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former "friend" (CWs:Others have described her behaviour as abusive, suicide mention)

ZeeZeeZeeZee NewbiePosts: 6 Newbie
She is another trans girl and kinda horrible to me. For instance she has:
-Cut me off from my other friends
-Provoked me into hurting her so she could hold it over me
-Constantly insulted me
-Let her friends tell me to kill myself
-Generally treated me like shit


  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Community Champion Posts: 1,270 Wise Owl
    Hi ZeeZee,

    From what you've said, it sounds like your "friend" was being controlling, low self esteem and highly insecure. Sorry to hear about what she's put you through - it's awful when someone feels it's okay for them to "resolve" their insecurities by bringing others down with themx

    Much love <3
  • Jay86Jay86 Noob Posts: 1
    Is she a new freind? More than a freind? Maybe someone you should consider cutting out of your life? It's horrible when someone causes you pain and more so when you empathise with theirs. Maybe you two could talk to eachother and see where you both stand? I hope things get better,

    Thoughts with you x
  • PositiveAuraPositiveAura Posts: 150 Settling in
    Hey @ZeeZee :wave:

    ​I'm sorry for hearing that you have been treated by someone this way. It sounds like you are struggling with it all and perhaps your 'friend' is too. Have you been able to confront them about how you are feeling and what is happening?

    ​Perhaps this would shed light on why you are being treated this way. There is no excuse for this, and it is certainly not how you treat a friend. I hope that you are doing ok after going through this and have found other people to surround yourself with. We should all be around people who build us up not drag us down.

    Like it was pointed out above, there may be some underlying issues going on with this person so they are taking it out on you. Try not to let their words bring you down and make you think these things about yourself. It could be a reflection of them instead.
    Have you thought that this may
    ​be the case?

    Having space from each other and going to talk to someone in order to work on yourselves could help this. You titled the post 'Former Friend' so am I right in thinking that you are not currently friends? If so, maybe when this person has overcome their own mental health and what ever that they may be dealing with, you can resolve anything that has happened between you. Even if you no longer want to be friends, this can give you answers, the apology you deserve and give you closure.

    ​Hope this helps you feel a little better about the situation. Let us know what's happening with you both.

    All the best,

  • tashtastictashtastic Posts: 30 Boards Initiate
    Hey @ZeeZee

    It sucks when a 'friend' seems to be constantly taking out everything on you. Has this been going on for a long time or has it only started recently?

    I think it's important to think about why they might be doing this. Is she like this with everyone? It may be that she's going through a really hard time right now and wants to take it out on other people. This definitely doesn't excuse her behaviour but hopefully it could give you an understanding of why she's behaving the way she is. Don't blame yourself for the way she's been treating you - it can often be easier to assume that you are at fault, but I highly doubt that that is the case.

    It will be probably good if you can have some time apart for now, just to allow both of you to reflect on what's happened. If you do feel comfortable with talking to them about how they've been acting, this help you guys get back on better terms, or at least allow you to move on in fairly not-messy way.

    You can try the online chat or helpline 0808 808 4994 here at the mix if you want. This can help you talk about what's happened to you and hopefully help you feel a bit more confident about what you should do.

    I hope you're feeling okay and that you're able to resolve the situation :heart:

  • Tee ATee A Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    Hey ZeeZee
    ​Thank-you for feeling brave enough to share your experiences with The Mix.
    ​The other trans girl you have described seems to be behaving quite negatively towards you, which appears to influence your mutual friends. Maybe you and your former friend could have a chat to establish whether there is an issue in within your friendship. You could find out why this former friend is treating you the way they are but also make her aware of how she is making you feel. Another possibility is to talk to your other friends and question them about the way they are treating you.
    ​Nobody should tell you to kill yourself. That is not okay. You could try to find a close friend/family member that you trust to confide in.
    ​Stay strong!

    -Tee A:wave:
  • FranFran Posts: 118 Boards Initiate
    Hi @ZeeZee :wave:
    That's really sorry to hear that you are going through this experience! As suggested in the previous comments, I believe that it could be a good idea to consider the reasons why she might be doing this, too. Is she going through a bad period? Has something happened between you? This could help you decide what to do, whether to try to confront her and try to sort it out together or not. None should tell anyone something so bad as to kill oneself! Is there the possibility to stay away from them all for sometime or are you forced to meet often for some reasons that don't depend on you two?

    As @tashtastic said it could be great to have some time apart in order to make the situation become less drawn.
    is there anybody you would like to talk to about what's happening? Both relatives and friends or if you feel like it's becoming overwhelming and you want to talk to a neutral person, maybe you can consider asking your gp for advice about a good counsellor. it could help you express your feelings and maybe find a way to overcome this situation!

    Be strong and positive :rainbow::wave:

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