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I need to know where you are ALL THE TIME!

**helen****helen** Mod malarkistPosts: 9,235 Listening Ear
V-inspired has initiated a quiz to get people to think about what they consider to be acceptable and unacceptable in a relationship. :chin:

You can take it here: https://beta.vinspired.com/team-v-questionnaire

But what I'm really interested in is this...

Based on the list they've included - which thing do you have the least tolerance for and why?

Which thing do you think is really OK and why?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Least tolerance? Meaning what isn't okay? Checking your partners text all of the time is not okay, it's so untrustworthy and now I think it's controlling behaviour. I always used to have to put a password lock on my phone as my ex would try and read my texts while I wasn't in the room. I never had anything to hide but the point is.. I was going to say why should I have sat back and let him when there's supposed to be trust in a relationship, but I think I put a lock on because he would start saying mean things about my family if he saw any texts from them. In any relationship though, it's not okay to read your partners texts.

    I also think that to get jealous if your partner is talking to someone else, really not okay at all.

    I like the hand holding one, I wouldn't say all of the time in public but a lot of the time we held hands and it was nice when we were getting on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm too old for the survey - but I'd say that ?Somebody calling their ex all the time asking to get back with them' is firmly in the not OK category. Probably a rapid way for them to get a new ex.

    The texts thing I've got slightly mixed feelings on. There shouldn't be any need to read each others texts, and I wouldn't like someone doing it actively behind my back, but equally I think that there's sometimes a massive overreaction the other way. I'd have no problem with someone reading a text that came in while they had my phone, and replying to it for both of us if it was suitable. An example being the two of us had plans to meet up with a mutual friend Delilah and Tom later, Delilah texts me while I'm in the shower, partner opens message on my phone, reads it and replies to say yes we're coming and bringing the blamange. We both know each others phone PINs (even if the work policy is that's not allowed), I trust him not to go raiding behind my back, but wouldn't fuss if he was browsing in front of me.
  • plugitinplugitin Noob Posts: 2,197 The Mix Regular
    I thought three were most unacceptable (though I didn't label any of them acceptable):
    - the reading the texts one - complete dereliction of privacy. I don't have anything to hide, but it's a trust thing.
    - getting jealous when speaking to someone else at a party - mainly because I believe each person should have their own relationships with others so if the other person with me was just being jealous I would be wondering why they weren't trying to meet others.
    - calling their ex all the time to get back together - no just no!

    Most acceptable of the lot (but still not a 5) was not meeting the other person's family... maybe because I've been dodging the missus meeting my family for far too long....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :wave:

    The guys at vinspired are running a twitter Q&A about healthy relationships this Saturday (15th Feb) from 5-6pm. If you're up for getting involved then the hashtag to follow is #LoveIs

    They'll also be sharing the result of this survey :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hashtag LoveIs knowing the boner I get when we spoon doesn't always mean I want to have sex (granted, it mostly does) and that sometimes it should just be appreciated for what it is: a contact boner.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    Starting to catch up with some of the results of this quiz and apparently 61% of respondents think it's not acceptable to 'not want to meet your boyfriend/girlfriends family' - what do you lot reckon?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not be keen to, be nervous of, etc all fine. To actively really not want to I'd be wary of.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **helen** wrote: »
    Starting to catch up with some of the results of this quiz and apparently 61% of respondents think it's not acceptable to 'not want to meet your boyfriend/girlfriends family' - what do you lot reckon?

    Physically not want to, ever?

    I think it's okay to put it off for a while, but not ever wanting to meet your partners family, that's not acceptable.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In the early stages, I can understand it. But if it's serious, I would find it strange.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agreed, if after 2 months my partner hadn't wanted to meet my mother I'd kinda know it wasn't going to go anywhere. Saying that, I probably didn't meet my ex but one's parents for all of 6 weeks...and then I spent 10 days with his parents and grandparents in a chalet on the west coast of wales. Lovely holiday, but a little bit of shock to the system!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My ex had met (well, I say met, it was more they'd answered the door to him) my parents a few times. But that was before we were together.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    Agreed, if after 2 months my partner hadn't wanted to meet my mother I'd kinda know it wasn't going to go anywhere.

    Two months! You're a bit keen. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well maybe three months but I don't want to waste my time with someone who's not serious!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not sure either of us had fessed up to parents that we were seeing each other after 3 months.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Two months! You're a bit keen. :D

    At two months I'm usually still trying* to convince them I'm awesome enough to keep around.

    *and failing
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki, if they don't realise that you're awesome pretty much straight away then they're not worth keeping. I would if you weren't a friend and I was a guy...if that helps...

    Not sure it does but I hope you catch my drift!
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