I'm a mess

plugitin

I'm not well. I've been forced off my anti-depressants because the Dr said I'd been on them too long and I'm stable and funding is tight so I didn't need them any more.

But I'm feeling worse than ever. And I don't know how long it's going to take for this to go away. It's been three months and the side effects are getting less bad, but instead I'm thinking the thoughts I'm not meant to think.

I don't feel like I can go back to the Doctor after what she said last time. Like going and seeing another is going behind her back and being deceitful. Then a small part of me with survival instinct kicks in and says I'm being silly.

But quite honestly, I want to die. I'm sorry.

Former Member

Can you go to another GP in the surgery and show them this thread if you feel you can't talk to them? It's difficult for them to know what to do if you don't tell them how you feel

plugitin

Hi Miss Riot, thanks.
It just feels silly not to trust the Doctor.

Former Member

Remember the doctor isn't in your head. It's not a case of not trusting your GP but it's difficult for them to see the full picture and they can't feel how you feel, so you have every right to go back and say what you are feeling.

Just a question - did you have your meds tapered down or just stopped?

plugitin

I have had the meds tapered down but it feels like they don't want me back on them... each time I have been for the last 2 years they have said I should no longer be on them and that there may be long term risks associated with taking Citalopram for so long, so eventually I said ok fine, I'll go down to 10mg, and then when I reduced the dose I soon began to feel really low again and I mentioned it when I went to get another prescription but the Dr said I needed to be off them and gave me some more 10mg to take every other day so my body gets used to it, but that I can't have any more after.

Former Member

Have they suggested there's something else that you could take? Setraline is one that's meant for long term use for example. What about talking therapies? Have they ever referred you in the past?

plugitin

Nope, there has never been any mention of changing to anything else after.

I've had 3 years of CBT, counselling and then therapy with the CMHT both prior to and during AD treatment and feel like the psychological issues have been addressed but there's just still this residual fog of 10 years that is greatly lessened by the medication.