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The thing no one see.

AbigailAbigail Carer/musicianPosts: 685 Incredible Poster
I have been up since 6am i have been in work and helped out around chat tonight. I am lead here in tears! 

I can't continue doing everything working, chats, education and full time carer. There is 2 things I can't control education and being a carer. Just which one do I choice chat or work at the moment. I can't do both not the way i did tonight supporting like a mod would. No one has ever stopped and asked me generally how is everything for me at the moment? And for that person to care and listen just doesn't happen at the moment for me. I am out of energy the cup is empty.

I am sorry if this hurts any you. 
Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
Laine

Comments

  • ShaunieShaunie 🌸 Posts: 12,782 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited September 2018
    Hey,

    you know we will listen to you whenever you wanna vent, and we care about you. <3 

    youre talking about support chat right?
    Don’t mean to sound rude at any point but we are on a site where it’s Give support and also get support, so all would speak to others as if you was a mod - being supportive, as you always are. I like helping out in chat when I can and is not something I find as a chore because I love helping people esp on the boards too, but from this post it seems like is a chore for you & pressure or forced and not something you actually wanna do? -if this is the case maybe you should only take care of yourself atm as maybe overwhelming. Sorry if that wasn’t the sort of reply you wanted.  But just mean Please take care of self too
    .
    Laine
  • LaineLaine Fruit loop Gone for gooPosts: 2,767 Account Deactivated
    Shaunie is absolutely right and i'vw always said if you give and give and give and don't get anything back then it's not a healthy friendship. 

    It definitely seems more pressurized on you and I was wonderig how you felt about taking a break? 
    I don't mean 100% from the mix if you don't want to but a break from helping others? 

    It's not a Chore it's something I love doing and I do often need to take a break and you will see me post less on the boards and go to more GCs than SCs while I take some me time and have a good old relaxing time. 

    If you are out of energy girl then go get that energy back recharge! And use it for what you need. 

    Energy can be treated like money, get your rent and food and then maybe if you want to an extra something,  you need energy to get through the day and of you feel like using the spare great!  If you don't you're no less a human than anyone else. 

    All of this ^ Is a bit much it's late I'm sorry 😂

    My point is take that break as long as you need. prioritize yourself and your goals and needs get what you need done and make sure there's enough to get through the day because you have your own problems too. 

    Don't feel bad or owt just look after yourself okay?  <3

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 3,589 Community Veteran
    Abi you come first! I agree with Laine and Shaunie, take a break if you need one. We are here to listen to you aswell, so use this place as  vent, we're all here. How re you coping with all this? do you get any support? Always around <3  
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • AbigailAbigail Carer/musician Posts: 685 Incredible Poster
    I really enjoy supporting around the chats just on a normal day last night I think I did take it to far I had been in work all I was tired and I was just wanting to keep going. I am really sorry the part about chat I shouldn't of put in i need to get it off my mind. - @Shaunie I will try and speak with Aman tonight if it's quiet. 

    @Laine I thought if i burnt myself out last night then refilled the cup today I would be alright and no one would know the difference by tomorrow. For the fast like 18 months I have been here I have struggled massively doing GC as I find it hard to deal with the different conversations we have in there - I hope that makes sense. 

    @BubblesGoesBoo your guess is as good as mine for how i am coping with it all. Before writing on here i cried for help the only thing I could say is I need Jo who is my counsellor. Like I said to Laine i will try and speak with Aman tonight. 

    I am sorry if i hurt anyone last night when I typed that i really just need to let out some of my emotions. 
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
  • ShaunieShaunie 🌸 Posts: 12,782 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited September 2018
    Hey Abi. I’m glad you will try to seek support in chat. But does it have to be Aman? I’m just asking as this was posted recently https://community.themix.org.uk/discussion/3592739/the-role-of-chat-moderators#latest , comments like that make  me think I shouldn’t support cause people are actually only going there to
    get/expect support ffom only mods so feel like I would also love to support you in chats but if only want to speak to Aman or mods that’s okay, just wondering, as dont wanna annoy anyone as I’m just a member. But can speak about this to anyone 

    Sorry, hope that doesn’t feel like Ive just critised what you’ve just said, just wanna help aswell :)
    take care
    Post edited by Shaunie on
    .
  • AbigailAbigail Carer/musician Posts: 685 Incredible Poster
    I don't want to ever discourage anyone from support another user in chat. 
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
    LaineShaunie
  • ShaunieShaunie 🌸 Posts: 12,782 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited September 2018
    Aw no. I just don’t wanna annoy anyone. <3 so was just wondering.
    &as I feel not important enough that anyone wants support from me in first place. Its not what you said that discourages me. Is how I feel. 

    Maybe thats how others feel in themselves as well, so we all care about you, whether ask/ say it or not <3

    how are you feeling today?  Hope you had a more of a lie in today and getting some rest and care for yourself 🌸
    .
    Laine
  • AbigailAbigail Carer/musician Posts: 685 Incredible Poster
    I don't want to ever discourage anyone from support another user in chat. - sorry I thought this had sent. 
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
  • ShaunieShaunie 🌸 Posts: 12,782 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Oh,
    you did send that?:/I didnt think my reply ignored it either?:/
    hope youre okay
    .
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