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Really getting to me

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have a fear of being called fat like in the past and it is on my mind all day long. It has brought me to tears. I hide my body and hate the weight I'm at even though I'm a healthy weight.
I have been called fat before and I have also been bullied a few times in my lifetime just because I'm quiet and keep myself to myself. There is one woman at work who always laughs at me, and put things on the floor to make me trip up but thankfully I see past it. Even though I have told the boss and she was given a meeting about it she still full on stares at me when she thinks I cant see her. And I fear she's going to call me fat. I do feel good about myself when I'm at home and I have tried to lose excess weight that I put on since getting anemia and now take medication for but its coming off only so slowly. I am fed up of countin calories. I need someone to talk to about this who can care but haven't been able to open to friends or family yet. Its really getting to me. Please help
💛

Comments

  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 The Mix Regular
    You are brave to come and post and I fully sympathise with you over being bullied. Nobody, not a man or a woman should ever be called 'fat', and least of all in the workplace. Also, there is govenment legistlation against bullying in the workplace. Here is a direct link: https://www.gov.uk/workplace-bullying-and-harassment

    Harassment is unlawful under the Equality Act 2010.

    Do you belong to a trade union? They can act on your behalf. They are very good at what they do in protecting employees. A union representative will give stick. :thumb: You should take action because having already spoken to your boss and seeming got nowhere, you have every lawful right to take things further.

    Another website that looks more friendly and helpful is BullyingUK: https://www.bullying.co.uk/bullying-at-work/the-signs-of-workplace-bullying/

    I will remember you during my quiet times. Be brave.

    Belle
    'If you think education is expensive, try estimating the cost of ignorance'.

    - Howard Gardner
  • MochanMochan Posts: 65 The answer to life, the universe, and everything
    Hi @lacey88

    Thank you for sharing. It can be difficult to share your experience so you should be proud of the step you have taken. You can always talk to us on here.

    Have you considered speaking to your boss again to find out about the continued behaviour of your colleague? It's important to feel comfortable at work and not feel as though you are being mistreated.

    What changes when you are at home? Do you spend your time on hobbies?
  • Hi Lacey,

    It sounds like your going through something terrible at work and don't have anyone to turn to- you aren't alone, we're for you with anything you may need, even if it's to have a rant about how your day has gone.

    You mentioned you told your boss, has anything been done moving forward? Have you visited ACAS they can give you advice on disputes and problems at work and how to manage everything going forward.

    You mentioned you have been trying to loose some weight since taking some tablets, have you gotten in touch with your GP, they may be able to refer you over to a nutritionist who can give you further information on how best to go about this. I've popped a link called NetDoctor that has some healthy well-being guides. http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/healthy-eating/

    It's really important you try not to loose focus on yourself and having a healthy working environment is equally important, do let us know if there is anything else we can do.

    All the best,

    Kharishma

  • Va life coachVa life coach Noob Posts: 3 Newbie
    Hi Lacey,

    I believe everything start with lack of self confidence, maybe you never got over the period you were called fat.
    Possibly this woman feels it and she is taking advantage, don’t let her!
    The best way to work on your confidence is to look at your number one “problem” and work on it.
    If it is your weight or body shape, I suggest start exercising in combination with changing something on your diet.( I am not a massive fan of counting calories to lose weight).
    Get the basic right: eat fruit and veg and drink water.
    Exercising is the best way to release stress, build a good relation with you body and get to know new people.
    There are many group exercise classes if you like or can go for Personal training session.

    It is important that you understand that you have the strength to get over this, just channel the energy towards the right direction and go for it.

    All the best,

    Va life coach
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Posts: 948 Part of The Mix Family
    lacey88 wrote: »
    I have a fear of being called fat like in the past and it is on my mind all day long. It has brought me to tears. I hide my body and hate the weight I'm at even though I'm a healthy weight.
    I have been called fat before and I have also been bullied a few times in my lifetime just because I'm quiet and keep myself to myself. There is one woman at work who always laughs at me, and put things on the floor to make me trip up but thankfully I see past it. Even though I have told the boss and she was given a meeting about it she still full on stares at me when she thinks I cant see her. And I fear she's going to call me fat. I do feel good about myself when I'm at home and I have tried to lose excess weight that I put on since getting anemia and now take medication for but its coming off only so slowly. I am fed up of countin calories. I need someone to talk to about this who can care but haven't been able to open to friends or family yet. Its really getting to me. Please help
    💛


    Hi Lacey,

    It sounds like you are feeling some insecurity over your appearance, and this woman is using her insecurities to make yours worse for you. What is it about being called "fat" (whether you are or not) that you fear?

    It sounds like she is harassing you at work, which is illegal. @Mirabelle has provided some great sources to tackle this.

    If you want to have a private chat about this, feel free to private message me. I'd be happy to listen to you and try and help youx

    Much love <3
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