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trying again
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi, sorry I haven't really been around for a while, been having a really hard time, and things spiralled out of control a bit! just want someone to talk to, get it out.
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We are here for you..
Want to chat about anything?
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Sorry to hear everything's a bit much. It can be really hard to find the words when there's just so much going on.
If it's hard to talk about what's happening, can you tell us how you're feeling? We can take it from there
Massive prompts on reaching out here, and being able to post, it can often help having someone on the internet to reach out to. You mentioned a few things were going at the moment, so I understand it can be difficult looking for a starting off point, but it's about starting where you feel most comfortable, or something that your minds focussed on the most, but what you talk about on here, is up to you! How are you doing at the moment?
Best wishes,
WhispersOfTheHeart
Thanks for getting back to us KatieJayne, family arguments can be awfully difficult, and can have a horrible amount of pressure on people at home, and often those arguing can't really see how it's affecting those around them. Were often taught 'DEAR MAN' skills in DBT when it comes to dealing with arguments and it's about being rational. As often arguments can become competitions slanging each other! DEAR MAN basically stands for...
Have you spoken to someone at home when things have calmed down about how you feel about the arguments, and how their affecting you? Who are the arguments between? -Massive *hug*'s- I often find drowning out arguing with headphones helps me in the moment to, while keeping productive, so my mind isn't as focussed on the argument, have you thought about doing something along the lines of that?
Best wishes,
WhispersOfTheHeart
How does the arguing at home, make you feel?
I'm sorry to hear about what's happening at home. As Whispers said, well done on getting this out. That's a really tough situation and it sounds like you feel stuck in the middle. From what you've said, it also sounds like you feel responsible in some way for lots of the arguments they're having, which you say often seem to be about you. Not only that, but you feel you can't ignore the arguments just in case they turn violent - as they used to with your dad. That's a lot of pressure to be under, so it's totally understandable to feel scared, lonely and trapped.
Often, when we argue about little things, as your mum and step-dad do, it means there's something bigger going on. Arguments that happen a lot can sometimes mean that the real problem isn't coming up. I can see why it seems like a lot of their arguments are about you, and maybe they are on the surface, but do you think there could be something else that's really going on?
It must be a bit frustrating sometimes, and easy to feel like there's nothing you can do. I'm guessing the thought of talking to either of them about this is really scary? You said that your mum sometimes picks up on your feelings. Maye you could try and find a few minutes when your step-dad isn't around and let her know how you're feeling?
It's great that you've already told a friend! That can't have been easy. What did they say?
If you feel able to reach out to someone, you could try Women's Aid. They're really good at supporting people affected by arguments at home or domestic violence. Worth a try?
Hope you're okay, and keep us posted
The people at Women's Aid are there to listen to you and help you talk through what's happening. They can also help you think next steps if that's what you want. You don't have to give them any personal info and they won't tell anyone else you've phoned them. They've got some more info here
But I just thought id see how you was feeling now? You say about pretending that everything is okay? how you finding that, I know when I have pretended things are okay I have felt tired and emotionally drained, it's hard to open up but it's worth it in the end.
Sending you hugs
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Its good that you opened up to your friend. That is a very brave step to take. Well done. Sorry to hear you got freaked out by your friends response to what you was saying.
Keep us posted on how you are doing. We care
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" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
It's completely normal to feel the way you are feeling, try not to lose hope of things getting better, you took the first step in confiding in somebody, so well done you!
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
I am not saying it's easy but it is possible.
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
How are you doing this morning? Just wanted to reach out and offer you warm supportive *hug*'s! - Did you call the helpline JPick had suggested above? Or even just looked into their website? Did you manage to get any sleep in the end? Would you be able to tell us what your friend had told you? And how it made you feel? It sounds as though her reaction was rather scary! But taking the step to open up to anyone is amazing, even if were not always sure of their reactions, but you always have the option to reach out for support on here!
It sounds as the conversation was difficult for you, both ways! But remember, people on here are always here for you to!
How about allowing yourself to relax a bit today? Maybe go out with friends for a girly day of shopping, or even self soothing, and having a little home spa day! It sounds like you deserve it!
Best wishes,
WhispersOfTheHeart