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I'm a mess
plugitin
Posts: 2,197 Boards Champion
I'm not well. I've been forced off my anti-depressants because the Dr said I'd been on them too long and I'm stable and funding is tight so I didn't need them any more.
But I'm feeling worse than ever. And I don't know how long it's going to take for this to go away. It's been three months and the side effects are getting less bad, but instead I'm thinking the thoughts I'm not meant to think.
I don't feel like I can go back to the Doctor after what she said last time. Like going and seeing another is going behind her back and being deceitful. Then a small part of me with survival instinct kicks in and says I'm being silly.
But quite honestly, I want to die. I'm sorry.
But I'm feeling worse than ever. And I don't know how long it's going to take for this to go away. It's been three months and the side effects are getting less bad, but instead I'm thinking the thoughts I'm not meant to think.
I don't feel like I can go back to the Doctor after what she said last time. Like going and seeing another is going behind her back and being deceitful. Then a small part of me with survival instinct kicks in and says I'm being silly.
But quite honestly, I want to die. I'm sorry.
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It just feels silly not to trust the Doctor.
Just a question - did you have your meds tapered down or just stopped?
I've had 3 years of CBT, counselling and then therapy with the CMHT both prior to and during AD treatment and feel like the psychological issues have been addressed but there's just still this residual fog of 10 years that is greatly lessened by the medication.