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Frustration of myself

NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 177 Helping Hand
edited March 2019 in Health & Wellbeing
Is there anywhere, where I can just say what’s on my mind without editing the words, what it is.
I’m going to explode if I don’t get rid of this soon. 
I’m tired of always being tired with it all now.
Can you heal until you’ve outed your thoughts without editing? That said I went through it all, in detail in a courtroom of people and was made to expose myself, that clearly did nothing apart from mess my head and self up more. The people on the courtroom listened to me bare my soul, express the hurt that I’d experienced and the fear,  after all of that yes he got punished, but I’m in the same place I’ve always been, the only difference I exposed myself, was it worth it?! No! Did I look after myself doing that?! No! 
I just want to be held in the same spot, for the world to stop and standstill for me to catch up just for a short while, to cry in a safe place to. Sometimes things just can’t happened.
I’m sorry for being me, I’m sorry for what people know about me. 
Most of all I’m sorry to myself for feeling this bad. 
The only good part of me brought my little me to this world safety.
I actually just need to be and talk to someone without fear or saying the wrong thing, just to say it as it is for me, it’s all trapped and it’s frustrating me.
It’ll be ok, just in a bad place, things will get better.
Sorry all

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Post edited by TheMix on

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    You can say everything to samaratians without editing your words or a helpline - if thats what youre meaning. They wont judge or tell you how to feel or that you said something wrong
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 177 Helping Hand
    It isn’t that easy talking on the phone to a stranger about things, going into silence mode because you dont feel comfortable or don’t know where to start.
    I’d still edit or wouldnt say it all being conscious with little one here anyway, I’ll type it all out in an email to myself is probably the safest way. 
  • NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 177 Helping Hand
    Or if my counseling session goes ahead next week that’ll be the right place. I’d worked myself up to it this week, no ones fault internet technical issues happen. 
    I don’t want to go back to psychotherapy I’m not sure that helped or gave me more issues to manage :-/
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    Sorry.- i meant samaratians have a text number you can use and email you can use and not just a phone call
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    @NatalieMT <3<3 we support you x
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