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How do you find out what’s stressing you out in a relationship?

AifeAife LondonPosts: 2,319 Community Manager

Hey everyone,

Relationships can be stressful but sometimes it's hard to know what's stressing you out. How do you find out what's stressing you out in a relationship?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

- Aife
Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤


  • PositiveAuraPositiveAura Posts: 150 Settling in
    Hey everyone! :wave:

    ​This is an interesting one because we can't always name or identify our thoughts and feelings. I'm sure that a lot of us have had those moments when we feel stressed or frustrated but can't pin point why?!

    ​I think a good, simple way to figure this out is to ask yourself different questions or writing it down. Has anyone ever done a mood board or a mood chart which can reflect areas of your life? Well something like that can really put things in perspective if you are unsure of your feelings and what is stressing you out. Sometimes, it might not even be caused by the relationship so mapping out your current situation can help you see everything from a wide perspective.

    ​You can do this by just writing down thoughts that are on your mind or any worries you have. Like, 1. I have so many deadlines to meet..., 2. I don't feel like I have any time for my partner...

    You can even go ahead and split it up into 'feelings about work' 'feelings about school' 'feelings about family' 'feelings about me' or 'feelings about my partner' etc. and reflect on any thoughts or feelings you have in each box. To be honest, this can help us all see what areas of our life are really effecting our stress levels and why we might be feeling tired or frustrated.

    Then things might pop up in relationships like 'my partner is at work too much' or 'I haven't seen my friends in a while' etc. and you can figure out what is causing your stress.

    ​But this is just an idea! I am a very visual person and I always feel less confused when I write things down, so maybe this could help you too?

    And of course, if you end up figuring out that perhaps your partner works too much or there is another problem on your mind...talk about it with them! Communication is key so don't bottle it up! Besides, maybe it's on their mind too but they just can't figure out what's up!? :)

  • TheAprilFoolTheAprilFool Miniposter Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    Hi :wave:

    I agree that writing things down or drawing them out is a good way to figure out your thoughts and feelings. I also think that talking things through can be a good way to work through things. It might be a good idea to let your partner know that you're feeling stressed, or it might be better for you to talk to someone you trust outside of the relationship. I think the important thing is that you just don't bottle up your feelings, as this could lead to feelings of anger or resentment towards your partner.
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