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Between a rock and a hard place?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
MrRiot is moving tomorrow. I came up to his (50+ miles away from where I live) to finish the packing of his flat. I came in and he's done nothing all week, in fact it's in a worse state than when I left it on Monday. I asked him to call me and told him I felt taken advantage of and his response was - well I didn't ask you to do it so go home. I did offer to help him and he accepted the offer so I'm not doing it completely off my own back. He knows I can't do too much because it hurts and I'll be shattered for the rest of the weekend. I've been in tears most of the afternoon because I don't want to go home but at the same time I don't really want to stay. My mum stayed to help a bit but begrudgingly - she's really not happy with what he's done, but I was having a grumble about him and she called him a dickhead (not in jest, as an insult) which I felt was really out of order and asked her to leave before we ended up arguing which we ended up having anyway.
I feel between a rock and a hard place again - yes I have alarm bells going because the fact MrRiot's not wanting to have any kind of conflict and refusing to communicate about difficult matters feels kind of manipulative because I'm trying to be as flexible as I can but I can only do so much so I feel like it's his way or highway. But at the same time I have mum slagging him off and I feel like I'm having to jump to his defence.
And I'm now sat in a cold dark damp flat with tears rolling down my face.
What do I do???? I want to sort this out I'm not ready to give up on it all, but its making me feel awful!
I feel between a rock and a hard place again - yes I have alarm bells going because the fact MrRiot's not wanting to have any kind of conflict and refusing to communicate about difficult matters feels kind of manipulative because I'm trying to be as flexible as I can but I can only do so much so I feel like it's his way or highway. But at the same time I have mum slagging him off and I feel like I'm having to jump to his defence.
And I'm now sat in a cold dark damp flat with tears rolling down my face.
What do I do???? I want to sort this out I'm not ready to give up on it all, but its making me feel awful!
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Comments
I am in the lucky position to have a very good relationship with my mother, but it is not unheard of to stop relating with family members if all they bring is grief and upset. But like I said, maybe you are a more patient and benevolent person than I am, but from the outside MrRiot doesn't sound quite like the catch that you dream him to be.
With my mother - I have had periods of time where I haven't spoken to her and I find myself in situations where I need her or want to be able to share something with her and its a horrible when I can't do that. We are the only family each other have and tbh I know I'm not the perfect daughter (nor do I ever intend to be) but I can and should improve a little. I'm looking into family counselling to see if we can move onward with this. I'm not sure what else can be done with it that one right now.