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Not angry just disappointed....

One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 465 Rampant Poster
So I broke up with my boyfriend last week after being together for just over 6 months. I’m not 100% sure why we broke up but by what he sent it was due to not being able to spend time with me.

He works a lot but I didn’t mind, we didn’t see eachother a lot so he decided the fairest thing to do was to end it. I was obviously upset but I understood why he did it and asked if he wanted to stay in contact or cut it off all together.

He was fine with staying in contact for now and seeing if friendship would work. I had noticed hos Facebook disappeared and asked if he deactivated it. He said he was just having a break off Facebook. (I only asked in case he was in trouble and that’s why he deactivated it) I was relieved when he said he wasn’t.

My friend texted me later on after finding out we had broke up and said she had seen his profile...... so this must mean that he blocked me.

I was and still am gutted! Why would he lie???? All he had to say was he didn’t want to talk to me anymore and I would have accepted that with no arguments.

I still have his number as he said he was ok with staying in contact but haven’t texted him since the break up. I’m not angry towards him nor do I hate him. I’m just disappointed that he lied to me....

He was always honest in the relationship and so was I. I had always said that if he had anything to say I wouldn’t judge him. Which is why it hurts so much. If he had just said he didn’t want contact I would have accepted that even though it would hurt a lot.

But it hurts more knowing he lied and not knowing wether or not I should contact him again. I am not a vengeful person and will never make him look bad as he is a wonderful guy.

It’s obviously too early to talk to him again anyway but should I still talk to him or take this to mean leave him alone..... obviously he doesn’t know that I know he has blocked me but I don’t think I should confront him about it because I don’t want to come across as a bitch.

I kinda feel like feeling disappointed is worse than being angry at him. Bein angry would probably not last as long as disappointment would. Plus it just feels rubbish to feel disappointed because I suppose it shows that I still care about him.

I know I’ll move on though and get through it with time. But that doesn’t change how I’m currently feeling

Love sucks! :/

Comments

  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 Fanatical Poster
    I'm very sad that you have been made to feel like this. It's not your fault, though. You've been honest and upfront with him all along. But he hasn't. He's withheld truth and been dishonest and lied to you. No wonder why you feel so hurt and upset.

    And yes, love sucks. But the best way forward is putting what he's done behind you, and let the process of time lessen those feelings that are raging right now. You did what you could to keep close to him, but he betrayed your trust. :(

    Now, you must begin looking forward and try not recalling what happened even though the life you had with him is very raw right now. Treating yourself to things that bring comfort will help. Can you see a friend? They may help you move on. At least being single now, you can please yourself what you do. That's a bonus. :)

    The Mix has a useful article called "Accepting it's over". It's well written, so hopefully you might find some useful tips below.

    http://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/single-life-and-dating/accepting-its-over-3185.html

    I wish you all the best and please, take care to look after yourself this weekend.

    ~ Belle
    'If you think education is expensive, try estimating the cost of ignorance'.

    - Howard Gardner
  • PositiveAuraPositiveAura Posts: 150 Two little ducks
    Hey @One-in-a-million

    ​Sorry to hear what's happened - hope you are feeling better. Of course, your emotions may be all over the place at the moment and that's understandable. This has only just happened so don't feel bad about your feelings. Like you say, with time, it will get better.

    I can understand that you may be hurt by him lying to you, and it sounds like it is on your mind a lot. To get rid of this and to get come closure, asking him may help. You both ended on good terms, which is good and means that if you talk to him, he's likely to respond.

    We all deal with ending relationships differently, so he may be working through it differently. For example, he might have blocked you to gain a little bit of distance before going into a friendship. Try not to think the worst, and focus on yourself during this time.

    ​It is natural to overthink and reflect on your relationship now that it's ended, having closure can help you move on properly. If you feel that you must know, gently ask. If not, just focus on yourself for now and when you have started to move on, perhaps you could ask your ex later on?

    What is most important right now is you and what you need to move on, keep that in mind!

    ​-PositiveAura:rainbow2:

  • tashtastictashtastic Posts: 30 Cool Newbie
    Hey @One-in-a-million

    I'm sorry that your relationship didn't work out :(. I hope you're feeling a bit better now that that some time has passed.

    I understand that you must be feeling quite angry about what happened, but like @PositiveAura said, it might be a good idea to think of some other reasons about why he blocked you. I get really frustrated too when someone lies - it's so easy when you're feeling quite emotional to jump to the worst conclusion, but hopefully now that it's been a while, you'll be able to think about in a more rational way.

    I think closure is also important. There's a lot of things you can do, but I guess if you keep going over it in the back of your mind, the best thing you can do is to talk to him (either by phone or face-to-face, whatever you prefer) to try and clear the air. However if you don't feel that comfortable talking to him, or just don't want to bring up all those feelings again, then that's okay as well. It's ultimately up to what you think is best.

    You could also try just having a bit of me-time to try and take your mind off things, whether that's going for a run or binge-watching netflix. This might also help to clear your head a bit :)

    Talking about it can really help as well, especially if you want to try and see things from a different perspective. You could try venting to a friend or sibling etc., just to let it all out I guess. You can always talk to us here at the mix as well :)

    I hope you're feeling a bit better about everything now *hug*

    Tash
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 465 Rampant Poster
    Hi guys I’m fine thank you for asking we had a small conversation the other day nothing special just how are you ect.

    I didn’t ask him why he blocked me so I’m still none the wiser. But yeah I’m doing good ;) I ended up going on a friend date yesterday ha ha ha 😂

    Thank you so much for the love guys Xx
  • RayofhopeRayofhope Posts: 152 The Mix convert
    Hi one-in-a-million,


    It’s good to hear that your doing good and feeling a little better. Starting a small convostation is a good way to start and if you want to ask in the future then that option is still available. Do you feel that you do want to ask why?

    Rayofhope🌈
    Life doesn’t require we be the best, only that we try our best
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Posts: 514 Extreme Poster
    Hi One-in-a-million,

    Sorry to hear that things didn't work out. I hope you feel better soon - let yourself go through the motions and take your time to get back up on your feet again!x

    Much love <3
  • PositiveAuraPositiveAura Posts: 150 Two little ducks
    Hi @One-in-a-million

    ​It's good to hear that you are doing well. Perhaps if it comes up in the future you can have closure on it but for now it's a good idea to just work on yourself. :)

    If there is anything else, you know where we are!

    ​-PositiveAura:rainbow2:
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