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Dumped by a text then told that he is getting engaged
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi All
Whats happened to me. This guy asked me out over a years ago and then on the the 6th of feb 2015 he ends things with me. on the 29th feb he says that he is getting engaged but is still talking to me from then onwards.
I've slept with him a few times, he said that it was special, I was so scared so scared because I had never done this before
lately he's been sending me hurtful things like "what do you want me to do get married and keep sleeping with you" he made me sound so cheap those words hurt a lot. I don't like feeling like this.
I miss him a lot........Any advice on how to make him feel like how im feeling. and how do I get over him
Whats happened to me. This guy asked me out over a years ago and then on the the 6th of feb 2015 he ends things with me. on the 29th feb he says that he is getting engaged but is still talking to me from then onwards.
I've slept with him a few times, he said that it was special, I was so scared so scared because I had never done this before
lately he's been sending me hurtful things like "what do you want me to do get married and keep sleeping with you" he made me sound so cheap those words hurt a lot. I don't like feeling like this.
I miss him a lot........Any advice on how to make him feel like how im feeling. and how do I get over him
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on Saturday 14th march I got 32 messages everyday it is a few messages im scared to look at my phone
they come from different numbers so I cant even block him anymore
what will happen if I report him to the police?
He wont leave me alone, I cant even change my number because it is on contract with my dad and I cant tell him whats happening
Have you found any coping mechanisms that help with feeling the way you do at the moment? Some people find exercise a good, healthy release. Or maybe something else to keep you busy? I find I usually feel lowest when I'm not occupied. For example, during the first few weeks I broke up with my girlfriend, I taught myself to solve a Rubik's Cube and played a few Xbox games in to the ground. It wasn't anything major but they helped keep my mind off the whole ordeal. Do you have any hobbies or interests that could maybe do the same for you?
This stood out to me. One thing I will say is that you can't make someone feel something they don't, despite how much you might want to. It's also worth remembering that he might well be feeling things he's keeping from you. Either way, forcing someone to feel the way you do never gets anybody anywhere (especially in these situations). Though, it is understandable to want to, to some extent.
I must ask - what sort of messages have you been getting from him? You say they're hurtful and getting so many sounds a little worrying. I'd say you're right in thinking about going to the police and it sounds like cyberbullying. I'm not sure on the legal ins and outs of cyberbullying but there will be someone here who does.
Is there anyone around that you can talk to about this? Maybe a close friend or family member? Having someone near by to help support you could really do wonders. I want to point out as well that TheSite have a relationships Q&A service that you might find useful > http://www.thesite.org/relationship-advice/ask-about-relationships
All the best for you, and do keep us updated. *hug*
The kind of messages that I am getting are:
"what do you want me to do get married and keep sleeping with you" (when he said this I cut my wrists I just wanted everything to stop)
"you need to join a dating website"
"ive found someone who you can go out with" this will be followed by a few names in separate messages
He keeps reminding me that hes getting engaged when really I don't want to know
I get pictures of her, and I really don't want to look at them I think the emotionless/heartless monster hasn't realised that I loved him and still do to some extent. Why is he sending me pictures of her what explanation does he have for this?
He keeps saying that im still your friend and nothing more hes said this many many times
He says that I was an easy target........this makes me think was I used
since yesterday I have had 21 messages asking to borrow a book but I don't have it within me to see him
"talking to you makes me feel like im cheating on her"
I just want him to stop
Every time I try to piece myself back together he breaks me again and again and again. Its hard looking at what he says im scared to even look at my phone. Ive turned of the internet so he cant WhatsApp me anymore but he gets through on text messages.
I need the internet on my phone but im to scared to turn it on. to scared to turn it on
I guess my copeing mechanism is cutting myself when he makes me sound so cheap. I punish myself for falling in love with him.
How do I distract myself. I've got no one to talk to at home and he knows this I guess this is why he keeps sending me hurtful messages :banghead: what do I do
I want to tell him that I hope he has a very unhappy married life she divorces him that he can go jump of a cliff and that I hate him. But I cant hurt anyone's feelings especially not his
You don't do that. He does not care about your well-being and he actively draws satisfaction from your misery. The first thing you do is you 100% stop every kind of communication with him. Block his number on your mobile phone, block him on facebook and redirect his e-mails into your spam folder. Not only won't he be able to wear you down, it is also mandatory to create this space between you to be able to move on from him.
Second of all, he is a sadistic asshole, so be glad you got away from him. I would not claim that he would never treat you shittily like that if you were still together. Also, he got engaged with someone in the timespan of three weeks? Nobody can know a person that well within three weeks to sensibly know they want to marry them, so either he is lying or he has his own slew of problems. This engagement is nothing to be jealous about. It means nothing.
At this point you are responsible for your own well-being. Why do you still communicate with him if he brings you down so much? It's like you keep putting your hand in fire but never learn to stop doing it.
I block one and another message comes.
Like today, He said to me that he "knows a friend who he can connect me because he cares about me and he wants to help me and his friend is lonely like me and has no friends" he also said "that it would be good for me to socialize with people"
He also sent a message saying that "you'll have to change your behaviour if you want to work for my firm"
Work for him is he mad has he lost the plot or something
What does he think I am, something which he can use and then return and then recommend to a friend.
I cant go to the police because then my parents will find out and that will be more drama to deal with.
On top of all this I may have a massive problem about to come up
I NEED SOME HELP IN WHAT TO DO. Why is he doing this to me. why
I really want to go, shout and scream at him............he's broken me and I cant be fixed anymore........I give up
This really seems unfair - he is the one who ended it, and is apparently moving on, yet he can't stop messaging you and harassing you! It's completely normal for you to feel upset and frustrated because of this. Have you been able to talk to your friends about this? If you are worried about your parents finding out, then perhaps there is another adult you can trust?
Have a look at our article on cyber bullying that helps to deal with all this. The main advice is also not to reply;
Have you thought about changing your number? It should be very quick and easy if you visit a phone shop (or call the customer services of your network) they will help you. Once you've done this, only give it out to a few people. Hopefully if he keeps trying and nothing comes out of it, he will stop.
*hug*
I don't understand how I'm annoying him he's the one who wont leave me alone.
He knows that I cant talk to anyone about this at home, these feelings are really eating me up inside. I miss him a lot but, I need things to stop
Have you actually told him to, to not contact you again? IF not, then do that. If he contacts you again, tell him you don't want to hear a single word from him anymore or you will go to the police because he is harassing you. If he persists, go to the police and file a complaint against him.
Quite frankly, you will not start feeling better until he is out of sight and touch (figuratively speaking) of you so get on that.
My number should be changed soon.
Hopefully when he's on holiday next week he can focus on engagement plans and less of the messages to me. He's going for about 2 weeks.
He's asked me to meet him tomorrow and I don't know what to say? He says that he just wants to talk to me.
What will he say. Will he change his mind? Part of me wishes that he will
What do you feel comfortable doing?
Jesus, are you still holding on to the idea that he will come back to you after all of what he puts you through? TELL HIM NO! You don't want to see or hear from him again and then set into motion one or more of the multitude of options to make sure you never hear from him again. Seriously, there comes a point where you can only blame yourself. You somehow want him to stop, but you also want him not to, in the hope this all blows over and you can start over again, or what?
You do realize that you keep putting your hands in the flames and then come on here and complain that you burned yourself again, do you?
My numbers been changed today so glad. Only gave it to a few of my friends and family.
At the beginning he was so nice and caring, he was actually bothered about my feelings. But when the relationship ended everything turned sour. The fact that he ended things with me hurt a lot to much I still cry over him but what happened after the ending hurt even more.
I really want the hurting to stop I just want everything to stop, I hate feeling like this. I feel so numb and empty, lonely. I don't feel like doing anything that I was into anymore. I cant wear the clothes that I went out with him on anymore everything replays over and over again in my head. I cant even sleep properly anymore. I don't know what to do I cant go on feeling like this anymore.
I can focus on my dissertation or anything else
I am currently seeing a councillor and taking anti depressants but nothing is helping. Nothing is helping.
Can anyone help me to stop feeling like this
Cutting myself feels so tempting right now or maybe an overdose that should end what I'm feeling.
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" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
They've give me one more chance, to sort myself out. The docs will intervene but not that much yet. Feel so crap
I really do hope you're okay and getting the support that you need and deserve.
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Sorry to hear you were feeling so low and have ended up in hospital *hug*
Does your family know now what is going on? Do you have people supporting you?
It's good news that you changed your number, time away from him will really help.
There are a number of helplines and groups that can help when you feel so low and cannot deal with the overwhelming emotions. Have a look at the national self harm network, Samaritans which you can call 24 hours a day, and our article on types of therapy that can help.
Talking to your friends and family can help too - they know you and can support you. We're always listening too :yes:
Time away isn't even helping. Nothing seems to be helping. Someone well i know who gave him my number she says it was done accidentally and he phoned me before flying he said that because of cultural reasons he wouldn't have picked me but what hurts the most the girl who he is supposedly going to get engaged to is not the same religion as him. Shes the same as me.
I've turned my phone of because it causes hurt
I told her not to give him my number. but she did. I've stopped talking to her now. Don't trust anyone