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What do i have?

optimusoptimus Posts: 1 Just got here
Hello, i am 12 years old, and i have had some problems. I am depressed and suicidal. I have a hallucination once a week or so, but it isn't just a normal hallucination...After i have the hallucination, and i try to remember it, it alters it in my mind (example: i drop my scarf on the floor, and i have an hallucantion where i see a hand under the scarf..then after about a minute i forget, and then i suddenly remember it, but when i remember it, the details are mixed up (the scarf is grey and blue instead of green and black)) I also am depressed, and don't see any purpose in life. If it helps any i also get angry and emotional in seconds when someone triggers me or says something.


I sometimes hear a voice when nobody is talking, but that is rare (once a month maybe?) and i am always tired.

I think i have something besides depression, could somebody please explain this? i don't want to go to a physicist i don't want my parents to know at all they are judgemental..What is wrong with me?

Comments

  • MochanMochan Posts: 65 Boards Initiate
    Hi @optimus. I'm sorry to hear that you have been feeling depressed and experiencing hallucinations. That must be really tough and I can understand that you don't want to see a doctor. Getting angry and emotional can be really hard too. If you would like to talk to someone about your experience in more detail and can help you understand more, you may find it helpful to contact Childline: ​https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/your-feelings/
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Heey Optimus :wave:
    First of all im sorry for everything your going through, it sounds tough doing it on your own! You say you have depression, do you see anyone for it that you could talk to about these other symptoms? I can't answer what's wrong with you, only a gp can, it could be a number of things! Do you have anyone else in your family you trust to talk about this? All i can say is you're not alone and well done for sharing on here :):heart:
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,826 Extreme Poster
    Hi optimus,

    Sorry to hear what you're going through. I'm not able to diagnose you as I am not a qualified psychiatrist, but you can have this checked at the GP. However, considering that you are 12 and don't want parents to know, I think it's best to follow what Mochan said about contacting Childlinex

    Much love <3
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