone time. But like I’m also in an LDR so even in a relationship, I have more alone time than most. 

    I wasn’t single by choice but as I was really young, it allowed me to discover who I was and develop my sense of self before getting into another relationship. So that’s definitely a positive and something all single people should do. 

    Overall I enjoyed the complete independence, so take advantage of that :) 
    chubbydumpling
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 617 Extreme Poster
    Good for you @chubbydumpling and this is a great thread!

    I think one of the best things about being single is having to/being able to be ridiculously close to friends/family. I'm in a happy relationship and so talk to my partner about everything, which means I don't feel like I have to tell my friends/family as much as I perhaps did before. In turn this means we're not as close.

    It's also naturally one less person to balance keeping up/catching up/spending time with when you're single, which gives you some time back as others have mentioned :grin:
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
    sozforhappychubbydumpling
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