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Social anxiety

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi my names Aoife and I'm new to the site! I've recently broke up with my boyfriend as my mental health difficulties got too much for him. He said once I'm better in myself we can get back together but I don't know how to get better. I struggle massively with social anxiety, it stops me from enjoying the outside world, being with my friends and being myself. When I'm around people I panic what they are thinking of me, can't concentrate on what they are saying, I act weird beacuse I'm so worried which leads to me thinking they think I'm a weirdo, I can never thinking of conversations to speak to people about which makes situations very awkward, and I overthink everything after I've been around people. I was just wondering if theirs a way out of feeling like this, I have felt this way for a good 5 years of my life. Does anyone have any tips to stop being socially anxious? I want to be myself and not worry anymore :( I'm seeing a psychologist next week but I'm feeling so down about it, I can't wait to hear what he says. Is their any medication I can take? I don't feel like I will ever get better.
Thankyou for taking your time to read this, please help xxxx


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Freedom4567 and welcome to The Mix community :) It's really good to have you here and good on you for reaching out about this.

    The good news is that yes, there are options to help you cope with your anxiety, I'm really sorry to hear it's had such an impact on your relationship though, how are you feeling about the break up? Do you have friends or family you feel able to turn to for hugs or a listening ear?

    We have a video that's worth watching about relationships and anxiety in this article: http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/relationships/is-anxiety-affecting-your-relationship-6012.html

    There's also some good info here on options for getting help for your anxiety: http://www.thesite.org/mental-health/anxiety-ocd-and-phobias/help-me-with-my-anxiety-5601.html

    Talking to your GP is the first step and some may suggest medication as an option whilst others might suggest some talking therapy like counselling. Talking therapy can be really affective for anxiety so you might like to see what options are available in your area here: http://www.youthaccess.org.uk/find-your-local-service/

    However, it's really up to you in terms of what you feel happy to try. It's really positive to hear you're going to see a psychologist soon a this is a really important step, talking to someone about your anxiety. You mention down about seeing them, can you tell us a bit more about what's on your mind? *hug*

    It's also worth mentioning, Anxiety UK - a national UK charity that offer support to anyone suffering from stress or anxiety - they'd be a good place to turn in terms of learning more about your options for treatment and recovery, they have an info helpline, text, email and live chat service: https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help-now/infoline-email-text-live-chat-services/

    I hope I haven't overloaded you with info here but the more you can learn the better equipped you will be to make your own choices about your next steps :yes:

    Let us know how things are going.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thankyou so much for your reply, I really apreciate it :)
    I'm finding it hard but knowing we're going to get back together is giving me hope for the future! I really miss him but he said we need to focus on ourselves so that's what I'm trying to do :( My family are being so supportive which is really helping. I feel uncomfortable around my friends beacuse of this anxiety but hoping over time with help I can overcome that!
    Ive been to my gp before and got help from the wellbeing team but it didn't seem to work :( The wellbeing team told me about this website :) The anxiety is so strong, I find changing my thought pattern is so difficult. To be honest I haven't really given recovery and help my full effort so maybe I need to try again? I've seen that to overcome social anxiety you need too put yourself in situations involving social interaction but I really don't think I can do that as I always feel like I will look like an idiot or a weirdo.

    I've been offered help from a psychologist as I attempted an overdose last Monday. Everything got so overwhelming with the breakup but I'm positive I won't do it again, I just really need to sort myself out! The mental health nurse said my main issue was my self esteem and how I feel about myself, aswell as my anxiety issues.

    Thankyou so much for all the information, I'll check out the websites now. And Thankyou once again for replying, it's reassuring to know someone cares.

    Aoife xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heyy Aoife!

    I have social anxiety too and it really sucks. But I'm getting better and I was thinking maybe my experiences could help you. Everyone's different, but you could try a few things.

    I'm a sixth form student, and every morning when I walk into the common room, I make myself sit with a group of people. I have earphones in, music on, but quietly. I don't really talk unless asked, but the whole being there and just listening to people's conversations really helps to me :)

    I mainly have social anxiety because I know a lot of people hate me and bitch about me behind my back. It's really mean and it really upsets me, but then I think, they are winning if I get worse because of them. So I don't let myself get worse because I don't want them to win, then they'll carry on.

    Try and do things you like around others. For me, I'm a guitarist so I talk about music to others, or gaming since I'm a big gamer. I know I seem weird, but if you are being 'weird' and your friends don't like it, I don't really think they're friends in my opinion. As for other people, screw them. I don't really try and talk to others because it's scary.

    Yeah, I'm recovering but I've got this far, I think you can too. I'm cheering for you! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Aoife,

    You mentioned you don't feel you have given recovery and help your full effort and I just wanted to say that's really understandable. Recovery can be hard work and so it's up to you to figure out what you need at the moment and what you feel able to do. It's great the wellbeing team told you about this place :)

    It can be confusing when you're hearing different things from different professionals too - what do you think about what the mental health nurse said about your self esteem?

    @Joel has some great advice there about finding things that you enjoy and also easing yourself in to social situations bit by bit and then celebrating even small achievements.

    It might be worth keeping your options open at this point and seeing what comes from the psychologist appointment, part of embracing help and recovery is being as honest as you can be with health professionals which isn't always easy.

    Let us know how you get on with the links too, :thumb:
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