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Siena
Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
Tw.this contains a couple of examples of possibly suicidal things my sister says. I don't know if she means them seriously, but they might be a bit triggering for some people...
My sister says suicidal things in a humorour ways like she will say 'this is making me want to jump out of the window' and she does stuff like when shes distressed she would act out putting a gun to her head. Then laughs. How do i know if she is just laughing and just what people say like when someone says "this will be the death of me" as some sort of over statement or joke or if she is actually screaming and is suicidal but dont know how else to express? Or dunmo if im thinking too much. I cant ask her cause its clear that we dont speak about mental illness in the house & turn the tv off everytime its on the tv. But then i know people do say that stuff as exaggaration or something but just assume not serious. But just a bit concerned for her. Idk if other people take other people seriously when they say stuff like that? Or i just over think but she does do it a lottt
My sister says suicidal things in a humorour ways like she will say 'this is making me want to jump out of the window' and she does stuff like when shes distressed she would act out putting a gun to her head. Then laughs. How do i know if she is just laughing and just what people say like when someone says "this will be the death of me" as some sort of over statement or joke or if she is actually screaming and is suicidal but dont know how else to express? Or dunmo if im thinking too much. I cant ask her cause its clear that we dont speak about mental illness in the house & turn the tv off everytime its on the tv. But then i know people do say that stuff as exaggaration or something but just assume not serious. But just a bit concerned for her. Idk if other people take other people seriously when they say stuff like that? Or i just over think but she does do it a lottt
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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First of all, it's really lovely that you have picked up on this and care about her so much to talk about it here. I understand why you would feel that way if she's joking a lot about suicidal things. It could absolutely just be jokes, it's difficult to know. How would you feel about trying to casually ask how things are with her, without letting on that you have noticed her joking about it a lot? Do you think she would tell you if she was struggling, or is there anyone else she would feel comfortable to tell, who you can mention this to? I have found sometimes just asking how someone's doing is enough when they are really struggling because it just kind of pours out. At the same time she could be absolutely fine, but it might put your mind at rest!
- Lucy :rainbow2:
Thank you
Sorry for very late reply.
I always randomly ask how if she is okay but says she is everytime and like so do i even when is obvious im not okay. So maybe if i was honest she would be too. Cause im starting to think something is wrong. Shes spending more days in bed and she has a new phase of "i just want to crawl up in a ball and die" she laughed but i was just like "are you actually okay"but she was still laughing. So i dont know im really concerned about her now. But i dont think she would ever admit she is struggling to anyone
It's great that you care a lot about how your sister is
It is really hard to tell with the whole joking-about-death thing. I have been suicidal and almost never say things like 'I want to die right now', but then some other people say things like that every 5 minutes. One of my friends always says stuff like 'I actually just want to kill myself' and it pisses me off so much cos she says it about everything - but then I now know she's seeing a counsellor. I have no idea whether these things are related (I don't know why she's seeing a counsellor) or if the joking-about-death is just her personality.
As you've said, when people ask if you're okay saying yes is the default response, no matter what is actually happening. It might be worth asking questions like how are things with your friends, do you want to go out today, things that aren't as obvious as *are you okay* but can still give you an idea of her mood.
I hope this helps
Tash
Thank you tash for help & advice