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Frustration of myself

NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 171 The Mix convert
edited March 2019 in Health & Wellbeing
Is there anywhere, where I can just say what’s on my mind without editing the words, what it is.
I’m going to explode if I don’t get rid of this soon. 
I’m tired of always being tired with it all now.
Can you heal until you’ve outed your thoughts without editing? That said I went through it all, in detail in a courtroom of people and was made to expose myself, that clearly did nothing apart from mess my head and self up more. The people on the courtroom listened to me bare my soul, express the hurt that I’d experienced and the fear,  after all of that yes he got punished, but I’m in the same place I’ve always been, the only difference I exposed myself, was it worth it?! No! Did I look after myself doing that?! No! 
I just want to be held in the same spot, for the world to stop and standstill for me to catch up just for a short while, to cry in a safe place to. Sometimes things just can’t happened.
I’m sorry for being me, I’m sorry for what people know about me. 
Most of all I’m sorry to myself for feeling this bad. 
The only good part of me brought my little me to this world safety.
I actually just need to be and talk to someone without fear or saying the wrong thing, just to say it as it is for me, it’s all trapped and it’s frustrating me.
It’ll be ok, just in a bad place, things will get better.
Sorry all

[moved by moderator]

Kathleen07Millie2787

Comments

  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,636 Boards Champion
    You can say everything to samaratians without editing your words or a helpline - if thats what youre meaning. They wont judge or tell you how to feel or that you said something wrong
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
  • NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 171 The Mix convert
    It isn’t that easy talking on the phone to a stranger about things, going into silence mode because you dont feel comfortable or don’t know where to start.
    I’d still edit or wouldnt say it all being conscious with little one here anyway, I’ll type it all out in an email to myself is probably the safest way. 
  • NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 171 The Mix convert
    Or if my counseling session goes ahead next week that’ll be the right place. I’d worked myself up to it this week, no ones fault internet technical issues happen. 
    I don’t want to go back to psychotherapy I’m not sure that helped or gave me more issues to manage :-/
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,636 Boards Champion
    edited March 2019
    Sorry.- i meant samaratians have a text number you can use and email you can use and not just a phone call
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,930 Postholic
    @NatalieMT <3<3 we support you x
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